


Vocaloid's Adolescence

by When_The_Cicadas_Die



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Changed rating to mature cause yeah, F/F, F/M, Len is rude as hecc but it's ok, Lots of experimenting, Multi, Multiple gay ships, Possible two faces incoming, Raging Hormones, There shall be smut and it will be mighty, Twincest end goal, Updated characters after getting ideas sry lul, prepare for heartbreak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2019-08-25 12:53:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 88,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16661459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/When_The_Cicadas_Die/pseuds/When_The_Cicadas_Die
Summary: Rin Kagamine is sweet, pure and completely naive. Len Kagamine is cold, brutally honest and completely broken on the inside. The two siblings are facing adolescence at the same time, but both are experiencing it in very different ways. Will true love ever be found, or is it fate for them to hate each other?





	1. All Grown Up

**Chapter One: All Grown Up**

**...**

My twin brother and I have always had a special bond. We’ve spent almost all our time by each other’s side from the moment we were born. We always felt that connection during our childhood – it was a subconscious sort of feeling, where we just _knew_ we were different. However, that connection never exactly clicked until our eighth birthday. That day has a special place in my heart; the day we found out we could not just predict each other’s sentences, but we could also _hear_ each other’s thoughts. It was an unsettling find for sure, considering how young we were, but from then on, we knew we’d always be inseparable.

Growing up so close to an identical twin brother hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, of course. It’s messed with my already raging hormones from this dear thing called ‘adolescence’. My parents described it in the simplest way ever. In fact, I still remember the fuss my mother made when I told her I was mysteriously bleeding.

“ _M-Mom! Oh, my god, MOM!!” I still remember screaming at the top of my lungs for my mother, from inside the bathroom. Seeing blood coming out of such a forbidden area at twelve-years-old is never pleasant, in my defence. We were practically raised in bubble wrap. I remember banging frantically on the bathroom door and stomping my feet against the bathroom floor, in hopes to catch her attention from downstairs._

_And just like that, like my knightess in shining armour, my mother came bolting up the stairs within seconds. “Rinny, honey! I came as quick as I could – what’s going on? Are you sick?!”_

“ _Mommyyyy…!” I began whining immediately upon hearing her voice, the sheer terror only just kicking in. “I’m bleeedinnggg! I don’t wanna dieeee!” Oh, yeah, I was a dramatic kid._

“ _Bleeding? Bleeding where, sweetie pie?” came my mother’s surprisingly calm response. However, now that I think about it, I can almost guarantee she was as close to fainting as I was._

“ _My… my… myyy…!” I couldn’t even say the word._

“ _OH! From there!” She sounded shocked. I don’t think even she wanted me to say the word. “Honey, honey. Relax, don’t cry. It’s normal.”_

“ _NORMAL?!” I flipped out at that point, my crying growing way more intense. I was totally blind to common sense. I was terrified at that exact moment, refusing to believe that my mother had just called heavy bleeding ‘normal’. “Mommyyyyy!!”_

“ _Rinny, it’s okay! It’s okay, I promise it’s normal. It just means you’re growing up!” Even my mother could barely keep her cool. I still can’t decide to this day if she was angry at my whining, or if she was trying her best not to laugh._

_My obnoxious, high-pitched whining ceased but only temporarily. “N-Normal…?” I hesitantly repeated. “But… but…” I was at a loss for words; my twelve-year-old brain went overboard trying to think of a rational explanation._

“ _Honey, please get yourself cleaned up and we can talk some more about this.”_

 _I remember glancing around the bathroom and seeing something akin to that of a murder scene. Okay, fine, not really. But there was a lot of blood, honestly. At that point, I decided for some reason to ask my twin brother the most ridiculous question to ever exist, through thought, as one does._ Lenny…? Have you started bleeding too?

Those were good times. Fun times. I still can’t help but burst out into a short laughing fit whenever I think of what I asked my brother on that day, along with his priceless reaction. However, as I grew older and discovered more about this so-called adolescence, I realised it was only going to get even more complicated. Bleeding down below was the very least of my problems. As time passed, I begun to experience a whole range of different emotions. I found myself getting rather short-tempered, especially with my brother and his constant teasing. Along with that, I found myself developing crushes on all sorts of different girls and boys, each only lasting a couple of weeks each.

It was only recently that I realised those feelings were slowly shifting towards someone much closer to me. I tried to land dates with a few of the people I had developed crushes on. The girls I dared to ask thought I was messing around or being too weird. I remember one of them even told me, ‘girls aren’t supposed to date other girls’. It made me feel confused for a long time – I dwelled on it during the long, sleepless nights, wondering if my feelings were wrong. However, through each rejection, even though I didn’t feel much pain from it, there was one person always there by my side to help. Up until now, I never truly realised who I liked the most.

…

Today is a big moment for my brother and I. For the first time in our lives, our parents trust us enough to go on a short holiday and leave us home alone. There are only a couple of conditions, and it’s nothing the sibling power duo can’t handle. “We’ll only be gone for two days. That’s today, tonight, and then we’ll be back tomorrow night,” Mother explains.

Oh, please. We already understand perfectly well what ‘two days’ means. Our parents raised us in bubble wrap, but not _that_ much bubble wrap. I just can’t believe they didn’t trust us sooner with this. Currently, they’re both standing dramatically opposite my brother and I, arms folded and expressions stern. I run my glance over my brother, who appears to be listening intently. I suppose I grew up to be the troublemaker, because I’m not too interested in hearing the adults out.

“We’re still allowing you to have your sleepover for your birthday,” Father starts.

“But absolutely no more than four friends!” Mother finishes for him.

These two have always been so predictable. I saw those lines coming a mile off. Playing along, I give my parents a simple nod. “Can we order pizza though?”

‘ _That is all you’re interested in, you greedy child,’_ comes my brother’s teasing thought.

Don’t let it get to you, don’t let it get to you, don’t let it get to you…

“Ah… Just don’t waste all your money on junk food, honey,” Mother sighs, giving in to my pleading expression.

“Oh, don’t worry! I’m sure Lenny would be happy to pay for me.” I shoot him an innocent smile; however, I make sure to add just a _hint_ of a payback smirk in there.

“I would?” my brother remarks, narrowing his eyes at me, almost menacingly.

I sneak a quick glance to my parents, who appear to be glaring daggers straight towards my brother for his _totally not_ gentleman-like tone. I swear, this is comedy gold.

“I mean… uh, yeah, I would.” He quickly corrects himself, which allows our parents’ expressions to soften a little.

“Okay. We’re gonna go grab the rest of our things. Behave, you two!” Mother instructs. With that, my parents head out of the main room and presumably make their way up to their bedroom.

As soon as they’re gone, my brother and I turn to glare sharply at each other. There’s always so much tension between us – it never used to be this way. But of course, adolescence changes us all in weird ways. I narrow my eyes at him. “Why do you keep trying to interfere in my love life, Len Kagamine?” I demand, taking this very seriously. I keep my tone low, so that my parents don’t hear.

“Hah!” He lets out a mocking laugh. “Rin Kagamine has a love life?”

Oh, he did not just say that. That cuts deep! I grit my teeth together, trying not to yell at him some more. Today we turned fifteen years old, but here we are, bickering just like when we were kids. I’d say something along the lines of, _oh the good old days,_ but no. God, Len seriously gets under my skin. Our special bond from when we were younger seems to have faded out almost completely as we turned into who we are today. “I mean… of course I do!”

Len lets out a low snicker, in that same cocky tone of his. “Who is it this time?”

I clench my palms into fists by my sides, growing more irritated with each second that passes. Does he honestly think he can just get away with all these remarks? Especially with that last remark of his. I thought he was understanding of all my dumb crushes from a couple of years ago. No… He _was_ understanding. I’m sure he still is. “Rude,” I huff, before childishly sticking my tongue out at him. “Don’t act like you don’t know! Pizza has played a big part in my life.”

“Oh, god,” Len groans, rolling his eyes right at me, in an overdramatic manner. “I’m interfering because it’s taking all of my money.”

“Pssh. You only spend that money on filthy manga anyway,” I shoot back, almost as if our words were bouncing off each other. That’s one thing we’re good at these days: arguing. We both have a snappy sort of wit, allowing us to flawlessly present our insults and fire back when necessary.

“I do _not!_ ” Len hisses, in protest. I can tell he’s trying not to lose it. This is my victory this time. That pervert has become completely obsessed with gross sexual manga.

“I’ve let you get away with stacking those disgusting things in _our_ bedroom for far too long. If Mom and Dad were to find out…” A threatening smirk crosses my lips as I speak.

“Oh, god, you wouldn’t!” Len is sent into panic mode. With that, he dramatically drops down to his knees in front of me, a pleading expression crossing his features. I wish I was joking. “Come on, Rinnyyy… I’m sorry for complaining about your pizza…!”

I fold my arms as I look down to him; his fate is practically in my hands. Of course, I could never be cruel enough to hand his secret over to our parents. I’m sure he’d spare me, too. After a couple of moments, I let out a sigh. “Get up, ya big dope.”

Len’s eyes widen slightly at this. Almost immediately, he pulls himself up from the floor, before letting out an awkward cough. Oh, yeah, smooth. “You forgive me?” He grins brightly at me.

“No. But you’re buying the best pizza there is tonight,” I simply say.

Even though I clearly said ‘no’ to forgiving him, his eyes light up as he hears this. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he happily exclaims, practically bouncing up and down on the floor.

“Yeah, yeah…” I mutter, shaking my head with a slight smirk.

After these short-lived arguments, Len and I go back to being normal. We’re nice to each other for a little bit, then it goes right back to an argument, and the cycle repeats over and over. It’s exhausting, to say the least. I guess over time, we’ve adopted it as part of our daily routine. Along with it being exhausting, it also kinda sucks. No one likes to argue with their sibling every single day, right? Well, I know I don’t.

“Hey, Rinny, we should go get ready for when our friends come over,” Len suddenly says, changing the topic.

“Oh, good idea,” I reply, with a nod.

It took us weeks in advance to convince our parents about this. We wanted to spend some time with our small group of school friends for our fifteenth birthday. Naturally, I came up with the idea of a sleepover, because I’m talented like that. However, a sleepover suggestion is _never_ going to be easy for bubble wrap obsessed parents to hear. The last few weeks have been rather chaotic around the house; Len and I have done almost every chore possible every day, working hard as hell to gain the trust of our parents. They wanted us to prove we were trustworthy adults.

For one night of fun, all that hard work is worth it. We’ve always been forced to stay in after school and on weekends; our parents didn’t want us to get even a scratch. Our friends aren’t even bad people; they’re normal, just like us. Okay, except for the one time they… and the other time they… Yeah, never mind. Our parents are smart, but damn it, we should be allowed to do stupid things and live normally as kids.

Len and I start to make our way up the stairs, heading towards our bedroom. We’ve always shared a bedroom, from a young age. We grew up thinking it was normal – and I still _do_ think it’s normal. I mean, why would it be weird for siblings to share a room? We do what we can for ‘privacy’, but we’re so comfortable around each other in the first place that it doesn’t matter anyway.

Once we enter the room, I head over to our bed, trying to find some decent clothes to wear tonight. Our friends won’t be here for a couple of hours at the least, but it’s always best to be prepared. I kneel on the floor, beginning a full-scale clothes hunt. Mom and Dad could have at least done our laundry before they left, damn it.

Suddenly, I can hear a quiet snickering noise coming from behind me. I grit my teeth together upon hearing this, knowing for a fact Len is laughing at me for some reason. Here comes the part of the cycle where we argue again. Taking in a breath to try and calm myself down, I pull myself up from the floor and spin on my heels to face my brother. I narrow my eyes at him, staring. “What?”

He seems to break into a fit of giggles as I confront him. He’s such a child. “Your…” His words trail off as he takes in a deep breath to contain his laughter. “Whew. Rin, your butt _totally_ got bigger lately.”

“What?!” I screech, caught off guard by his sudden remark. I don’t even have time to stop myself from shouting so loudly. I heard his remark and immediately became filled with anger and embarrassment. I know it’s never a good sign when I become _this_ enraged. I breathe in heavily, attempting to cool down. However, it’s no good. I can’t stop myself anymore. “DAMN YOU TO THE FIERY PITS OF HELL, LEN KAGAMINE! IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MESS WITH A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GOING THROUGH PMS, THEN YOU CAN THINK AGAIN!!”

Mom, Dad… Please forgive me.


	2. A Meaningful Dream & Old Friends

**Chapter Two: A Meaningful Dream & Old Friends**

…

Occasionally, I find myself waking up after a vivid, yet strange dream. Sometimes it happens every week – other times, there can be months and months between the dream. No matter how long it’s been, it always finds a way back to my mind. It usually plays out the same way as it always does. It’s so full of life and so clear; I can remember it without fail each time. It’s a wonderfully beautiful dream – I just can’t understand why it keeps repeating itself, which is why I call it ‘strange’. Whenever I try to recall it, the details all come rushing back to me, sending me into a daydream state.

_There I am; standing at the entrance in a magnificent royal castle hall, in awe of the sheer number of people filling the area. There is a prestigious royal ball being held by the mysterious, dashing prince of the kingdom, and only the most important people may enter. I have turned up alone at the ball, however, I have broken the rules and sneaked past the royal guards, without an invitation. I have wanted to meet this prince all my life – to escape the crushing rule of cold, harsh parents. Running away and meeting the love of my life has been a life-long aspiration, and now, I have my chance._

_However, there is no chance of the prince ever looking my way. He’s well acquainted with almost everyone invited to this ball, and his parents have undoubtedly already picked out perfect matches for him. Though my long, silky, elegant deep red dress may be the best find in my life, it will never live up to what the other women are wearing._

_I continue to stare around the vast hall in awe. I can hear all sorts of conversations; I can smell the finest wine and most delicious food in all the kingdom. Though finding true love is everything I ever wanted, it cannot last forever. The truth is, I am not here alone at all. Although I am standing in this royal castle hall by myself, I have come here under guidance of a mysterious, god-like figure, who wants only one thing in return for a couple hours of freedom._

_The figure wants me to return a few drops of the prince’s fresh, royal blood._

_There I am; standing at the entrance in a magnificent royal castle hall, gripping tightly onto the handle of a knife behind my back. I part my shining pink lips to take a deep breath, steadying my nerves as much as I can. First, I the figure allowed me to have just a few hours with the man of my dreams, before I must lead him to the secluded balcony… And take his blood._

_Releasing my grip slightly on the knife’s strong handle, I reach a free hand towards the bag hanging from my shoulder. Opening it up, I take a quick glance around – though there’s bound to be no eyes on me, the figure warned me to always be cautious. As suspected, there is no one watching me; even better, the royal guards are not in sight. I am quick to slide the knife into the bag, making swift movements and remaining calm._

_At the opposite end of the hall, I can see the arrival of the kingdom’s prince. It’s as though my eyes shift on their own accord to glance from my bag. As soon as I set my eyes on the prince, I can feel my heartbeat begin to increase in my chest; my breathing grows shaky. He is even more beautiful than I could ever imagine. Tall, a staggering aura of mystery, and most definitely dressed for the occasion. My eyes scan over every inch of the prince; from his flowing golden locks and sapphire blue eyes, to his stern yet dreamy expression._

_When I think the situation cannot get any better, the prince ceases his talking and slowly turns his head towards my direction. Suddenly, the distance between the two of us grows much shorter than it once was. Our eyes meet, and time seems to freeze at that exact moment. Everyone around us falls completely silent as we gaze at each other; they cease their movements, too. I can feel a strong connection between the prince and I from this purely magical encounter – it feels all too familiar, somehow. I am rendered speechless as the prince approaches me gracefully. He’s right by my side in no time._

_This is truly love at first sight. At that point, my mind becomes blank and my original goal is blurred altogether. The prince reaches his hand forward, taking hold of mine with a touch so delicate and gentle. I watch as he leans over ever so slightly, pulling my hand forward to press his soft lips against the skin. “A beautiful flower, indeed…”_

_It is at this point I can no longer talk. I cannot say a word to ruin the moment. I become the mysterious one for the night, as the prince whisks me away to dance in the centre of the hall with him. As he pulls my body closer to his, and as we begin to waltz and twirl, the crowd focuses all their attention on us. They watch us in amazement, jealousy and excitement. This dance feels the most familiar to me, apart from our already growing bond._

_The prince and I spend what feels like forever slowly dancing in the centre of the hall. Even though time seems to stop during our eye contact and embrace, the seconds are melting away faster than they would normally. It feels to me like a dream within a dream – however, I am suddenly snapped from our dancing when I remember my true goal. Realisation harshly slaps me in the face, so much so, that I exhale sharply and pull away from the prince._

_Not even the crowd is concerned about my sudden parting, yet the prince is very much concerned. “My beautiful flower… What is the matter?”_

_I take no time at all to explain myself to the prince. I can tell it’s getting closer and closer to midnight – the deadline for my night. In a rush, I grab his hand and begin to pull him away from the centre of the hall. Still without a word, and through his confused protesting, I dash up the stairs with him by my side and we stop at the balcony._

_Breathing heavily from stress, nerves and other mixed emotions, I slowly release the prince’s hand from my grip once we reach the balcony. I cannot even take any time to admire the view. From the quick glance I sneak over the edge, I know it’s a beautiful sight; the moonlight spills down towards the balcony, shining down on the prince and I. I turn my back away from him, too ashamed to look him in the eyes._

“ _You have me so worried. You’re so mysterious… I can’t help but feel like you’re in danger. Please, talk to me, my beautiful flower,” comes the prince’s soft voice._

 _There are tears beginning to sting my eyes now. I cannot turn back. I must not. If I do not take the prince’s life before midnight, the dark figure will take every good thing from me. Despite my parents not being the most wonderful parents, I cannot bear the thought of losing them. Without a word, I make a swift movement towards the bag on my shoulder. Time is running out. The glass slippers supporting my feet are slowly melting away. I keep my glance forward, reaching into my bag and gaining a firm grip on the knife’s handle. Finally, I say one thing to the prince. To my_ _prince._

“ _I love you.”_

Before I get anywhere close to ending the prince’s life, I always wake up. Dreams suck like that. What if I _don’t_ feel guilty for totally gutting some random stuck-up prince? I want to get to the good part! I suppose dreams don’t work that way, though. That’s why it’s so strange. I used to love fairy tales when I was a kid, but now that I’m older, my love for them sort of just faded away. The idea of love at first sight has always been lame to me, as well. Though I must admit, the dress I wear in that dream is killer. No pun intended. The only thing that bothers me about that dream is the strong sense of familiarity regarding ‘our’ – I guess – strong bond right off the bat. I tend not to dwell on it too much, though. I usually forget about the dream a day or so after I have it, but soon, I might have a reason to think more of it.

…

“Are you absolutely sure we can leave you two alone?” Father groans.

Screw it, I don’t regret my PMS-driven outburst towards Len earlier. Not at all. But for the sake of our friends, I suppose I must act like I’m sorry. It’s not surprising that my mother is far more understanding of my outburst than my father is.

“Hey, it’s not my fault. I’m the victim in all this!” Len responds, _literally_ playing the victim. Oh, you big pervert, I wish I could tell our parents what you said about my backside.

“I promise, you can trust us. I just had a… moment,” I say, rubbing my arm in an awkward manner.

Mother lets out a heavy, almost thoughtful sigh. “It’s alright, you two. Honey, we should be more understanding, especially with Rinny’s… womanly issues,” she says, turning to look at Father.

Father gives a shrug. “You two should consider yourselves lucky that we’re going to let this slide. But that’s only because we were meant to be out of here five minutes ago,” he responds.

“Please… Try not to have an outburst like that again.” Mother sets one of her bags down, before coming towards me and wrapping a free arm around me.

I let out a quiet sigh, returning her hug and reassuringly patting her back. We hold the embrace for a few moments, before I feel Mother’s loving warmth fade away. She returns to Father’s side, getting a grip on her bag.

Only now, it starts to sink in that they’re going to be gone for two days. I was looking forward to celebrating the most perfect birthday without them, but now, it kind of hurts knowing they won’t be here. My parents are far from chilled or relaxed – sometimes they made my childhood a living Hell. However, I love both Mother and Father deeply, and I know I’m going to feel empty without them. Even though I don’t want them to leave, I can’t mess this up for Len, nor my friends.

Before I know it, my parents are out the front door and on their way to some fancy airport. They said their goodbyes rather quickly, as they stated they were running late. I had no time to give Mother a long hug; no time to kiss Father’s cheeks. I’m soon snapped from my longing thoughts upon hearing Len pipe up.

“Ah man, I never thought they’d leave!” His words are followed by a short, cocky-sounding laugh, causing me to uncontrollably roll my eyes. Trust me, it’s like an instinctual reaction at this point. “C’mon Rin, our friends will be here soon. I think we should get that surprise ready.”

Ah, yes. The ambiguous ‘surprise’ Len has been hinting at for a couple of weeks now. He told me he was planning for it to be something big – that I should ‘leave it all to him’. I fold my arms as I turn to face my brother, raising an eyebrow in curiosity yet natural caution. “So you’re finally going to tell me what it is?”

Len gives a nod in response, his stuck-up attitude slowly fading into that of a brighter, more upbeat one. “You remember those dance classes we took?”

Oh, boy. “How could I forget?” I rhetorically answer, letting out a soft giggle.

When Len and I were around seven years old, our parents begun dragging us along to some local dance classes. They said they wanted to add more variety to our after-school activities, and dancing seemed perfect at the time. Heck, it honestly _was_ perfect – Len was an amazing partner to dance with, even as a kid. We both enjoyed each lesson, and we spent many hours of our life in those classes.

Upon turning ten years old each, our dance instructor talked to our parents and suggested that she put Len and I into an upcoming dance contest. It was nothing fancy; just a small, local show, where the prizes were mostly sweets and a knock-off plastic trophy. Since we both loved dancing, we were the ones begging our parents to agree and let us enter. Of course, they saw no harm in a small contest, so we were allowed to enter.

For the performance, each dancing couple had to come up with their own unique dance. Len and I saw this as no challenge, and we spent many weeks coming up with the best dance in our lives. Nothing we previously composed could ever come close to this dance, despite how young we were. There was just _one_ thing I never thought of before. The audience.

Our parents never gave Len and I much exposure to crowds and audiences; as always, we were sheltered from all that ‘scary’ stuff. On the night of the contest, little me peeked out of the stage curtains, only to lay eyes upon the _largest_ number of people I have ever seen. I remember it clearly – at that moment, fear began to set in. I recall suddenly begging Len to reconsider; I said I could come up with some wild excuse and they’d just have to believe me. However, Len was extremely excited for the contest. It was all he wanted to do. I completely regret giving into him and going along with the contest.

Len and I were the first pair up on stage to dance. We were the opening act. I might have been able to take some time to relax if we were third or fourth, but this was the hand that fate dealt me. As the music begun and Len held me in his tiny arms preparing to start, I choked. Our dance started with a gentle spin, where Len _would_ have twirled me outwards to the right. However, as soon as he did that move, I found myself frozen and paralysed in fear, unable to continue with my part. And the longer I stood there, the worse I felt in front of the crowd. I can’t exactly recall their reactions, but I’m sure they thought I was one hell of a weird kid.

I’ve had a terrible fear of crowds ever since then. Whenever it’s brought up presently, I laugh it off. But on the inside, I feel like curling up into a ball and dying of embarrassment. That’s a bit of a dramatic approach to it, but that dance contest was honestly terrible.

“I know Mother had to drag you off stage and all, and you were pretty much scarred for life…” Len starts, a slight smirk pulling at his lips.

Oh, yeah. That happened, too.

“But sometimes, I think about how much I miss dancing,” he continues, opening up about his feelings for once. “You know how much I loved it.”

“I’m sure you loved the dance instructor mistaking you for a girl, too,” I remark, giving a soft giggle at the memory. I know my brother has a point. We made some of the best memories of our childhood in those three years of dance class.

Len shakes his head as a sign that he’s frustrated at the remark, yet I can see that uncontrollable smile shining through. “Not my proudest moment…”

“Uh huh.” I can’t help but grin, before giving a nod.

“Well… I found Father’s recording of our practice dancing sessions a little while back,” Len admits.

My eyes grow wide upon hearing this. I don’t know if I should be annoyed – because I had no idea those recordings existed – or if I should prepare to face incredible embarrassment. Maybe I should just go for both of those things. “Oh, God. He didn’t have, like, a recording of the actual day, did he?” I’m almost afraid to ask.

“You’re in luck, kid,” Len responds, in his usual cocky tone.

“Ha,” I let out a fake, obviously irritation-filled laugh. Did I mention how much I hate it when he calls me that? Because I do. Damn, at least Father didn’t get a recording of that day. I know for a fact Len would have a field day with that footage.

“I had kind of forgotten what our dance looked like – what it consisted of… You know, all that stuff,” he continues, coming back to a more serious tone. As I listen, I grow more and more curious. I honestly don’t know what he’s planning. “So, I scanned these recordings religiously for hours.”

Hold up, what? “Oh, so that was what all your extra ‘homework’ was.” I take a guess at this, narrowing my eyes at my brother now. It all makes sense at this point. He always dashed off, leaving me with my parents, saying he had some important schoolwork to finish.

Len nods at me, his smile growing wider. “We have a couple of hours to learn a new, even more perfect version of that dance.”

My eyes grow wide once more as I hear my brother say this. “No way!” I let out a laugh, almost in disbelief. I loved that dance more than anything; my fear of crowds pushed me away from dancing altogether, however. I desperately wanted to try and get back into dancing, but I ended up thinking I was a lost cause. But now… Len did all this for me? I hate to think so selfishly, but he couldn’t have done it just for our friends.

Len’s bright smile fades into a softer, sincerer smile, as he reaches forward and suddenly takes my hands into his. “Rin…”

I raise a brow, looking to him in confusion. Why is he being so… so _nice_ to me all of a sudden? It catches me off guard a bit, causing a light blush to sneak its way onto my cheeks. For some reason, I can feel some sort of subtle tension between my brother and I. Like something is tugging at me deep inside. I don’t know if I’ve felt such a small, subtle thing before. I remain silent, stunned by the moment.

“I know how much that contest effected your confidence… And I know how much you’ve always wanted to come back to dancing, but you could never get that push in the right direction,” Len says, his tone growing lower.

I narrow my eyes, focusing precisely on each of my brother’s movements. As he speaks, I can feel him release my left hand from his; he shifts his free hand to rest on my hip, and then he pulls me slightly closer towards him. I allow myself to be pulled in close, practically hypnotised by the intense atmosphere surrounding us. Everything feels so _different_. Yet I don’t know why. When his hand settles on my hip, I can feel a light shiver rush through my body almost immediately after. With my lips slightly parted and my eyes shining, I trail my glance back up to meet Len’s eyes.

And he’s just smiling at me, in the same sincere way as before. “Now here’s your push of confidence. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for this moment.”

“Len, I…” My words trail off. I’m at a complete loss; I have no idea what to even say. Then, it hits me. That light shiver from my brother’s touch… the position we stand in, and our closeness… This is all too similar to my recurring dream, where the mysterious prince holds me close and offers a dance in such a sweet, sincere manner. Yet at the same time, there’s that air of mysterious, unknown feelings held between us, accompanied by the deadly silence, and the same feeling of time standing still as we hold eye contact.

I think nothing of these similarities; I don’t mention them to my brother, at the risk of ruining our special moment. I want to enjoy learning a dance all over again with Len. It’s something I’ve always deeply desired, something I’ve longed to get back. I often found myself reminiscing my past, our dance lessons replaying over and over in my mind. This seems to connect all too well with my dream, yet I don’t quite understand why. I brush it off as one big coincidence, and allow myself to forget all about these confusing, conflicted emotions, just to enjoy some quality time with my other half.

…

Len has always been there for me. Even during the most difficult times of my life. Mother and Father never seemed to understand my different emotions, yet my brother somehow always knew how to deal with me. Maybe it’s some sort of deeply ingrained twin thing. I’ve tried to tap into my instincts and help my brother, but he hardly ever has any problems of his own.

_I sat there right out in the open, slumped against my locker, with my knees pulled up to my chest. I sobbed silently to myself, keeping my head low, and hugging myself for warmth in the icy, empty halls. Most students were gone now anyway, so I didn’t care about my current position. I just wanted to let out all the heartache and anger through heavy breaths and relentless tears. Having such a strong crush at only thirteen might not seem like a big deal to some, but to me, it was at the top of my list of problems. Especially after facing such a brutal rejection._

_I was always such a curious girl. I had quite a few minor crushes here and there over the past year. However, these feelings were so much more than I had ever felt, at the time. Putting it into perspective, it wasn’t all that strong, considering I was so young. Yet the rejection felt terrible._

“ _Rin…?”_

_I froze. Someone was calling my name; their soft voice drifted through the halls and was carried my way. I lifted my head up immediately, unable to recognise the voice for now. Perhaps one of my friends became worried and wanted to see where I was. Could I even let them see me in such a state? I had just been sobbing for ten minutes straight. I’m sure I didn’t look great._

“ _Rin?”_

_Their voice travelled through the halls once more. This time, it sounded closer than before. I took in a shaky breath, attempting to calm my nerves and cease my tears. I stayed where I was on the cold floor, lifting only slightly to rest my back against the locker. With watery, almost shining eyes, I sent my glance first to my left, then to my right. And when I looked to the right, I could see my brother walking towards me at a fast pace._

_I prepared myself for the worst. He was going to mock me for my tears, without a doubt. Then he’d lecture me for running off and being late to walk home. He hardly took my crushes seriously – he’d offer a few kind words but then get straight back to lecturing me for something. He was always looking to pick a fight. And then there was the matter of who my crush was._

_I narrowed my eyes, gritting my teeth together lightly out of annoyance. I just wanted to be left alone for once. I watched as he approached. Before I knew it, Len was kneeling in front of me, and I could feel his fingers digging against my shoulders._

“ _Rin! I was so worried…!” He let out a heavy sigh, clearly sounding exhausted._

“ _Len...?” I whispered, confused at his sudden change in behaviour. He seemed genuinely concerned. His expression is so stern; even his tone is the same. I looked up to my brother, connecting our gazes. I didn’t know what to say to him._

“ _What happened? I asked Luka and her friends if she saw you, and she gave this weird laugh before ignoring me. Did she try and fight you?” Len demanded. So, he wasn’t angry at me… But at Luka._

_God… Luka was such a jerk towards me. Yet as soon as I saw the rare good side to her, I wanted to see more. Answering my brother, I begun by shaking my head slowly. It pained me to even try and talk about it. “No, there… there was no fight…” I mumbled. I lowered my head, screwing my eyes shut. I could tell that Len was going to judge me and tease me endlessly about this._

“ _Then what was it? Why are you crying?” Len continued to interrogate me. I understood his worries, yet this was not something I wanted right now. “Rin, you don’t have to be scared to tell me if Luka and her friends bullied you. They won’t hurt you again, I promise.”_

_However, hearing his supportive words only made me feel worse. “Why do you care…?” I dared to ask. I sneaked a glance up to my brother, to see his surprised expression from my question._

“ _Of course I care!” he snapped._

“ _Sure doesn’t sound like it,” I weakly remarked, managing to find my sarcastic wit despite the pain._

“ _Stop being so difficult.”_

_I let out a soft sigh, trying to calm myself down once more. “Just…”_

“ _Here,” Len suddenly said, cutting my words off. He pulled his coat off and carefully set it on top of me. “You’re going to get cold.”_

_I simply stared as he moved his coat on top of me. It was unexpected, but it felt nice and warm. “Thanks…” I muttered. “Please, don’t be mad at me.”_

_Len shook his head slowly after I spoke. “I won’t. I’m listening.”_

My brother has always been there for me ever since that incident. Well, he’s been kind of supportive at odd times in our past, but he never showed he cared that much before. Twins are supposed to know everything about each other – or almost everything – yet Len has always been mysterious. Just when I think I have him figured out, he surprises me and acts differently. Maybe he’s playing games with me. I’ve tried to ask him what his deal is, but he ends up avoiding the question one way or another. I don’t mind, though. The surprises can be nice and it keeps our bond strong.

…

Len finishes up teaching me our new dance, just as the doorbell rings. The music that we’re using to practice with isn’t too loud, so it’s easy for us to hear. I’m glad our friends are finally here – the tension held between Len and I was starting to get to me, just a bit. “Think you got it?” he asks, grinning towards me.

I give a shrug. During our practicing, I messed up quite a lot. I haven’t moved around so much in a long time; not like this, anyway. “I guess so.”

“Well, at least we don’t have to show our friends until tomorrow,” Len says, slowly taking his hands from my body. “I’ll go get the door, ‘kay? If someone’s here this early, I bet it’s our favourite drama queen.”

I let out a slight laugh at this, trying to appear focused on what he says. As he turns his back to walk out of the main room, a small sigh passes my lips. I can’t stop thinking about how close we were during all that. Only now, the connection between our dance and my mysterious dream is starting to sink in. There’s no way I can tell my brother about this dream – but at the same time, there’s no way I can keep it all bottled up. With the way puberty is kicking my ass right now, I might just go insane if I keep everything to myself.

“Lennyyyy! Your princess has arrived!~”

My eyes grow wide as I hear a rather sudden shout. It snaps me from thought almost immediately. I dart my glance towards the door, trying to peek through to the main hall. I guess Len was right about who arrived first. Okay, Rin. Time to be normal for now.

Before I know it, the main room’s door bursts open in an all too dramatic fashion. I turn my head to look, and set my eyes upon the ‘main attraction’. Meiko Sakine. Oh, yeah, this girl is one of the main reasons why my parents worry so much about Len and I. Don’t get me wrong, I adore her. But… Well, she’s just so…

“RINNYYYY!” she screeches, in an overexcited tone.

I can’t help but gulp. She’s giving me a sharp kind of glare, the same kind an animal would give when it’s ready to pounce. “H-Hey, Meiko!” I choke on my words, following it up with a nervous laugh.

“Happy Birthday to the bestest friend in the whole entire universe!!” the female yells, before dashing towards me.

Oh, God.

Before I know it, Meiko is coming for me. And I have no time to move at all. As she lunges forward, she holds her arms out at her sides, and crashes right into me. “Meikoooo!” I let out a piercing shriek, losing control of my feet and plunging straight onto my back, all within the space of a few seconds. I can feel an agonising pain take over my body, as I land with a rather loud thud, with my friend landing directly on top of me.

Finally… Finally, it’s all over…

I clutch my head as I lie helplessly on the floor, the weight of Meiko’s body pressing against mine. That’s when I hear footsteps rushing towards the main area, and I can only presume it’s Len.

“Wha—What happened?!”

“Meiko happened…” I groan quietly.

“Uwah! I’m so, sooo sorry, Rinny!” She is quick to apologise.

As I open my eyes, I glance up to my friend, narrowing my gaze at her. Her eyes have grown all watery and sparkly already; there’s a large frown spread across her features. “Ah… M-Meiko, it’s, it’s okay. It’s okay, don’t worry.” Oh, please, don’t cry! Even though I know she’s probably faking it, or making herself look worse than she is, I still can’t be cruel to her. “I forgive you.”

Meiko immediately lightens up upon hearing this. Taking no care at all, Meiko picks herself up, crushing my body even more in the process. “Here, I’ll help my bestie up!” she grins, bending down and reaching her hand out towards me.

I let out a sigh of relief as Meiko picks herself up from on top of me. However, I still can’t bring myself to get up just yet. I think all that dance practice has made me even more exhausted. I politely refuse, shaking my head. “Nah, I’ll… just lemme chill here for a few…” I mumble, spreading my arms out across the floor, lying there like the lazy mess I am.

Meiko gives a shrug, before returning her arm back to her side. “Sure.”

Len lets out a small laugh. “Good thing Meiko gave the presents to me _before_ she body-slammed you,” he adds.

Despite my current position, I narrow my eyes to glare at my brother. “Looks like _someone_ forgot they were on pizza boy duty,” I slyly remark.

One of Meiko’s favourite words is ‘pizza’, I’m sure of it. Because as soon as I say that to my brother, she instantly spins on her heels to face him, eyes widening. “Lenny! You didn’t tell me you were working for a pizza place!”

“Uh, I’m not, Meiko,” Len says, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his head.

“Oh…” she mutters, pouting upon hearing this.

“But he _is_ on pizza ordering duty tonight. And he’s spending his own money on it for all of us! Isn’t he sooo kind, Meiko?” Oh, I’m having way too much fun with this whole teasing, patronising tone.

“Wow, Lenny! You’re so good to your friends and family. You’re the bestest ever, too!” Meiko happily exclaims, her bright smile shining through once more. I swear, this girl has a switch or something. Flip down, _sad._ Flip up, _happy._ Flip down…

Len lets out the most awkward sounding laugh possible. It’s like he wants to kill me right here, right now, but must muster everything he can to restrain, in the presence of our friends. Mm, I can just feel those daggers from that glare. “Well, I guess I better go get on the phone,” he smiles, before setting Meiko’s presents for us down onto the coffee table.

“I’ll be on door opening duty!” Meiko offers.

“Oh, it’s—”

Before I can even finish, Meiko has dashed away towards the main hall. I blinked once. Once and she’s gone! I worry about that girl sometimes. Just when I think it’s over, and I can take a breather for a moment, I notice that Len is now towering threateningly over me.

Fuck.

“I am so going to get you back for lumping pizza duty onto me,” Len hisses, almost through gritted teeth to me.

I try not to lose my cool. I flash a confident grin up to him. “Try me, Kagamine,” I whisper back, in a daring tone. This is the part of that cycle I mentioned where the war commences. Forget fighting with guns… My brother and I go full nuke. Every. Single. Time.

“Maybe I already have something up my sleeve… Maybe I don’t.” He gives a shrug after he speaks, turning on his heels and towards the phone in the hall.

Damn it, I hate when he says stuff like that. That’s all part of his mind games. I should be used to them after all the fights we’ve been through, but it still screws me up. I’m sure he won’t have anything to use against me so quickly, anyway.

I begin to pull myself up from the floor, getting myself together for the arrival of our other friends. As I stand up straight, I stretch myself out and attempt to rid myself of the pain Meiko inflicted on me. Speaking of Meiko… That girl might be destroying my house right now. Letting out a soft sigh, I head out of the main room and towards the front door, approaching Meiko.

There she stands, guarding the door in a serious manner, leaving it wide open. Right now, she has her head turned to look out the door. “Still don’t see anyone…”

I can hear her thinking out loud as I come closer. I fold my arms across my chest, a smile creeping up onto my face. Even though she’s so hyper, I can’t help but smile or laugh with her whenever I see what she does. “Heya, Meiko. How goes door duty?”

“Ah?” Meiko quickly snaps her head towards me, before giving me a pretend salute. “Sir! I mean… Ma’am!”

“At ease, soldier,” I say, with a giggle.

Meiko grins towards me, lowering her hand from her head, and easing her position. “But for real, no one is turning up. You think they were kidnapped by aliens or somethin’?”

I give a shrug. “You never know, these days, Meiko. They better show up, though. Today is important.”

“Eh…” Meiko mumbles. “If they don’t turn up, that just means more pizza for us.”

She has a point. “Smart girl, aren’t cha?”

“The smartest,” Meiko snickers. “Oh, oh! I hear someone coming.” She resumes her door guarding position, turning her head to look out the front door once again.

“About time,” I respond, rolling my eyes. I’m sure everyone is late now.

I take a few steps forward, wanting to know who’s coming first. As I turn my head and look out the front door with Meiko, I set my eyes on someone who I thought I’d _never_ see again. This causes me to freeze on the spot, rendering me completely speechless. They’re coming closer and closer to the house. Walking down the front path. Smiling, waving, acting completely normal.

“Well, here’s someone I haven’t seen in ages. Hello, Rin!” She comes in swaying her hips as she walks, strutting like a god damn model in _my_ front garden.

I can barely believe my eyes. I thought I would never see her again, after she left school all those years ago. “Luka Megurine?!”

…


	3. Luka

**Chapter Three: Luka**

**...**

_It had been quite a while since another student caught my curious eye. I was fed up with my crushes going nowhere, yet at the same time, my mind yearned for more experiences. It was easy to not pay attention in class, especially as a thirteen-year-old kid. It’s not like we could prepare for exams or anything at this stage. So, I found myself tuning out of my surroundings in class a lot, losing myself in thought. I didn’t care for the lessons – at the time, they were boring and never piqued my interest._

_I felt myself snap out of thought at a sudden, hard prod against my arm. “Ow…!” I hissed, hoping the teacher would not hear. I turned my head to the side, to see my brother staring at me with narrowed eyes. “What?” I kept my tone low. We were sat near the back of the class, so it was easier to get away with small conversations, without the teacher noticing. Most of the time, anyway._

“ _You spaced out again,” came Len’s irritated whisper. “I’m not going to look out for you much longer. You need to pay more attention.”_

“ _I did not space out,” I huffed. “I just thought for a bit, that’s all.”_

“ _That’s the exact same thing, genius,” he scoffed, in response._

_I rolled my eyes, turning my head away from him, looking back towards the teacher. Currently, her back was turned; she was scribbling something down onto the blackboard._

“ _Rin, I’m serious.”_

“ _Hi, serious. I’m not listening.”_

_That’s usually how most of our interactions went, for a long period. Len was always irritated at me, or I was irritated at him. We barely had peace. Yet at home, he was the complete opposite. Kind, caring, respectful, and not a jerk at all. It made me confused for a long time. But now, I was starting to get used to it. That’s when I also started up my sharp comebacks._

“ _Hey, did you hear, Rin? There’s supposed to be a new girl starting today,” said Miku, grinning eagerly towards me._

_I was sitting at one of the cafeteria tables, eating lunch as always with my friends, along with Len. Our friendship circle had always been the same, ever since we first started school. We were paired together for some team-building assignment on the starting week of school, and the rest is history from there._

_Upon hearing that there may be a new girl, I started to get my hopes up a bit. “Really?” I wondered, raising a brow at Miku._

_The teal-haired girl nodded, pausing to take a sip from her juice. “It’s only what I heard. Some teachers were talking about it when I was passing one of the classrooms.”_

“ _Interesting…” Kaito chimed in, resting both hands under his chin, literally poking his nose into our conversation. Well, it’s a free table, after all. “I bet she’ll wanna sit with us. We’re clearly the coolest kids here.”_

_Ouch, that sarcasm. It’s harsh, but it’s also true… Compared to other groups of friends, we’re… dare I say it, average. We’re unique in our own way, though. “Well, hey. You can’t say that just yet. We haven’t even met her.”_

“ _Like she’d even look at us,” Len scoffed. I turned to him just in time to see his famous eye-rolling. Always such a downer._

“ _I’d love to have a new bestie! Oh, but they wouldn’t replace Rinny and Mi-Mi. No one can get on their level of besties!” Meiko squeaked, interrupting with her usual bubbly tone._

_I couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I certainly hope they wouldn’t replace Miku and I,” I teased._

“ _I wouldn’t mind her joining our circle… One of us could finally get a date,” Piko added. That was all this guy seemed to care about – popularity. He was convinced every boy except him, Kaito and Len had already been on at least two dates each._

“ _Dating isn’t that important, Piko,” I responded. Though this never got through to him._

“ _Oh, please. Rin, that’s easy for you to say, being a girl and all,” Piko argued, sticking to his guns as always._

_I simply gave a shrug, deciding not to test him today. I opened my mouth, turning my glance back towards Miku, but before I could speak, the school intercom made its typical ‘beep’ noise. This alerted us that an announcement was coming. It was also meant to try and shut kids up, but the conversations continued as normal in the cafeteria._

_I closed my mouth, trying to listen to the announcement, over the many voices._

“ _Good day to everyone, we hope you’re enjoying your lunch! Could we please have two students, preferably Year 9 students, come to the foyer and volunteer to show a new student around? That’s two Year 9 students to volunteer. Thank you.”_

_Although I normally would have turned to Miku or Meiko, I immediately traced my glance towards Len, who was staring down at his food and looking uninterested with Kaito’s talking. “Len?”_

“ _Hm?” He lifted his head up, looking straight back at me and connecting our eyes._

“ _Did you hear the announcement? They want two students to show around the new girl. It must be the one Miku mentioned,” I responded._

_Len narrowed his eyes at me, staring for a moment before answering. “…so?”_

_Ugh, God, he was so unbelievable. “So! Let’s go?”_

_Before Len could answer, Meiko immediately butted in. “Ooh, ooh! Rinny, I wanna help show around the new girl! We’re going to be besties instantly.”_

“ _Actually, I was going to ask Len,” I said, feeling awkward ever so slightly._

“ _No, it’s okay, Rin. Meiko can help you out,” Len replied, shrugging it off._

_I let out a sigh, before nodding. “Fine, miss out on your dating opportunity,” I said, pushing myself back in my chair and standing up._

_Meiko sprung up beside me, full of excitement once more. “Let’s go, go, go!”_

“ _If she needs more than a guide, you know who to mention, Rin,” Piko said, winking to me, thinking he was being all sly and clever._

_I giggled under my breath at this poor, pathetic romantic. I gave him a nod, though had no intention of doing that for him, and began to walk out of the cafeteria with Meiko. We headed towards the foyer, and once we got there, that is when I set my eyes on Luka Megurine for the first time._

_There she stood, some of her light pink locks spilling over her shoulders, and the rest falling neatly against her back. She had one arm crossed under her chest; her other arm held outwards slightly, so she could impatiently stare at her perfectly decorated nails. Her lips were pursed into a thin line, and her irritated expression shined through._

_I took in her appearance within a couple of moments. At the time, I never thought much of her. She was rather pretty, but that was all I thought._

_Meiko, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to burst. “Oh, my gosh! Hey, hey! I’m Meiko, welcome to the school! You’re in our year, right? You’re our age? Yeah?!”_

_Luka let a light scoff pass her glistening lips. She trailed her glance away from her nails, shifting her arm to cross over the other, before scanning both Meiko and I with her eyes._

_This made me feel a little uncomfortable – it was like she was judging us during the silence. I felt the urge to swiftly apologise for Meiko’s outburst; I didn’t want the new girl to be offended or completely put off from us._

_However, she spoke before I could even think of what to say. “Uh. Thanks, yes, and yes.” She had a sort of mature tone for her age. I could tell she was way out of our league at this point. She also appeared to be a bit stuck-up at the time, which initially drove me away from her._

“ _My name’s Rin,” I said, giving a little wave, just to be polite._

_We began to show the new girl around the school. Our little tour was made easy due to it being lunch time; we strolled through the halls, taking her to all the classrooms scattered around the building, along with showing her where fire exits were. We lead her to just about every place we could think of._

_Looking back on these memories, I wish I had never volunteered to show her around school. She was the most insufferable child I had ever come across – and there were a_ lot _of jerks at school. She had a sly way of being rude; she’d come out with veiled insults, in her typical sickeningly sweet tone, before strutting off with her cronies. She came to hang out with us sometimes, but not a lot. Unfortunately, that was enough to make Miku and Meiko convince the rest of us to let her be part of our friendship circle._

_Despite Luka Megurine being a 100% grade-A jerk, there were rare moments where she showed her true self. I told myself that the whole jerk thing was just an act, and I actively tried to seek out proof. When I finally saw her being nice to some kid, who had homework problems, I was half-convinced about my ‘act conspiracy’. Though what fully convinced me was a whole different matter._

_Len warned me not to get involved. I didn’t listen to him._

**...**

I stare with wide eyes, looking out the front door, and tracking Luka Megurine’s every move very closely. She’s coming closer, inviting herself in without asking. Once I’m able to finally take my eyes off her, I notice she’s being followed by her original cronies. Gumi, Lily and SeeU. Then, my eyes drift over to Miku. I didn’t realise she was there at first. What the hell is she playing at?

Before I can even open my mouth, I can hear an anger-filled shout come from behind me. “If I were you, I’d stop in my pretty little boots, Megurine!”

I let out a shaky gasp, quickly spinning on my heels, to see my brother stomping towards the front door. Why is he defending me? “Ugh. I can handle this myself, Len,” I scoff.

He places his hand on my shoulder, shoving me aside, so he can come face-to-face with the gang. I’m quick to turn around, watching the intense situation unfold. “Sorry. I have dibs,” he remarks, in a stern tone.

My eyes dart to Luka, who’s only a few steps outside the front door now. I bounce my glance between the three goons, only to see they’re smirking like the stuck-up princesses they are. To my left, I can hear Meiko’s uneasy, low whimpering. She’s had bad experiences with the goons, just as I have. And already, Miku’s proud smile has faded into a confused expression.

“Aw, I almost forgot all about you, Lenny!” Luka grins, keeping her goody-two-shoes act.

I can feel the tension in the air growing stronger with each second that passes. Len is completely unamused with Luka’s friendly approach. I can see his stone-cold expression only grow more tense; his sharp eyes are as narrow as can be. It’s almost scary. I haven’t seen Len this pissed off since… well, since Luka was last around us.

“I don’t think you get it, pinkie. This party is invite only,” Len says.

“Right… And I’m Mimi’s plus one!” Luka swiftly remarks, grinning brightly.

“Right. Plus one… and they’re your plus three?” Len points to the girls surrounding Luka.

Something about their flawless, witty responses doesn’t feel right. There’s no way this is the first time they’ve argued so intensely. Yet… I can’t recall Len and Luka _ever_ fully engaging like this.

I reach my hand out to grab Len’s shoulder. I try to yank him back so I can finally face up to Luka, yet he only budges a little. “It doesn’t matter if you’re Miku’s plus one. You’re officially uninvited, by the party planners.” I glare over to Miku for a moment as I speak, and I can see her squirm. I’ll deal with her later.

“Oh, you need to lighten up,” Lily scoffs, rolling her eyes. She takes a step forward, inching closer to the house.

Len grits his teeth together. I can sense he’s making a difficult decision in his mind right now. “Lily, you know I’ve never liked the idea of kicking a girl’s butt… But if you step into this house, I can’t be held responsible for what happens to that face of yours.”

I let out a sigh in frustration. They aren’t moving at all. It doesn’t matter, though. I have to calm Len down before he does something he regrets. Trust me, I despise the goons and Luka, but I don’t want to be responsible for any injuries. Plus, there’s just something about seeing Luka again… after all this time… I think something within me is slowly resurfacing. I can’t bear to think about hurting Luka, nor do I want to hurt those she cares about.

Before I can speak, yet again, Meiko suddenly pipes up. “M-Maybe we should just let ‘em in! Th-They’re good old friends of ours, right? Lenny?” She can’t be serious, can she? I know she’s scared of Lily and the other two, but even so.

“Maybe you should learn a thing or two from Meiko,” SeeU giggles quietly, almost sneering towards Len.

“I know you don’t like hurting poor, defenceless girls, Lenny… But I assure you, that doesn’t mean we’ll go easy on you if it comes to it,” Gumi adds, speaking in a bubbly tone despite the situation.

I groan quietly, shaking my head. “Alright, enough!” I finally speak up, growing tired of the empty threats from each side. Silence falls, and I can feel all eyes on me. “Just… come inside. But leave once it’s night time.” I turn my head to look at Len, wanting to see his reaction first.

He does not look happy, not at all. He narrows his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. “Rin…” he starts.

“You heard her. Good decision, Rin. I’m glad we can see eye to eye once more,” Luka purrs softly.

As I slowly turn my head to make eye contact with her, I can see her bright blue eyes sparkling. I grit my teeth together lightly, averting my eyes a moment later. I don’t bother to look at Len, either. I know he’s only going to lecture me.

He speaks up in a low voice, a few moments after the cronies enter our house. “Fine. But the pizza on order is strictly for me, my sister and our friends… Though we’ll have to see if Miku qualifies by the time it’s here.”

I gulp quietly, noticing that Len is glaring sharply at the teal-haired girl. I’m mad at her, too. But I don’t want to cause any more trouble.

“Suuure. We can just find some leftovers in your fridge! Your mother was always a good cook, Lenny,” Luka quickly fires back, in a sickeningly sweet but subtle tone.

“Feel free to,” I interrupt, before Len has a chance to get angry again. I can feel his eyes digging into me now. I give a deep sigh, deciding to greet Miku and try to get an explanation from her. “Miku…” I speak in a tone which clearly announces my disappointment in her. I feel like I’ve been betrayed.

“You don’t need to order anything for me, Len,” she says, looking straight past me and at my brother instead. She completely ignores my presence and words. “I’ll just eat something with Luka and the others.”

I can faintly hear a gulp from someone – though I immediately know who it comes from. I trace my glance to Meiko, and give a slight pout. I can hear the chatter from Luka, Miku and the other three become more distant, so I can only guess they’re heading towards the kitchen already. Or maybe Miku has been told to show them around. Shaking my head, I stand beside my only ally.

“I… I didn’t want to make them mad…” Meiko mumbles, as soon as I step beside her.

Before answering, I briefly look over my shoulder, but my brother is already leaving. I can only see his back. So, he’s mad, too. Is he really that annoyed over Luka’s treatment of me? It wasn’t that bad, in the end. I learned to bury those painful feelings and memories, so he should, too. Turning to look back at Meiko, I give my response. “It’s okay. I understand.” I don’t understand at all. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around why exactly Luka has showed her face after so long. But I want to let Meiko know she did nothing wrong.

“After all, Luka was… our friend.”

That’s right. To Meiko, and probably Kaito along with Piko, Luka had been a friend. They never found out about everything that happened between that girl and I. Only Len knows. Maybe Miku knows now, too. But if I had it my way, Len wouldn’t know at all. “Mm… Our… friend,” I hesitantly respond, going along with her words.

Okay. I’ll quit beating around the bush. Luka was never just a friend in my eyes. I’d be lying if I said it was ‘just’ a crush. But I don’t think it was love. I really liked her, though. Maybe it had just bordered on lust and it was my strange phase of becoming interested in many different people. Long story short, I confessed my feelings to her one morning before school, after feeling attached to her for around three or four months. I just couldn’t get her out of my head. This is more or less how it went.

…

_I was standing awkwardly in front of the school gates, after just calling Luka over to a secluded spot underneath a tree. The cool autumn breeze gently pushed my short locks, and teasingly prodded at the white bow in my hair. A few stray leaves slowly twirled down from the tree, all while Luka looked at me expectantly. I liked to think I was close to Luka. Sometimes, she really could be nice. She had told her own circle of friends to ‘shut up’ at times when they mocked me. She had said to them I’m one of her oldest friends at this school. With all this in mind…_

“ _Thank you for coming over here with such short notice,” I said, making small, awkward talk at first._

“ _Well, you just called me over out of nowhere,” she stated, matter-of-factly._

_Even though it clearly wasn’t a joke, I let out a laugh. Perhaps I was getting far too nervous. “Mm, yeah…! About that,” I began, swallowing after to try and push down my fear. And so, I told her. I poured my heart out, confessing my feelings and even letting her know, ‘I know you have a kind heart deep down’._

_How foolish of me. How utterly foolish._

_There was a silence for a painfully long time once I finished speaking. I trailed my glance up to look at Luka’s face, since I had been looking down at the grass beneath my feet the entire time. She appeared to be clenching her teeth together… No. That’s not it…_

_Slowly, the sound of laughter began to overflow from her mouth, and its volume grew until it was painfully clear that she was mocking me. “Whaaaat? You can’t be serious! Hey, tell me you’re joking…! Ahahaha!”_

_Those words crushed me. Her words penetrated deeply into my heart, slicing right through it. I could practically feel that agonising pain, and I swear I could feel my heart breaking. I stared up at her, my lower lip quivering and my knees growing weak. She was… laughing at me…? She thought I was joking? “N-No, why… why would I joke about…” My throat was closing up. It was closing up, suffocating me, and I was choking._

“ _Eh?!” She ceased her cackling, glaring at me with irritated eyes. “Eww, no way. You’re one of those… lesbians? One of those freaks?”_

_I wanted to gasp at her words, but only a small choking noise escaped. I could only stare, wide-eyed. I thought she was better than this. I thought she knew better, I never thought she held such an opinion!_

“ _Oh, that really does say it all… It explains why you’ve been following me around like a lost little puppy,” Luka finally said, after breaking through the shock and disgust. She reached a realisation, apparently. “And to think I defended you at times. To think I considered you at least a good friend.”_

_Those insults continued for quite some time. And to make things worse, one by one, her own group of three friends arrived at school… and they instantly came towards Luka. I could only stare still, not quite feeling connected to the world anymore, and the rest was a blur. I could hear their laughter as Luka probably explained what just happened._

_And that was how I ended up all weak and pathetic by the end of the day. I didn’t want Len to find me. The entire day went by so fast, so before I knew it, I was slouched by the lockers in a completely embarrassing state. The instant Len tells me he was listening… Everything comes out uncontrollably._

…

So, naturally, my brother despised Luka from that point onward. Although, just two months later, Luka mysteriously transferred out of our school and hadn’t been seen again. Obviously, she kept in contact with her three minions, or so I’m assuming. And she must have finally decided to show her face again after two years, first by working her way back into Miku’s life. Why now…? I’ll never know. After today, I don’t want to see her face again, even if she comes back to school. As much as I want to respect her, since some feelings have been brought back, I must resist.

Eventually, Kaito and Piko arrive together at the house. With Meiko and I still at the door, we briefly go over the events of the past fifteen minutes, to make them aware of unwanted presences. Kaito is the first to sigh, mostly in bitterness because of his failed attempts to impress Gumi, one of Luka’s minions. Yes, I will continue to call those girls ‘minions’. Piko, on the other hand, being desperate as always, seems ecstatic at the thought of four more grown up girls in the house.

“Ahh, Gumi, I’m coming for you!” he suddenly exclaims, shoving my brother’s present into my arms, along with the present for me. And with that, he dashes off deeper into the house, knowing this place like the back of his hand. I can’t say I blame him. He’s an emotionally charged fifteen-year-old boy. As they say, at this age, they tend to think with their privates… Not their brain.

As the remaining ones, we collectively groan at Piko’s idiotic behaviour, before finally laughing. It seems like Kaito is my ally, too. Now that I think about it, Kaito and I have always understood each other well, too. We just never hang out much by ourselves. Well, with our other ‘guests’ today, maybe we’ll have some time to really catch up.

Naturally, such a hope had been far too optimistic. As soon as the pizzas are ordered, Luka takes charge and lumps us all together in the sibling’s joined bedroom. She claims she wants to ‘catch up’ and have ‘lots of fun’ with us all before night time. Well, there’s always hope for tomorrow to be a better day. The instant Luka opens the bedroom door, she takes a few steps inside and begins to judge its appearance.

“…A shared bedroom for twins. How cute,” Luka openly remarks, thinking out loud. Way to make me feel weird about it. Our friends never had a problem with the fact that Len and I share a room. They always thought of it as normal, just as my brother and I do. Gumi, SeeU and Lily all casually stroll into the room behind Luka, and then we’re graciously allowed entry after them. Luckily, our room is fairly big in the first place, so we can all manage to fit in. She turns on her heels after passing judgement, a seemingly innocent grin spreading across her features. “Well, then! Let’s have some fun!”

Although we’re not directly ordered, we’re invited to sit down on the floor together in a circle. Len places the two large pizza boxes down before sitting, and I’m the one to place our birthday presents aside for now. Luka glances expectantly to Lily, who has been burdened with the task of carrying a decent amount of snacks and other leftovers for their dinner. Lily gives a smile to her ‘boss’, setting the bowls down closer to their own group.

The atmosphere begins to grow rather intense. Miku is sat with Luka, Lily, SeeU and Gumi. Although they’re just sitting opposite of Meiko, Kaito, Piko, Len and I, it feels like they’re on an entirely different side. It sort of feels like a forbidden meeting between two mafia gangs… or something like that. I’m not so good at thinking of metaphors on the spot, see? Anyway, the air is still very thick. I can’t help but curiously glance between everyone. I notice that Len is staring intently at Luka. Ah, if looks could kill, Luka would surely be a dismembered mess by now.

We spend the first few minutes eating in silence. Our ‘side’ each grabs a slice of pizza, and while Kaito, Piko and Meiko laugh and happily scoff it down, I find myself not feeling very hungry at all. Despite this, I guess I should put on a show. Sighing lightly so that I’m not heard, and so that my strange emotions aren’t noticed, I take a small bite out of the slice. I suppose mushrooms aren’t so bad at cheering me up…

Eventually, after savouring some mouthfuls of pasta salad, Luka speaks up. Yeah, I can see what leftovers she stole from the fridge. Damn it… I was really looking forward to having that tomorrow, as well…! “Hey, how about we play some truth or dare?”

I raise a brow at her words, gulping down the food in my mouth. I sneak a glance at my brother, and he only looks even more pissed off. Geez. He’s scary when he’s like that. Anyway, this whole game of truth or dare really isn’t going to go well. But because of how we each feel about Luka and her friends, there’s no objections in particular. Miku goes along with it, Meiko does so out of fear, Piko gladly does so that he impresses Gumi, and Kaito is just indifferent really. That leaves Len and I. Personally, I don’t want to cause any trouble if everyone is okay with it. I look over to Len, connecting eyes and thoughts with him.

 _Don’t look at me with those eyes,_ comes his thoughts, with a mental sigh.

 _Don’t be so mad at her. We only have to play for a little while,_ I think. Nothing more comes from my brother, so I take it he’s okay with this whole situation. Well, at least he’ll go along with it for now. _I wish she wasn’t here either, you know._

All I can hear in return is a simple, _whatever._ He probably wants to scold me more, but knowing Len, he’ll want to do it verbally.

…

We end up playing a long round of awkward, intense truth or dare. Luka asked relatively easy questions, veiling her insults and judgement as usual. However, her friends asked filthy, personal questions – ‘what’s the most you’ve done with a boy?’ to us girls, and a similar question for our poor inexperienced male friends. We had been pretty much forced into giving an answer, under the guise of, ‘it’s just a joke’. Oh yeah, we sure had been laughing… Not. And by the time we’re done, it’s not even close to night time. We started playing at around 7pm, but it’s still only just past 8pm at this point.

Growing quite obviously bored, SeeU takes it upon herself to explore our bedroom. With most of us involved in our own conversations, from the corner of my eye, I notice her pulling herself up and stretching momentarily. She then moves towards Len’s bed, as if she’s searching for some hidden treasure. _Oh, dear lord._

I must have connected that thought with Len, because I can immediately hear his response. _What’re you so panicked about?_ His eyes meet mine, and I can only subtly point my glare towards SeeU’s back. Once I look back at my brother, I see that he’s trying his hardest to hide a terrified expression.

I know what he’s like. He’s going to shout and draw attention to himself, and to the fact that he’s definitely hiding something under his bed – like a complete moron, I should add. _I’ll handle it!_

“Hey, what are you doing near my bed?!” Len snaps out to the female, ignoring my attempt to handle it first. Like a COMPLETE MORON, I should add. I sigh and watch the scene unfold.

SeeU’s eyes widen slightly, but a mischievous smile crosses her features at my brother’s panicked, yet defensive shout. “Ehhh? Calm down, Lenny~ I’m bored! I’m looking for something entertaining, and judging by your reaction, you’re definitely hiding something!~ Ehehe!” Her sweet, yet extremely irritating high-pitched voice comes out. I grit my teeth instinctively at this, the very sound of her laughter like a ten-year-old pissing me off.

“Hiding something?” he repeats, casually scoffing. “Don’t be stupid. But this is my house, remember? You’re being very rude right now.”

SeeU apparently ignores Len’s words, and she digs her hands underneath his bed. Gross, gross, gross…! She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. What kind of teenage girl in their right mind puts her hands under a male’s filthy bed? It makes my skin crawl, especially since I know what he’s hiding. I let out a sigh, turning my head away from the female on her knees, knowing exactly what sort of reaction she’ll have once the cat is let out of the bag.

“Meiko?” I suddenly look towards my dear innocent friend. She’s in the middle of talking with Kaito, but this is a life or death situation.

“Mm?” She blinks, turning her sparkling eyes to me. “Rinny! Yes?”

“Hey, we were talking…” Kaito mutters, in a huff.

“Quiet. Meiko, I need you to do something for me,” I speak to Kaito first, telling him to butt out, then I continue to speak to my friend. She’s my only ally in this world, one who truly understands me… And as she has stood by me, I must now protect her innocence. “I need you to cover your eyes.”

Meiko is obviously confused by this. SeeU is going to find Len’s stash any second now…! She narrows her eyes at me, puffing her cheeks out in innocence. “Whaaat? That’s so weird, Rinny.”

“Meiko, please just trust me, I-”

“Oh, my _GODDD!_ Len, what the HELL is this?!”

Well. I tried.

Meiko instinctively darts her eyes towards SeeU, along with everyone else at this point, and naturally, she sees what’s in the female’s hands straight away. “Eh-?!” While Meiko pretends to faint, and topple backwards with shock, everyone slowly turns their heads to stare at my perverted brother. I look at him as well, an innocent smile pulling at my lips as soon as I connect thoughts with him.

_Try and get out of this one, you filthy little boy.~_

…


	4. Hidden Truths

**Chapter Four: Hidden Truths**

…

It feels like it’s taken forever, but night time finally comes. Just as the four ‘guests’ begin to overstay their welcome, Len decides it’s time for them to leave at around 10pm. Honestly, it’s surprising he didn’t kick them out sooner, considering SeeU unleashed a mighty hidden secret. And the nerve of that damn pervert, he tried to say those filthy manga belonged to me. Lily and Gumi in particular believed it right away, and even tried to get Miku to accept such an absurd statement. But Luka bluntly defended me, for some odd reason. I still don’t understand her motive for being here, though.

As the four girls clamber exit the bedroom, I glance over to Miku. She’s watching them with a subtle pout pulling at her lips, and I don’t know whether to feel bad for her or not. I can only assume she’s the one who invited them all here. And considering that fact, I’m relieved my brother hasn’t tried to kick her out with them. Once I hear a door faintly slamming, I acknowledge that they are gone, and I can finally let my guard down.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I turn slowly on my heels and head back into my bedroom, along with Miku. I glance around, and I can see that Len currently has his head stuck into the large cupboard on one of the walls near the back of the room. He must be retrieving the spare futons and pillows for the remaining guests. I move towards my bed, and plop myself down onto the edge; it feels as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Len finishes setting down the futons for everyone, and once he does, he breaks the harsh silence between us all. “Alright…” he starts. “Time to take turns changing into our night-clothes. Who wants to go first?”

Straight after Len asks that, Miku jumps up from the floor. “I-I’ll go,” she announces, stuttering her words. Without another word, she grabs her small bag and leaves the room with her head hung low.

“Well, alright,” Len says, shaking his head slowly. It seems like he’s still pissed off.

“Lenny…” Meiko mumbles, frowning slightly. She can apparently pick up on his sour mood, too. In fact, I think everyone else has noticed.

“What’s gotten you so mad, dude? We’ve been surrounded by all grown up babes! You can’t seriously tell me you didn’t enjoy that,” Piko says, speaking just like the dog he is. Again, can’t really blame him for that. But he’s met with a sharp glare from the male in question. Piko audibly gulps, and stops talking.

“Len. It isn’t Miku’s fault,” Kaito then speaks, trying to keep the peace as our neutral friend. “What if they bullied her into telling them we were all here today?”

“She needs to learn how to stick up for herself, in that case,” Len coldly replies.

I grit my teeth together, beginning to grow frustrated myself. So now he feels as though he has the right to begin trash-talking one of our oldest friends. “Jesus, you’re so-!” I cut my words off, hearing the bedroom door swing open again. The door is kind of creaky, so it’s easy to hear. Miku is back, and she’s in a pair of light-blue PJs.

Scoffing lightly, Len grabs his own night clothes and rudely pushes past Miku – who has a confused look in her eyes. He leaves the room, and I _bet_ he won’t be back for a while.

“God, he’s so irritating!” I burst out in anger, lightly punching my bed covers with one hand.

Miku silently returns to her futon, sliding herself into it with a sigh. “He’s right… I should have stuck up for myself.” She speaks after a short while, and this is the most I’ve heard from her all night. Now it’s clear. She must have been bullied into siding with the four girls.

“Eh, even so, he needs to lighten up,” Piko remarks. I look to him briefly, and just catch him giving an indifferent shrug. “Is he always like this, Rin?”

I can’t help but let out a laugh after hearing this question. I suppose my brother acts a lot more harshly at home, or even just when it’s the two of us. I can’t remember him being too rude around everyone else. “Pretty much, yea’.” That’s all I can say.

“You should go talk to him, Rinny!” Meiko blurts out, a hint of sadness in her voice. It seems as though she thinks siblings can calm each other down without any effort. “He’ll listen to you, right?”

“I mean…” I trail my words off, hesitating as I look at her innocent, begging puppy eyes. God damn it, you innocent, manipulative-… “I guess?”

Why did I even say that? Geez. With that, I give a huff and stand up from my bed. I might as well take my PJs along as well, on the off chance he’s just sobbing in the bathroom or something. Grabbing my night clothes, I let my friends know I shouldn’t be too long, and I head out of the room. The bathroom is just at the end of the hall, so it’s not far.

When I step out into the hall, I can’t see Len just standing around all miserable, so that’s a good start. I move down to the end of the hall, coming to the outside of the bathroom. It’s a good place to search at first, I guess. Shifting my night clothes under one of my arms, I use my free hand to knock on the wooden door out of respect. There’s no answer, but I’m sure I can hear some light breathing coming from inside. I roll my eyes, growing tired of Len’s childish attitude. “Open this door up, you immature little child.”

I can definitely hear a quiet groan in irritation. Tch. Typical. After that, I hear footsteps, and then the door is slowly pulled open. He still hasn’t changed into his night clothes. I narrow my eyes at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something first. There’s silence. Stubborn as always. “Well?” I decide to urge him on, impatient.

“What are you doing here?” He speaks up eventually, stepping away from the door to lean against the sink. “I could have been half-naked, you know.”

“Ugh, god Len, don’t put those images in my mind,” I scowl at him, shuddering all over at the mere thought of ‘Len’ and ‘naked’ at the same time. “You should know why I’m here, anyway. You’re acting like a total brat.”

At those words, I’m met with a confused glance, yet it’s like he’s in disbelief as well. “I’ve been defending you, for _your_ own damn sake. And you’re telling me I’m being a brat?”

“Yes, you are,” I bluntly reply, folding my arms over my chest and still clutching my PJs. I’m not taking his excuses anymore. “I’m not the kid I used to be. I’m over what happened in the past.”

“That’s great and all, but I’m not over it. I remember everything those wicked girls did to you, and I’m not going to let it slide just like you have,” Len says sternly, just as stubborn as me in this case. “That means Miku isn’t going to get off the hook easy, either.”

“You told her to just stick up for herself more, after those girls bullied her again.” I trail my glance down to the floor, giving a sigh as a thought enters my mind. “You wouldn’t just say that if they bullied me…”

“Rin, don’t do that,” my brother speaks in a demanding tone. “It’s completely different. Why would you even begin to compare those two situations?”

Unable to hold back my anger for much longer, I pull my glance up from the floor, and stare into Len’s eyes. “Why the hell do you care about me so much?” I end up shouting more forcefully than I intended, but I’m done with my brother’s attitude. I’m not playing these games any longer. He seems to shrink down a little bit when I growl at him, but I can see that fire of wrath remaining in his eyes. “I don’t understand you – not one bit. Sometimes I feel like you despise me and you couldn’t care less about my feelings. In fact, just earlier, you rubbed it in about all my previous crushes, as if they were nothing to me. But then… Suddenly you flip that, and now you care? Are you just pretending, just to mess with me?”

While I mercilessly lash out at my brother, I try my best not to show how much his constant mood-swings pain me deep inside. This has been going on for long enough, after all. Now that we’re getting older, I feel like it’s my job to put him in his place, and to put an end to these constant mind games. I breathe heavily once I’ve finished lashing out some more, just going on about specific examples of him changing his attitude every so often.

And then… Silence falls. It suddenly feels very tense between us again, just like the time he and I practiced dancing earlier. But somehow, the tension feels even tighter than before, and it causes my heart to begin pounding in my chest. He doesn’t take his cold eyes from mine during that suffocating silence.

“I just want you to hate me, Rin.”

Huh…? Did I hear that right?

Len pushes himself up from leaning against the sink, and he takes a step closer to me. Without really thinking, I take a small step backwards, but I can feel myself bump against the bathroom door.

“Ah…” I quietly gasp in surprise, realising the wide-open door is blocking the wall, and taking up any remaining space. I stare up to him, my heart pounding harder, due to what I can only describe as nervousness. “What… What the hell are you talking about…?”

My brother sighs, taking a step back. He probably realises he’s making me feel pretty uncomfortable right now. “It’s no good, though. I always end up wanting to protect you from the world.”

I’m trying to make sense of what he’s saying. Is he saying that… he can’t truly cut me off, due to his brotherly instinct to always protect me? But I still don’t understand. Why does he want to cut me off in the first place, and why does he want me to hate him? “Idiot… I could never hate you. Don’t you get that?”

“That’s the problem,” Len says, and lets out a sort of bitter-sounding laugh. Then, out of nowhere, he reaches a hand forward and taps against the top of my head. “Sorry, kiddo. All that doesn’t matter, okay?” He speaks with a cocky grin on his face, and pats my head a couple times.

“E…eh…?!” I don’t believe it. Was all that part of a joke, too? He doesn’t _actually_ want me to hate him, right? He’s so frustrating…! Unleashing the fury of a thunderstorm, I scream at the top of my lungs without worrying about any consequences. “Get your hand off me, you big freaking idiot! I’m not a damn dog, you know!”

Len bursts out into a fit of laughter, before giving a sigh and shaking his head. “Right, right. Go on, you get changed first. I’m not a huge pervert like you think, see?”

“Get your ass out of here before I slap you!” I order, shoving him out anyway. As soon as he’s just outside, I slam the bathroom door shut in annoyance. I let out a huff in irritation, turning my back to the door.

I’m left confused by everything that just happened. He very clearly was in a sour mood the entire time Luka was here. He was even really pissed off at Miku. So that part couldn’t have been an act… But… He just flipped his mood completely _again._ And I just realised… He had avoided my questions again! He hadn’t given me a proper explanation as to why he was so mad. And I just let him get away with it. Again.

Well… Fine. If he doesn’t want to tell me, what can I do? I should let it go, at least for now. I’ll just make sure he doesn’t get too mad again, and everything will be fine… Right?

…

Morning comes around faster than I want it to. Our birthday was yesterday, on a Sunday. And now, today is Monday. Guess what that means? We need to be up early as always for good old school. Len and I planned to have yesterday as a birthday party, but since we had uninvited guests, we’ll have to improvise. We already planned to have our friends over for two days, so it’s no problem. Once school is over, we’re all going to come back here, and then our friends will be gone before Mother and Father return.

I’m abruptly pulled from the world of sleep, due to some loud as hell alarm filling the room. I jump up with a frightened gasp, and then I realise what’s going on. That alarm ringtone… That damn girl… She better prepare herself for the fury of Hell itself to be unleashed on her sorry ass, for not letting me savour those ten minutes before waking up for school…! I take in a deep breath, seething with rage.

“MEIKOOOO!”

Eventually, we’re all awake properly, a little after 7am. I ended up waking not just Meiko up, but everyone else as well. Piko complained, saying he was having a ‘nice dream’ about a certain girl… Other than that, I didn’t get told off too much for screaming so early. We all took quick turns in the bathroom to wash up and get ready for school, and surprisingly, we didn’t end up being late. See, we’re all coordinated and awesome like that. We even have time for a quick breakfast, even if it’s just plain old toast.

School life isn’t so bad, really. It’s never been a pain – well, the only time it sucked was when Luka and her friends attended. So, for about… six months or so? The time before and after that wasn’t so bad at all. Sure, our group of friends are labelled as weirdos or whatever, but we’ve all got each other’s backs. We don’t let bullies get to us during school hours. We’re not exactly perfect, but we’re happy.

Today, that’s all about to change again. I know I should have anticipated it, but I truly was shocked to discover Luka is returning to our school. I don’t even know why she left or why she’s returning – there’s a few rumours revolving around her parents, but that’s about it. I tend not to buy into such gossip, but man, I really would love to know more about the mysterious Luka. That’s probably just my thirteen-year-old self still living inside my heart. Anyway, apart from all that, it means she’s going to reform her gang of minions and she’ll be the centre of attention once more. Oh, she has many more friends than just the three she drags around with her, of course.

My only escape in this school is drama club. My friends all decided to join this club with me, along with Len, too. We joined it probably around a year ago, when we agreed it was about time to join a club together. Club lessons take place three days a week – Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Monday, which is today, there’s an hour-long slot for our club in the morning, and another hour after school. Everyone says they hate Mondays, but not me! I look forward to every club session, and today’s apparently been scheduled as ‘a very important’ meeting.

We’re the first ones to arrive in the club classroom. Drama club is run by a very sweet teacher, and she urges us to call her by her first name: Miki. She’s fairly young for a teacher, perhaps just under her thirties, so I guess she’s rather relatable in the sense that we can relax around her and all. There’s usually about ten of us total in the club, so we’ve never been able to take on any large-scale play performances. We usually just act out plays in our classroom, and it’s always been a fun time.

But once we take our seats, it seems as though some new members are arriving. And guess who those are? **Ding, ding, ding.** That’s right! Luka and her three cronies… Sigh.

I shuffle uncomfortably on my seat, and break any eye contact with them straight away. I can’t help but automatically trace my glance over to Miku, who’s sitting a few seats away from me. I shouldn’t feel like I can’t trust her, but… What if she told them which club we were in, too? Damn it. I’m starting to doubt my only other best friend apart from Meiko. There’s no way she’d lie to us about being bullied. Feeling annoyed at myself, I lower my glance to my lap.

“Welcome, welcome!” comes the teacher’s cheerful greeting. She’s probably talking to Luka and the others. “Oh, it is so good to see you again, Luka! And of course, you three lovely ladies, too.” Oh, god. Gag. I forgot how much of a fake, goody-two-shoes act those four put on in front of teachers.

“Yes, it’s very nice to be here. And such a lovely, cute little club this is,” Luka says, and when I look to her in curiosity, there’s a sincere smile on her face. I can’t believe this. This makes up fourteen members, which probably means…

“Okay everyone, let me have your attention, please!” As Miki speaks up to talk to all of us, Luka and her friends take some spare seats from the sides of the room, to sit with us as part of a circle. I resist the urge to groan quietly, and focus completely on the teacher. “As you all know, the lovely Luka and her friends have decided to lend their talent to us! This means we have fourteen members – and _that_ means we can finally start talking about a real school performance! Isn’t that wonderful?”

Len and I exchange glances, and I can just hear his thoughts without even being connected in the first place. ‘ _You’ve got to be kidding me.’_

I mean, this isn’t wonderful at all. I can still _feel_ the embarrassment of that extreme failure from all those years ago. I don’t mind acting out a play in front of my friends in the classroom. But… But in front of a whole crowd… Oh dear, god. I hoped to myself this day would never come. We’ve never surpassed ten members in the entire year we’ve been here – safe to say, this club was an outright pathetic excuse of a club. But that was okay! I don’t care, it meant we were safe from public humiliation! This is just giving those bullies _more_ leeway to fuck us over and laugh at us later.

With his face still as focused as ever, Len groans in his thoughts without looking at me. _‘I can hear you freaking out. Stop it.’_

I gulp, pretending that I’m listening to what Miki is saying. But now it’s all going in one ear and out the other. ‘ _I can’t just stop! Damn it Len, you aren’t helping! Don’t you understand what a real school performance means?!’_

‘ _I understand your fear of crowds, but you gotta get over it someday.’_

Not even bothering to respond to that, I fold my arms over my chest with a slight ‘huff’ noise, and listen to the teacher again. I _want_ to get over my fear of crowds, but that memory from dancing lessons really does haunt me still. Giving a mental sigh, I watch as the teacher begins to rummage through her bag, and pulls out a bunch of what I can only assume to be scripts. I raise a brow. She must have been waiting for this day, definitely. It’s pitiable in a way…

Miki grins brightly, and starts heading towards our little circle of chairs. She hands out a copy of a script to each of us. “Here you go, everyone. This is a little something I wrote myself! Now, it’s not quite original material, if you give it a read, hehe… But it’s as unique as I could make it. Let’s all have a read through as a club, okay? Everyone open it up!”

Oh, good. She’s going to make us read it right now. I suddenly don’t feel as relaxed, knowing Luka and her friends are right here. They won’t show it, but they’re definitely going to mock us in their heads. Trying not to think about the relentless mocking I’ll fall victim to in the near future, I gulp silently and scan my eyes over the title of the play. It’s nothing fancy. Just some big, bold words on a sheet of plain white paper. Its title is **Forbidden Happy Ever After**. Wow, that’s totally not cheesy or over the top at all.

“Wow, Miss. Even the title itself is very attractive,” Luka says, wasting no time to kiss ass.

Rolling my eyes subtly, I open the script to the first page. Even reading over it before we start reading aloud, I can tell this is the classic sappy prince and princess fairy-tale. Seems almost Cinderella-esque. Everyone else seems excited to rehearse this play, though.

Miki begins handing out roles to each of us. She hands out roles such as ‘rival princess’, ‘royalty servants’, ‘party guests’, etc. My friends seem pleased with their roles so far, despite them sounding so boring. Then, she hands out the more interesting roles. Luka is given ‘Princess’s Mother’, Lily and SeeU receive ‘Sneering Sisters’ roles – ironically – and Gumi receives the role of ‘Sweet Sister’. I don’t know if the teacher is giving them main roles just because she blatantly favours them or what.

No matter that, she continues. Len receives the role of ‘Corrupt Wish Granter’, which definitely sounds interesting. Miku receives the role of ‘Rival Princess’. And this is actually where it gets interesting, or perhaps, more fearful. Kaito is given the role of ‘The Prince’. And strangely enough, I’m asked if I want to take the role of ‘The Princess’. I’m no fool – that sounds exactly like the biggest part in the play. Which means more and more opportunities to make a fool of myself in front of the whole school.

“Me? Well, ah… Won’t Meiko be better suited for that role?” I try to turn it down, not wanting to state why exactly.

Meiko looks at me as soon as I mention her name. “No! I’m the party’s jester, Rinny. I can’t turn that down!” she protests, puffing her cheeks out. Of course you can’t. Thank you for the support.

“Want me to play the princess, Rin?” Piko pipes up, grinning cheekily at me. He then tries to throw his arms around Kaito. “Kaitoooo, let me be your princess!”

“M-Miss Miki, help-!”

“Piko, you can’t be the princess, I’m sorry,” the teacher sighs, and Piko frowns as he lowers his arms from Kaito. God damn those two clowns…!

I let out a sigh, running out of people to push my role onto. But then, I can hear Len’s thoughts.

‘ _Come on, Rin. Don’t ruin everyone else’s fun. You’ll be a perfect princess, I’m sure of it. Besides, I get to cast a curse of death on you- Don’t you dare ruin that once in a lifetime opportunity for me.’_

I resist the urge to roll my eyes at Len’s fucked priorities. But I guess I should at least try. I can always back out on the night of the performance, right? “Uh… Well, sure, I guess I could try.” I finally give in, and Miki’s expression lights up.

“Thank you! This is going to be amazing! Let’s begin reading right away, shall we?”

As we begin to read through the play aloud, each of us taking turns according to the script, I find that it feels somewhat… familiar. At first, I barely notice that feeling. After all, this seems like a generic fairy-tale, with the evil mother and sisters, and even some kind of curse being involved. But when we get further and further into the script – which doesn’t take too long, considering it’s a practice run – it becomes more evident. There’s one scene in particular; it moves onto a traditional royalty ball, but just picturing it in my head brings back a sudden memory.

This feels _awfully similar to that dream I keep having._ The only difference is, that prince is really Kaito – so I don’t feel that strong connection like the one in my dream. But the similarities between this play and my dream are just screaming at me. Even the whole cursed wish thing is the same. The princess in the play is left unable to speak, as she hasn’t a need for words, and the only condition is that she must ‘kill’ the prince. Reading over that scene out loud sends a shiver down my spine, as if dreams have met with reality. Maybe I overacted just a bit, getting too involved in that scene, because I can feel several pairs of eyes, either staring at me in awe or in disbelief at how serious I’m being.

Once the play comes to an end, I’m left with a weird, indescribable feeling within. Perhaps I’m thinking too much about it. After all, there’s coincidences and all in this world, right? And with all those fairy-tales out there, it’s no surprise that it came into my dreams and into reality at around the same time. Besides, all that stereotypical fairy-tale crap aside, there’s another thing that bugs me the most. The prince and princess are supposed to share a short kiss just before the princess kills him.

I can’t help but feel a light blush sneak up onto my cheeks at that thought. I trail my glance secretly over to Kaito, while everyone else spends the last ten minutes of club time talking amongst themselves. I look at him curiously – I mean, _really_ look at him. As I’ve thought before, I’ve never felt all that close to Kaito. Sure, he’s a fun person to be around, and he’s smart along with level-headed at the same time. He’s a good friend, for sure. But… As someone who doesn’t take feelings lightly, I feel like just kissing him for a play is kind of… cheap? Weird? Yet at the same time, the very idea of it makes my heart pound a little faster.

“Hey, Rin?”

I blink, snapping out of thought after hearing a voice say my name. I glance around in confusion – ah, if only I payed attention. Then I’d know quicker and not look so stupid and air-headed. I realise that it’s Kaito a short while after looking around, and I send him a light smile. I try to push away any awkward feelings, thinking of him as my good friend. “Mm?” I curiously hum.

“How do you feel about this play, honestly?” he wonders, propping his arm on top of his chair, and resting his cheek against his palm casually.

“Ehh, well… It’s not so bad, I guess. I wish I wasn’t playing such a major role, though,” I admit, giving a half-hearted, nervous laugh. I rest my palms on my lap, letting out a sigh. “It just puts a lot of pressure on me, ya know?”

“Mm, for sure,” Kaito says, nodding once in agreement. “If you feel weird about that whole kiss scene thing, we should take it to Miss Miki and ask her to cut it out or something.”

Seems like he’s a mind reader. Or does he not want it, either? …Idiot! I mentally curse myself. Of course, he doesn’t want that. I can’t be so sure, though. Even though I feel awkward as hell about it, I shake my head to disagree. “I don’t want to cause any problems for Miss Miki or anything. Ah… As long as you’re okay with it…?”

Kaito then gives a shrug, indifferent as always. “Sure, why not. It’s just for the play. It wouldn’t mean anything to me.”

“Y-Yeah, that’s right! Me too,” I promptly answer, nodding my head. I try to play it off, but I end up stuttering anyway. ‘ _Don’t be an idiot, Rin. Don’t get a crush on Kaito._ ’ Ah, crap. I hope Len doesn’t hear that. I keep forgetting this creepy thing of ours where we can connect thoughts – so much so, that I forget to mentally ‘switch off’ connections before certain thoughts. There’s nothing in return though, so I can only hope he hadn’t heard.

Anyway, I just want to get this whole play thing out of the way. Miki told us all that we’d now be assigned an hour per day to rehearse together, so that would take up one of our other lessons. We have also been assigned an extra hour per day after school. If we keep it up like this, hopefully we’ll be done with it by next Monday. Or is that just me being too optimistic? I hope not. We’re all good at remembering lines – well, apart from Meiko and Piko. I’m going to hope Luka and her group are at least somewhat decent actors.

…

At lunchtime, while sat around a table with the others, I decide to invest myself in studying the script. Taking small bites of my sandwich, I narrow my eyes and completely focus on reading through it over and over. Well, I’m reading one part in particular. That royalty ball scene. Call me stupid, but I just can’t get over how similar it is to that dream I keep having. It’s just freaking me out at this point, and I can’t shake that weird feeling deep inside when I read over it.

“Rinny? Why are you reading that? We have all the time in the world during our scheduled rehearsals!” Meiko’s voice pulls me from my concentration.

Raising a brow, after being in a day-dream state again, I slowly lower the script to see that both Meiko and Len are staring at me in disbelief. I let out a sigh, shoving the script back into my bag, and then stuffing the remainder of my sandwich into my mouth.

“I guess she’s just kind of nervous after receiving such a huge part…” Miku quietly adds, swirling her straw awkwardly around her smoothie.

“I’m sooo jealous, Rin. I wanted to have a big role, too! In fact, I wanted to be the prince, then we could kiss and live happily ever after, and have-”

Tutting in irritation, Len tears a small piece of bread from his sandwich and launches it off Piko’s face. That cuts him off as he begins to fantasise more and more about being my prince. “Oi.”

“Ahah… It seems like I can’t always be your knight in shining armour, princess Rin,” Kaito snickers at this, making a joke in reference to my brother’s act of heroism.

I give a shrug at this. “I prefer non-violent methods. Sorry, Len.”

“Oh, poor Piko…!” Meiko gasps, beginning to fuss over him.

“Hey. I could have easily landed an uppercut. But I don’t do that to my brothers,” Len casually remarks, maintaining his ‘bro code’ or whatever. How nice of him.

And with that, the conversations between everyone continue again. But I remain silent again, beginning to lightly stab through my pudding with a spoon, absent-minded. That dream creeps up once more from the back of my mind. I still have so many unanswered questions. Am I supposed to find the one who I feel such a strong connection to in my dream? No matter where I look, no matter whose eyes I look into, I can’t feel that instant connection. It’s bugging me like crazy.

‘ _Alright, enough. What’s your obsession with that script?’_ Len’s thoughts enter mine, and it almost startles me due to how much I’ve been concentrating.

‘ _Eh? Mind your own business. Geez, can’t I have_ any _privacy to myself?’_ I think those words in a mocking, irritated tone.

‘ _I can hear literally everything you’re thinking. You aren’t concentrating hard enough on shutting me out,’_ he remarks, and when I look at him, his eyes are narrowed probably in annoyance. Oops. I’ve probably been bugging the hell out of him. ‘ _Sooo… About this dream?’_ Oh, geez. I can hear that sickeningly sweet tone, and I bet if we were having an actual conversation, he’d be smirking. And I’d want to punch that smirk off his sly face.

‘ _You did not…_ ’

‘ _A mysterious prince who you feel a deep connection to… Oooh, so romantic!~’_ Len adds a mental snicker at the end of his teasing words.

I grit my teeth together, trying not to let my embarrassment physically show. I’m dying on the inside here. ‘ _Oi, you shut your mouth! …I mean… Stop your thoughts! Damn it!’_ Good one. ‘Shut your mouth’. Real good.

‘ _Seriously, girls worry way too much. You think your dream literally came into reality? You know how many sappy fairy-tales are out there, right? Don’t think you’re special, kiddo…’_

‘ _Stop calling me kiddo!!’_ I angrily demand inside my head. ‘ _And, on second thoughts… GET THE HELL OUT.’_ Finally regaining my will and sense of control, I put up a mental block inside my head. No more intruding for that annoying brother of mine. Now, what was I thinking again…?

**...**

I let out a long, loud yawn once I pass the school gates at last, while stretching rather dramatically. The day is finally at an end. School had been as boring as always – we had the following lessons: Maths, History, and Literature Studies. Naturally, I wanted to fall asleep about half-way through History. And Literature Studies. Okay, and through Maths. I know I said I enjoyed school, but I never said I enjoyed the lessons. I just want to always have fun.

Rehearsals for the play were fun, though. We started to get more familiar with Miki’s script, and for this session, we stood up and worked out which movements would match best with all of our lines. Thankfully, the prince and princess do not have to kiss at this point in time. Miki said it would be better if we saved ‘the magic’ for on the stage, on the night of the perfected performance. Yeah, right… Magic, my ass. Anyway, despite it being fun, it had been exhausting after so many boring lessons previously cramped together.

I want to go home and just sleep for the rest of the day. But our friends are coming back with us until around 7pm, so we have a lot ahead of us. I also can’t forget about the dance I practiced with my brother. After how annoyed I got at him last night, I’m not sure if I even want to do it anymore… But after all, that is one of our only bonding moments as siblings. I wish Len was always kind and sensitive, just like he was during our practicing yesterday. But I suppose this is the hand we’ve been dealt. We’re twins. We have to be natural enemies, right?

Since home isn’t that far from school, my friends and I all walk back together. It takes us around twenty minutes to return home, so by now, it’s around 4:45pm or near that time. We should have enough time to open our presents, enjoy some birthday cake together, show off our dance, and then part ways until tomorrow. As we approach the front door, Len pushes his way forward as he is in charge of the house keys. Stupid parents… Always thought of Len as the most responsible sibling. I can be responsible, too. Hmph.

Our lively chatter dies down a little as Len finally unlocks the front door, and we all begin to pile into the house. When we enter, we each take off our shoes and set them down in the small entrance hallway. Len closes the door behind us all, and I decide to go up to our room, in order to retrieve our presents from the night before.

It only takes me a short while, and when I come back downstairs, I head towards the kitchen where the others said they’d wait. When I enter, only just managing to carry each present, I notice that a birthday cake has been set onto the table already. That’s right… Mother and Father planned their trip way before our birthday, so they really hadn’t had the time to bake a cake like they did each year. And this is what we’re stuck with. Some store-bought cake. I’d call it cheap crap, but knowing Mother, she bought it from some expensive store. At least it’ll taste semi-decent, if that is the case.

Len is holding a lighter ready, apparently. He’s also set out some plates for each of us. I guess he’s forgiven Miku in the end, which is a relief. I don’t want any of us to fight on our birthday. Well, I don’t want any of us to fight at all. So seeing this scene… makes me really grateful for my great friends. I’ll put my trust in Miku. That’s what friends are for.

With a bright smile on my face, I head towards the table and take my seat in the middle of Len and Meiko. I carefully place the presents down onto a free space on the table, avoiding the others’ plates. “Thanks for these presents, you guys.”

“Of course! I have no fear that my presents for you guys is the best, though,” Meiko proudly beams, puffing her chest out as she speaks.

I can’t help but giggle at her. I don’t doubt for a second that she got some sort of crazy present, or maybe something ridiculously expensive. Who knows with this unpredictable girl.

“Cake comes first, without a doubt,” Kaito says, grinning along with Meiko.

Ah, yes. Getting a closer look at the cake, it doesn’t look too bad. It’s covered in vanilla frosting, so it’s probably some sort of chocolate cake with hidden jam. It’s also nicely decorated, with a custom message from our parents. **Happy Birthday to our favourite babies.** Ah, they’re so sappy, damn it… But that is super cute. And this is a shame-free zone, so our friends comment on how cute that message is, too. To finish it off, Len sticks two simple number candles into the top of the cake: ‘1’ and ‘5’. Yeah, I don’t want to waste time pulling out fifteen individual candles, either.

Len flicks the lighter and sets the flames atop the candles. With that, our friends begin to chorus and sing the traditional Happy Birthday song to us, which may sound terrible from an outsider’s perspective, but it makes me grin widely in appreciation. Within a minute, the song is over, and it’s time for Len and I to blow out the candles. It’s silly, but I still like to make wishes on my birthday. I doubt Len wastes his time on something so childish… But I do it anyway, and hide my wish from Len.

‘ _I wish for my brother to be kind to me from now on. Even if it’s for just one day. It’s all I want.’_

In the end, it does get to me quite a lot. But it’s a pointless wish, I suppose.

Len and I begin to open our presents, and we get quite a variety of different, strange yet wonderful things. I get bits and pieces like the latest makeup products and small bits of jewellery – and even an old, kind of dusty but supposedly collectible book. Yeah, thanks Meiko, that’s exactly what I wanted. The boys feed Len’s manga addiction, and although the cover _looks_ appropriate, I can almost guarantee Piko has hidden away a filthy manga underneath a pretty cover. Yeah, Piko wasn’t surprised at all when SeeU found Len’s dirty manga stash, so that seems completely plausible.

Before we tuck into our cake, I catch my brother’s eyes and exchange glances with him. Essentially hinting that we should show off our performance now, rather than later. I hope this goes well, anyway. Len gives a light nod towards me, before speaking up.

“Guys, Rin and I have something we wanna show you. You guys remember when we told you about our dance classes, right?”

“Ooh, yeah! I remember! It sounded like soooo much fun,” Meiko responds the fastest, nodding enthusiastically. Although she probably has no idea what we’re going to show her.

“Yep. Well, we decided to practice something recently, and we wanna show off for the fun of it,” Len announces. I can see an excited smile light up his features. So, this is one thing in his life he’s passionate about, it seems. I’ll never be able to live down that embarrassment from all those years ago, but fuck it, it’s just our friends here.

“Oh, that sounds delightful…!” Miku claps her hands together in anticipation, smiling softly at us.

“I always wanted to take up dancing, but Mom kept telling me it wasn’t appropriate for a fifteen-year-old boy…” Piko mutters, appearing to be sad.

Kaito just stares at him blankly, and rightfully so. After a short while of being judgemental, he focuses on us again. “Uhh… Well, go ahead, Rin. I’m sure it’ll look great.”

For some reason, I can feel my cheeks grow a bit warm when Kaito flashes that sincere smile of his, and my heart skips a beat again when I hear his encouraging words. Just those words alone feel as though they’re enough to shatter my fear of performing… Ah, geez, no…! I mentally shake my head, wanting to focus entirely on the task at hand.

“Do you guys mind taking your plates into the living room? There’s a table in there, so it won’t get messy or anything. It’s just that our stereo is in there,” Len requests. And with that, our friends begin to pick up their plates of cake. I take mine as well, and we all begin to migrate into the living room. Once we’re there, we set our plates down on the coffee table near the TV, and our friends just plop themselves down onto the couch.

I follow Len over to the stereo, and for a short while, I try to push down my nerves. It’s only natural after not performing for so long. He messes around with the buttons and all, and before pressing the play button, he looks at me with a gentle smile. “You’ve got this, Rin. Okay? You don’t need to be scared anymore.”

His words catch me off guard, and that same pounding heart sensation returns. Maybe I’m just getting a bit more nervous. I take in a deep breath, before swallowing my fears down, and finally nodding in response. “Thanks, Len.” With that, he presses the button to play the music; a soft piano track begins to overflow from the stereo, in a spine-chilling, beautiful minor chord. Something traditional and perfect for an intimate dance, and I can hear the whispers of approval.

Len takes hold of my hand and guides me a few steps in front of the stereo. I just allow myself to be pulled along, realising I can’t back out anymore. He looks towards our friends with a nod, and then turns to focus on me entirely. I look up at him, suddenly hit with that same feeling of tension as yesterday. I try to gulp, but find that my mouth has become completely dry. My eyes sparkle and my lips are parted just as before, and my mind goes blank when Len rests his free hand onto my hip.

“Ready?” he quietly whispers to me, for confirmation.

Fuck it. Ready as I’ll ever be. I give a nod in response, and allow myself to be taken by Len’s beginning lead. We start to dance slowly, in time with that beautiful piano track, our movements as graceful as they had been when we were children. But naturally, being so close and being held this way by Len… feels much more intimate. There are a couple twirls out… Then I’m supposed to elegantly spin back into Len’s arms; we move back and forth together and add in a few other moves on the spot, just to perfect our original plan even more.

And before I know it, it’s over. I managed to survive those four minutes without freezing. The music fades out, and I’m left standing hand in hand with my brother. I let out a shaky breath, finally releasing all my pent-up tension. During that time, it had felt like time stood still… And we were the only ones in the room. I completely forgot about our friends being there, and I’m still staring into Len’s reassuring, trustworthy eyes for quite some time after we’re done. The sound of wild, genuine applause brings me back to my senses.

Giving an awkward light cough, I slowly pull my hands from Len’s warm ones, and take a step back. I turn on my heels to face my friends, and I smile while giving a modest bow. Len nods his head, not seeming to be too interested in gaining praise, and he turns back to switch the stereo off.

“Oh, my god! Rinny, Lenny, you were so great! I wish I could do that!” Meiko exclaims happily, in complete and utter awe of our sweet little dance. Was it really that good…?

“Th-That was… so beautiful…!” Piko sniffles, apparently brought to tears from the whole show. If not for his clear interest in girls, I’d totally conclude that Piko is _gay as fuck._ But perhaps he’s just a very passionate male after all.

“Wow… Rin, Len. That was so elegant, and the music was so full of emotion,” Miku says, offering some more praise.

I glance at Kaito, and it seems as though he’s at a loss for words. He then snaps out of it, shaking his head lightly. “Rin…” I raise a brow at this. …Wait. Why is he looking at me like that? With his eyes full of total admiration? And he only said my name. But it seems like he’s realised. “And Len… That really was great. Breath taking.”

When I glance back at my brother, I catch a slight glimpse of… Irritation? Oh geez, what’s gotten him so pissed off this time? I swear, no one has even said anything this time. All they did was praise us. If he’s mad at praise, I’m going to smack him across the head.

“Thank you, guys. I guess we never lost that talent after all, huh, Len?” I giggle, playfully nudging him with my elbow.

“Huh. Indeed,” Len simply says, giving a shrug as though he had been pulled from thought.

I roll my eyes instinctively at his air-headed behaviour, and move over to the couch to finally eat some cake. I plop myself down in between Miku and Piko, grabbing one of the two plates left behind on the table. I watch my brother as he grabs his own plate and carefully sets himself down on the edge of the couch, just beside Kaito. Okay, is it just me, or can I feel some kind of strange tension between my air-headed brother and Kaito? It’s like I just saw something hidden in their eyes when the two exchanged glances momentarily.

Eh… In the words of Len, maybe I’m just overreacting again.

…

The remaining time we have with our friends passes by rather quickly. We all mess around, playing fun games together after we finish our cake. We play truth or dare just like yesterday, but these questions and dares are a lot more our style. Crazy shit, like ‘I dare you to lick the window!’ and all that. And trivial truths, ones that are more light-hearted in nature, rather than Luka’s filthy, invasive ones. It really had been fun. But then our parents finally arrived home, and our friends took that as a hint to get moving.

Once we see our friends off, I immediately rush happily over to Mother and Father. It’s been a fun couple of days, but only now I realise how much I missed having my parents around. I grin brightly, rushing up to Mother first and giving her a big hug. While greeting our parents, Len stands opposite them obediently, as if waiting for their kind words or something. Once I get kisses from Father, I take a step back and stand at my brother’s side.

Only now, I can see how tired the two adults look. Aha, we aren’t the only ones to have lots of fun, then. Despite this, a tired smile is on Mother’s face. “I see that everything went well. I knew we should have trusted them more, dear,” she says, laughing softly at Father.

“Hmm, as always, you’re right, hun,” Father sighs, giving into his wife. They’re so sweet. They’ve been married for so long, yet still use those pet nicknames for each other. That’s true love… A love I hope to find, rather than drifting between a load of crushes. But at least Mother and Father are living proof that true love really exists. That’s why I’m still hopeful.

Since Len and I already had a light dinner, we dismiss ourselves to allow our parents a quiet meal together. They probably don’t want children to bug them while they’re all tired out. So, we take the initiative, and head up to our room. Once there, I flop down onto my bed and give a yawn. I’m feeling rather sleepy myself, after such an action-packed day. Rehearsals, dancing, playing games… Sure, it’s nothing compared to my parents’ trip. But it’s still a lot for a lazy young girl like me.

“Rin, you’re going to get your sweaty clothes all over your bed. Get changed,” Len says, scoffing arrogantly at me.

“Riiin, you’re going to get your sweaty clothes all over your beeeed,” I instantly repeat him in a mocking tone, one that sounds as annoying as possible. I roll my eyes, picking myself up from my bed. Why does he care so much anyway? Sheesh.

When our friends aren’t around, obviously, Len and I just change at the same time in our room. We turn our backs to each other, and don’t peek while taking clothes off. We’ve always done that – there’s no reason in particular why we do that, it’s just sort of always been a thing. So, it feels normal to us. Plus, it’s weird to want to look at your brother changing anyway, so it’s never been a big deal. Letting out a yawn, I grab a set of night clothes and begin to slide my skirt down without another thought.

“Rin! Oi, you dumbass, I haven’t turned around yet!!” Len’s loud yell stops me dead in my tracks, with my backside almost showing.

“A-Ah…! You… you filthy pervert, turn aroooound!” I scream defensively, immediately yanking my skirt back up.

“What! Who the hell are you calling a pervert? You’re the one who started to strip off when you KNEW I was still looking!” Len fires back, eager to push the blame onto me. Oh, not a chance in hell. He should have turned around as soon as he told me to change. So, he’s to blame.

“Are you trying to say I’d change on purpose in front of my brother, knowing he’s looking?” My face flares up in utter embarrassment at his absurd statement. “What the hell do you take me foooor?!”

After screaming at each other back and forth, neither of us taking the blame, we eventually give up and turn away from each other. Len is most definitely to blame, but it’s not like I can argue that point all night. So, I shut my mouth, but I won’t let that one go. After changing slowly in silence, we finally settle down in our individual beds. Len is the one to switch the bedroom light off – however, I flick on the lamp standing on my bedside table.

It’s a dull light, so it’s not enough to disturb us during the night. I’ve always had this light on every night, and Len has never questioned me about it. Giving a light sigh, I snuggle up under the covers. Just before I let my eyes slip shut, Len speaks up.

“Rin… Why on earth do you always have that annoying light switched on?” Ah, so there’s the question, in the end. I should have suspected it to come sooner or later. But honestly, is he that dense? Do I have to spell it out for him? I mean… Why else would a fifteen-year-old still leave a night lamp switched on?

“Figure it out yourself, idiot.”

I hear a mischievous cackle from my brother. That tells me he already knows. He just wants something to tease me about directly. “Oh, I’ve figured it out, don’t worry. Poor Rinny is scared of the dark, huh?”

I grit my teeth together. I won’t let his words get to me. That’s one of my only other weak points. My fear of crowds… and of the dark. I don’t know why I’m scared of the dark, actually. It seems like a fear of the unknown more than anything, the fear that I can’t see what’s in all that open space. “Len… Just tell me why you’re always flipping between moods…” I quietly sigh, with my back turned away from him. I can’t really look him in the eyes anymore.

“Eh? Didn’t I tell you it was nothing?” Len responds, in a confused tone. I can feel his eyes digging into my back. “Besides, I haven’t been in a sour mood anymore, so don’t try and guilt trip me or anything, kid.”

I lack the energy to lash out at him like I did before. Groaning quietly, I let my eyes slip shut due to exhaustion. “You’re so difficult…”

“And you’re so nosey,” he remarks, with a slight scoff. “Why do you assume there’s a reason?”

Well. He has a point. But I just figured these kinds of things always had a reason. “Alright, fine. You win.” I decide to just give up once more, knowing I’ll never get an answer from my mysterious brother. Maybe someday he’ll tell me. Or maybe he’ll just be a bitch for the rest of our lives. With those thoughts still lingering in my mind, silence falls, and I find myself drifting off to sleep rather easily.

I can’t tell if I’m entering the world of dreams or not… But I swear I can faintly hear some mumbling while my awareness fades out.

“…-ove me…”

It’s probably nothing.

…


	5. Love and Hate

**Chapter Five: Love and Hate**

…

[Len Kagamine’s P.O.V]

_The day I heard about Rin’s feelings being brutally rejected, something snapped deep inside me. Something pushed me to lose it. Perhaps it was because no one ever took my sister seriously. She only gained enough confidence to confess a few times, and each time, those brain-dead fools mocked her relentlessly. The teasing lasted two to three weeks at the most, but those days were filled with merciless bullying – they mocked her appearance, her behaviour, and even her grades. The number of things I had heard from those bullies ended up slowly killing both Rin and myself on the inside._

“ _Eh! Does Rin seriously think she can go out with someone like you?” Those kinds of remarks usually came from girls, when the boys shared the ‘hilarious’ news._

“ _She asked you out, too? Man, she must be pretty desperate. She asked me out just last month!”_

_Since they saw themselves as the ‘victims’ of Rin’s feelings, the few of them gathered around to laugh even harder and share their own experiences of being around her. One time, one of them even came up to me and asked me to ‘control my desperate sister’. I should have punched him in the face right then and there, but I knew Rin would only get mad at me._

_This was the first time she had confessed to another girl, anyway. That day was so much different – those previous bullies were tolerable, I suppose. But perhaps they were only tolerable because I didn’t shout at them. This time, I lost my sense of control, and unable to hold myself back, I threw myself at that evil witch Luka after hearing the disgusting things she said about my sister. I didn’t care if Rin’s sexuality was lesbian or bisexual, or even if she was confused. That was completely her choice. Yet, for Luka to have scoffed and look down on Rin’s fragile heart, and act as if she were a filthy human being… That, I could not forgive._

_When I found Rin in that mess by the lockers, I wanted to search for Luka right away. But Rin needed me more. So, I took her away from school, as the sun was beginning to set at this time. I could have just taken her home, I could have just ignored her and let her cry herself to sleep later. I did not do that. She had always thought I was heartless, and that I truly didn’t care. Honestly, when it all started with her first crush, I didn’t care. Then the bullying began, so I_ had _to care._

_Making sure Rin was holding onto the coat I had given her, I leaned down and held my hand out to her. She looked up at me with sparkling, yet heartbroken eyes, and she seemed hesitant at first. But soon, she trusted me to take care of her, and she gently pressed her fingers on top of mine. I wrapped my fingers around hers, tightening my grip on her so that she could feel safe. I helped her to her feet, and she slowly pulled her fingers from mine._

“ _So, what? Are we going home now?” she quietly asked, in an obvious bitter tone directed towards me._

_I simply shook my head in response, before digging my hands into my pocket once more. “Let’s go get some ice cream, or a milkshake. Heck, or whatever you feel like having. My treat.” When I looked at her, I saw her blink a couple times with a confused expression. “What?”_

“ _Heh…” Rin’s soft, sweet laughter came out at last. “You’re actually offering to buy me whatever I want.”_

_I cocked a brow, a teasing offended expression crossing my face. “Hey, I’m not that stingy, am I? It’s my duty to look after you while you’re sad, anyway.”_

“ _I mean, it’s not like it’s a big deal…” Rin muttered, averting her gaze, in clear embarrassment. She shouldn’t have to feel stupid or anything over her feelings. I was sure ice cream or whatever other sweet treat would fix that temporary low self-esteem._

“ _C’mon. Once we’re there, I can text Mom to let her know we’ll be late. I’ll say we’re with friends or something.” I urged her to start walking, and once I finished, she did just that. So, I began to follow after her, and we made our way out of school. I did my best at that point to suppress the burning fury in my heart – I suppressed the urge to go beat Luka up. I just wanted to make Rin happy._

_It took the two of us about five minutes to reach the closest bus-stop to the school. After that, we hopped on a bus into town, so we could search for the best possible ice cream parlour or something similar to that. The bus ride was quiet. Usually, some kids from school would probably be on this bus. However, it was quite late for any students to remain now. So, Rin and I sat next to each other, in complete silence, and surrounded by complete silence. It was rather tense, to say the least. She probably had a lot on her mind, and she probably wanted to say a lot. But she had put a block up; I couldn’t hear any of it._

_It then took fifteen minutes to travel into town. When we got off the bus, I was in charge of finding a decent place to eat for my sister. I did try to ask her where we should go, but apparently, she didn’t hear me, because there was no answer. I knew she was heartbroken and all, but man, sometimes she really was air-headed. Eventually, I found an ice cream parlour in the heart of the town – so I took her there._

_We grabbed a table, and the entire time, Rin’s eyes were distant. Only when we sat down together, she seemed to snap out of whatever was going through her mind. She looked up to me, an apologetic, slight smile pulling at her lips. “Well… Time to snap out of it…”_

_I sighed, giving a nonchalant shrug in response. Before doing anything, I pulled my phone from my school bag and began to write out a short text to Mother. She and Father weren’t extremely strict, but they always wanted to know if we were going to be late coming home from school. After a few moments of tapping away at my phone, I finally slid it back into my bag and focused on Rin. “So, what will you be having?”_

_She was already tapping lightly at her chin, in an indecisive manner. “Mm… Let’s share the biggest sundae they’ve got,” she finally said, nodding her head as if confirming her words to herself._

“ _Oh, you’re letting me share your special treat? How kind of you,” I teasingly responded, with a quiet laugh._

“ _Make sure to ask for extra cream. And… extra orange sauce…” She hesitantly added that last part on. I raised a brow at her unusual request, but then I remembered she had an almost unhealthy obsession with oranges. I meant ‘unhealthy’ in a completely different sense, though, considering oranges weren’t unhealthy at all…_

_I just gave a quick nod, and stood up from my chair. I loved bananas in particular, so I guess we were both weird in that sense. But I doubt she’d want bananas mixing with her precious orange, so I had to refrain. I ordered the biggest sundae they had; vanilla ice cream, a mountain of delicious whipped cream, chocolate sauce drizzled over, and also some orange sauce. The worker who served me gave me a strange look when I requested orange sauce, so I just kind of shrugged awkwardly, and she added it without saying a word._

_When I returned carrying that glorious bowl full of comfort food, I saw Rin’s eyes light up at long last. Her eyes were still a bit red and her cheeks were still flushed, but that gloomy, heartbroken sparkle faded away for now. It was replaced with an expression of pure delight, and when I set down the bowl and two spoons, she instantly made a grab for one of them. I couldn’t help but laugh._

“ _Mmm!” She hummed, clearly overwhelmed by the bliss of such amazing ice cream. We hadn’t been here before, but the prices were rather expensive, so it better be good. Either way, I didn’t care if it tasted good or bad. As long as Rin liked it, I was happy. She swallowed her first mouthful practically straight away, and she beamed at me. “Wooow… Len, thank you so much! I almost feel better already.”_

“ _That’s good,” I said, taking my spoon and digging out a smaller amount than Rin had. I was going to let her have the most until she was full – plus, I wasn’t all that keen on such a large amount of sugar in the first place._

_After a few minutes, Rin let out a quiet sigh out of nowhere. It seemed like the sugar rush and delight had passed so quickly. “Len? Is there something wrong with me?”_

_Cocking a brow, I swallowed the small bit of ice cream I had in my mouth, and was taken by surprise at her question. I set the spoon down, unsure about what sort of answer she was expecting. “What, do you think you aren’t cute enough or something?” Girls really were complicated sometimes._

_She shook her head. “It’s not that. It’s… how I ended up getting a crush on a girl,” she said, lowering her voice so that only I could hear. Like she was 100% ashamed of her sexuality._

“ _Huh? Then no, of course there’s nothing wrong with you,” I responded sincerely._

“ _She treated me like I was a freak.” A short, sour laugh escaped her lips, and I could tell she was reliving the moment over and over in her head. “Sorry, I think I’m just all over the place right now. Still… It would be nice if someone liked me for once. If someone took me on a date for once.”_

_Hearing those words was like a shot through the heart. They truly did pain me. My poor sister was never going to realise that I was-… “Don’t worry. It’ll happen sooner than you know it, I’m sure.”_

_Her eyes brightened up a bit as she heard my words of encouragement. With that, she began to eat some more ice cream, and would probably continue until she was going to burst. I didn’t mind; I wouldn’t scold her if she complained of a stomach-ache later. She deserved to, essentially, drown her sorrows today. But tomorrow, I wanted to snap her out of it. I was going to take matters into my own hands._

…

_The day after that, Rin tried to make an excuse so that she could avoid school. I didn’t allow that. I already told myself I’d be the one to snap her out of her slump. I didn’t know how I’d do it, or how long it would take me, but I swore to protect Rin at all times. Anyway, we somehow avoided Mother and Father noticing that something was off with Rin. I told her to just hang in there; it wouldn’t do any good if she went crying to Mother. No doubt, our Mother would either pull us out of school personally, or deal with the bullies personally. It was a risk we couldn’t take, in the end._

_That morning at school, I stood at my locker beside Rin. She was leaning against her own locker, which was a space away from mine; I was rummaging around inside, searching for things I needed today. We were also waiting by the lockers, so that we could walk to class with our friend Piko, whom we shared this morning’s first period with. But Piko usually ran late, so we had to frequently endure the presence of Luka and her three friends. Their lockers weren’t so far away from ours – Luka’s own was about two spaces from mine. Being so close to her nauseated me a lot more than usual this morning._

_Just as I was closing up my locker, I could hear Luka’s gossiping grow louder. It was clear they wanted us to hear, with their emphasis and volume. They were talking about Rin again. It seemed like she wanted to share the ‘hilarious news’ with her three friends first – or perhaps they were just re-capping yesterday’s events. Either way, I could feel that burning flame of anger grow stronger within me again. Her voice alone was enough to make me lose complete control._

_Tutting to myself, I closed my locker with a bit more force than I had intended. I glanced to my sister momentarily, wordlessly telling her I would stick up for her. Her expression showed a clear refusal, but it was too late. I turned, staring at Luka and then speaking. “Just when are you going to be done talking so much shit, Megurine?”_

_That alone caused the four girls to stop gossiping loudly; they each turned to stare at me in return, seemingly surprised that I had interrupted. Lily spoke in place of Luka, as if their leader had no business with us lower humans. “Ehh? This one has guts.~ I almost find it adorable…” She spoke in a false sweet tone, and as soon as she was done, she flipped it to a pissed-off, dark voice. “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to, Kagamine? Turn back around and mind your own business.”_

_I scoffed lightly, shaking my head at this pathetic display of bravery from the girls. “I didn’t ask you. I’m talking to Luka. Don’t speak out of turn; that’s not very obedient of a slave.”_

“ _S-Slave?!” Lily choked, appearing offended beyond belief._

“ _Are you saying I’m just using my dear friends? That’s very mean of you, Lenny…” Luka finally piped up, a fake pout pulling at her lips. Even though I knew she was using that irritating fluffy tone to get under my skin, I still couldn’t control myself. “I’ll stop gossiping once Rin learns being a lesbian is, simply put, degenerate.”_

_Fuck this pink-haired bitch._

_Since there was little space between us to begin with, it granted me an opportunity to move fast. I threw my hands forward, connecting almost instantly with Luka’s shoulders; I dug my fingers into her skin, and using all the force I could muster, I slammed her backwards against a locker with a fire of fury burning in my eyes. I gritted my teeth together, holding her tightly in place._

_Several shocked and worry-filled gasps followed as soon as I acted. Luka’s back connected hard with the locker, and there was no doubt I would leave a few bruises and other damage. She let out a yelp in fear, and in pain. But I didn’t care._

“ _Len…!” I could hear Rin’s pleading call. She wanted me to break through my heat of the moment rage, but I couldn’t._

“ _L-Let go of me, psycho…!” Luka choked out, gazing demandingly into my eyes._

_I tightened my grip on her shoulders, digging my fingernails deeper into her so I could firmly hold her in place. There weren’t many students at the lockers, but there certainly were quite a number of witnesses. Yet none of them jumped to defend this pink-haired girl. I narrowed my sharp glare right at her, and spoke in a hiss. “The only degenerate here is you. What the hell makes you think you’re so special? That you’re so above judgement? That you can just strut around, and do whatever the fuck you please!!” My tone eventually grew louder, and by the end of my rant, I was screaming right in her face. Without thinking, while continuing to unleash my temper on her, I shook her violently with my hands, slamming her back repeatedly against the locker with the same force I used to first push her. “Other people might put up with your bullshit, but I’m just about done with you acting like such a high and mighty bitch.”_

“ _Let go! Let go, you psycho! Auuugh, don’t just stand there- Someone help!” Luka’s cries fell on deaf ears. I had no will to turn and look at her ‘friends’, but they were probably hesitant to jump forward to defend the main bully. I also heard nothing from Rin. I didn’t want to frighten her, but I couldn’t stop now._

“ _No one forced you to like my sister back. But that doesn’t mean you have the right to mock her, talk behind her back, and no right to just laugh at her. And it’s not just my sister. It’s every other kid you see as a target, because you’re that fucking insecure!”_

_Luka was speechless as I relentlessly yelled in her face, and continued to push her around. I defended all those other kids she had bullied, and no one came to her aid. This only lasted for a few minutes at the very most, because someone eventually went to get a teacher. I was ripped forcefully from beating Luka, and sent away for a harsh punishment without anything being said to me. Another teacher took Luka to the nurse’s office._

_I didn’t bother to explain why I had lost control of myself. I took the blame, saying something like, ‘sure, I started it’. Even if I did explain that I was defending those who had been bullied, it still wouldn’t have lessened my punishment. Was all that worth it? Absolutely not. I felt ashamed afterwards for stooping to her level. It didn’t matter though. I was promptly expelled for two weeks, and was given a handful of ‘activities’ to complete to show that I had progressed and ‘learned from my mistakes’._

_A bullshit punishment, but a punishment nevertheless. My parents were naturally furious, as well. But I still refused to explain why I did it. Perhaps I wanted to truly protect Rin, so I took the blame at home, too. I gave them no real explanation, just a shrug of the shoulders, and for a while, I lost my parents’ trust and respect._

_Things blew over eventually, though. Once I was allowed to return to school, I learned that Luka had mysteriously transferred out of school. Her friends were miserable, and they began to take that pain and sadness out on me – they probably thought she transferred out because of me. I bore the brunt of that bullying; it was the least I could do. I didn’t lash out anymore, either. I was back to normal relatively quickly, but one thing was still eating away at me._

_I was most likely response for Luka transferring out of school. I beat her up rather harshly that day, and it was easy to assume she received a fair amount of minor injuries from that. Yet, Rin did not hate me for it. She was extremely disappointed in me for a while, but she had forgiven me after a few days. I’ve always been so conflicted. I wanted to protect Rin – even if it meant beating the crap out of those who bully her. But I also wanted her to just hate me. I thought that, maybe if I lost control of my anger so much and ended up using violence, that would cause her to hate me. But it didn’t._

_And ever since that day, my methods only got worse._

…

[Rin Kagamine’s P.O.V]

I’ve finally stopped having that same dream. At least for the time being. It seems as though I’ve scared it away from my subconscious, after being so disturbed by the similarities between it and the school play. It’s been precisely a week since we were first told of this play, and we’ve been rehearsing non-stop to get it right. I didn’t even have to convince everyone to work extra hard for my own selfish sake. But after becoming so invested in it, I’ve actually kind of overcome my fear of crowds. So, it’s a shame that we’ll be performing this within the next couple of days.

A few days ago, our drama club meetings migrated to the main assembly hall, where the large stage resides. And that’s where we’re all meeting right now; it’s Friday currently, and this is our afterschool rehearsal session. We’ve only just got started, and we’re waiting on Miki to show up. Practically right on cue, she can be seen outside the doors with another teacher. She seems to be pushing along a whole rail full of costumes, and she’s gotten some help.

The other teacher, who I don’t recognise, pushes the doors open for Miki. With a quick ‘thank you’ and ‘good luck’, the teacher moves off to presumably go to their own classroom. Miki looks rather exhausted, but she pushes the rail forward in front of the stage. She mentioned yesterday that one of her friends was working hard on making these costumes by hand. Looks like they’ve finally been delivered. They’re tightly packed into a plastic cover, but I can tell they’re going to be very impressive.

“Alright, everyone…!” Miki lets out a deep sigh, sounding relieved to catch a break. “Let’s all gather ‘round here.”

I hop off the stage with Meiko, since we had been messing around while waiting for the teacher to arrive. We stand together, and gather with everyone else as the teacher makes her announcement.

“Our costumes are finally ready! Isn’t this so exciting? Real costumes, and a real play after the weekend!” Miki excitedly says, her grin as bright as always. I can just see her inner child ready to burst. “Now, the measurements should be exact, but don’t worry if they’re just a bit too big. But let’s keep the magic of this play alive – we’ll get dressed up properly on the night!”

“Let’s just hope our costumes fit, then,” Kaito adds, letting out a laugh. This causes our group and Miki to giggle as well; it’s a fair point. But despite such a fair point being made, Miki stays strong and insists that we don’t ruin the magic.

“Well, we all know this play rather well. You’ve all done a wonderful job at memorising the script so quickly. I’m very proud! Especially of our new starters. They really do have a talent for acting that cannot be ignored,” Miki continues with her announcement, taking a moment to praise Luka, Lily, Gumi and SeeU. The four just nod modestly, giving a few words of thanks. I hate to admit it, but they did learn this pretty fast. And they aren’t amateur actors at all, surprisingly. I guess even stuck up bullies have hidden talents, huh?

Once Miki hands out a few more words of praise to others playing leading roles, she then dismisses us and allows us to use this free time to talk or rehearse some more. Everyone goes off into their own little groups, so I wander over to my brother, since he’s alone as well. I set myself down on one of the chairs that’s been pre-placed, giving a smile to Len.

“Ah, so here’s the leading lady,” he says, looking at me with a teasing smirk. “Looking forward to this, princess?”

I scoff quietly at my brother’s typical annoying behaviour. “Eh, yeah. I suppose so. I don’t feel nervous about crowds right now, but that might change on the night of the performance,” I respond truthfully, before giving a shrug.

“You’ll be fine, kiddo,” Len snickers as a response, patting my head once like I’m a dog again. I simply raise a brow with a ‘seriously?’ sort of expression on my face. He pulls his hand away, and speaks up again. “Well, anyway… You’re okay with that whole kiss thing, too?”

Ah, I knew he’d act weird about that part sooner or later. I fold my arms over my chest, using this as an opportunity to mock him, like he mocked me. “Hmmm, what’s this? Does poor Lenny not want his sister kissing anyone? I know you want to protect me from life itself forever, but seriously…” I end up complaining. I’m surprised this is even a conversation between us siblings in the first place.

Len lets out a laugh, though. He responds calmly. “You think too highly of me. I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable with it. I mean, it’s Kaito. I just thought you’d find it weird to kiss a friend.”

Even though he acts like he’s looking out for my own comfort, something subtly tells me that’s not quite his real reasoning. “Thanks for the concern, but not really. I might as well take this opportunity to get my first kiss, right?” I treat it as if it was a joke, playfully sticking my tongue out and all. But when I take a look at my brother to see if he’s laughing too, I realise his expression is still stone cold. Geez…

“Hey, your first kiss is supposed to be something precious, you know,” Len says, his tone becoming rather serious now. This leaves an expression of confusion on my face. “You shouldn’t treat it as an opportunity to grab, but as something to wait patiently for and really appreciate it.”

Even though I know he’s being serious, my instinctive reaction is to still treat it like a joke. I let out a giggle, probably slightly filled with concern, and ask him what he’s playing at. “What’s this all of a sudden? Oi, you know I won’t ask Miss Miki to change the script this late, right? Sorry, bro, but there’s nothing that can be done about it.”

Len narrows his eyes as he still connects his gaze with mine. He’s become ice cold again. I can’t quite understand why he’s being this serious over something so small. First kisses aren’t that important, right? Sure, it’s something to look back on as a memory when you’re older, but there are plenty more events in your life that are meant to be treasured. What if your third kiss is the best kiss in your life? Does that mean it’s still worse than your first? “I just don’t think you should waste it on Kaito, of all people.”

“…What?” I can barely raise my voice to an audible level. That sudden jealousy. That dark tone, as if he’s some sort of villain who’s giving me a veiled threat. “Len, seriously… Where is all this coming from?”

Len lets out a bitter ‘tsk’ noise, and he’s shaking his head as if the answer should be obvious. It’s like he’s mocking me for being oblivious or something. “Didn’t you see the way he looked at you just yesterday? And the way he spoke to you.”

Now that he mentions it, Kaito did act a little strange yesterday. Yeah… That’s right, it was after Len and I had finished up our dance. Kaito gave me this intense stare, like he was awestruck by me and only me. But even so… “Then, what’s the problem? If Kaito likes me, then-”

“He _doesn’t_ like you!” Len cuts my words off as I’m talking, in a loud voice. It catches me completely off guard, and I’m left with my jaw hanging slightly; my eyes are wide in surprise, too. “You’re still being fooled after all this time. He can’t possibly like you for anything other than your appearance. He barely knows the real you. You’ll only end up heartbroken again, and it’ll just hurt twice as much because of Luka being here.”

Maybe Len’s harsh words are true… But still, I’m stunned into silence. Those words really are crushing me right now. I can feel the build-up of tears in my once bright, hopeful eyes. I close my mouth, gulping down my shock to try and argue back. “B-But… Then, we can get to know each other more…” In the end, I can only give into my selfish desires, driven by my loneliness and desperation for affection. I’m hoping so hard that Kaito and I might be able to have a chance.

“Right. And he’ll string you along for… how long? Weeks? Months? Tch. You should know how desperate he is for a girl right now; he’ll do and say anything to hook them. Then once he’s had his fill, he’ll ditch you and search for a new experience.” Len’s tone has no emotion in it, but at the same time, it still sounds like he’s mad. Not mad at Kaito either – mad at me. I don’t know the reason why, though, of course.

I shake my head, deciding to be ignorant to my brother’s pessimism. That’s all it is. Or maybe he’s just sour that a boy has finally taken interest in me, and that he’ll be taking me away from quality sibling time. If that’s the real reason, then I’ll just say it. “You’re so fucking stupid…”

Len appears to be shocked after hearing my words. Yeah, now it’s your turn to be shocked. I don’t know _how_ he can act so surprised after all that bullshit he just spouted to me. After he nearly caused me to lose it and start crying in front of everyone. This probably just looks like a friendly sibling chat to the others, if they glance over, anyway.

“We’re not kids anymore. We don’t have all the time in the world together anymore. I’m sorry if you feel threatened by someone finally liking me, but you can’t have me to yourself, okay?” I just say it bluntly, not sugar-coating it for him, so that he understands exactly what point I’m making. “…You just can’t accept that someone truly likes me, can you?” Those words on my mind overflow from my mouth like venom before I can stop myself.

“Why would you-…”

I let out a sigh. I can’t go back. Not after all the times Len has said countless rude things to me without a trace of guilt. “You always thought I’d be unlikeable. That anyone dating me is only doing it out of pity. Well… I’m going to prove you wrong…!”

“No, Rin. I never once said that, I’m just-!”

“Enough,” I interrupt him this time, not wanting to hear any of his excuses. Now that I’m pissed off at him, he wants to flip his attitude and crawl up to me. I’m going to put my foot down for once. I’m done listening to his excuses – I’m done dealing with his constant attitude flips without explanation. Unless he gives me a full reason for why he acts this way, I’m not going to talk to him anymore. Pulling my eyes from Len’s, I pick myself up from the seat beside him, and walk away without another word.

As I cruelly walk away from my brother, not even letting him know I’m done with him… I can’t help but feel guilt tug at my heart. I try to shake it off, convincing myself that if the roles are reversed, Len wouldn’t feel that guilt. It’s going to be tough to cut myself off from my own brother, but I need to be strong.

Taking in a breath to regain my composure and gain some confidence, I walk as casually as I can over to where Kaito and Piko are standing. When I approach, it seems as though they’re rehearsing a scene from the play. I give a nervous smile, and awkwardly interrupt. “Heeey, guys. Hope I’m not interrupting?”

The boys pull their eyes from their scripts, and break character to greet me. Kaito smiles softly at me, before answering. “No, of course not. Piko and I were just seriously dramatizing the scene where the prince gets stabbed.”

“Kaito finally let me play the princess, Rin! Sorry, but it looks like you’re out of the competition now. He’s mine~” Piko announces, claiming Kaito as his own. He grabs hold of Kaito’s arm, hugging him close.

Ah, Piko… He’s definitely not gay, but he’s definitely _not_ straight either. I feel like this is a huge moment of discovery. But, anyway, I have more important things to deal with. “Well, I hate to steal away your prince again, but… Could I talk to him in private?” I ask Piko for permission rather than Kaito, due to the current situation they’re both in.

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to ask him. I’m all ears, my princess,” Kaito smoothly interrupts, sending me a wink that shoots an arrow through my heart. Fuck… My heart. I’m beginning to realise I may have a _tiny_ bit of a crush on my friend.

Piko sticks his tongue out at me in a huff, and reluctantly releases Kaito’s arm. “Fine. I’ll go see Gumi. Oh, Gumi, my looove!”

“Aw, jesus- Piko, get lost, damn it!”

Watching that love-struck idiot hurry over to one of Luka’s cronies is kind of funny, but kind of sickening. Oh well, it’s his funeral. Giggling lightly, I turn my head back to face Kaito. He’s grinning in curiosity at me, so I guess this is it. I have to be the one to ask. I can’t be afraid of facing rejection anymore. Ah, but what if I…?

“What’s up, Rin?”

I try to gulp to push down my nerves, but my mouth has gone dry. Ah, typical. I gaze up at him, speechless for a short while. I take in every detail of his appearance; I hadn’t truly done so until now. He’s pretty damn tall, for a start. I can’t believe I didn’t notice how short I am in comparison to him. His short blue hair is kind of messy today, but in a cute way. And his lighter blue eyes are almost mesmerising…

“Well, uh, it’s nothing too important. I just wanted to know if… if you’d like to go out on Saturday? Wah, n-not as a date or anything…! Just, just something as friends!” As soon as I phrase my first question wrong, I immediately flip out and lose my cool, desperately trying to reaffirm that I only see it as a friendly outing.

But Kaito gives a soft chuckle. The very sound of it makes my heart melt… And my nerves fade, as well. “A date? I never thought you’d ask.”

Wait. WAIT. Did I hear that right? Kaito _actually_ wanted me to ask him out on a _DATE?_ Take that, Len! You pessimistic son of a bitch!

I try to contain my excitement. My grin grows rather wide, and I’m about to burst. I can barely believe it. For the first time in my life, the one I’m asking out isn’t laughing at me or mocking me. They’re accepting…! I resist the urge to throw my arms around him and squeeze him tight in appreciation. I hold back, and instead speak as calmly as I can manage. “Th-Then, let’s get lunch together or something…!”

Now that I’m planning a real date, I realise I have no idea what it is that couples do when they go on dates. So, perhaps out of my undeniable gluttony, I suggest we grab lunch together this weekend. And that idea doesn’t get laughed at either. Kaito nods along with me, and then also suggests that we go to the park after lunch. It sounds so perfect. I really don’t care where we go, as long as it’s a real date.

And so, it’s settled. My very first real date.

...


	6. A Day To Remember

**Chapter Six: A Day to Remember**

…

A soft, sleepy yawn passes my lips on that fateful Saturday morning. I’m awoken by my internal alarm clock, bright and early at 9am. My eyelids flutter for a moment or so, before I fully open my eyes. I roll over onto my side, stretching my arms and legs out lazily in front of me. I’m not used to being awake this early on a weekend, but I haven’t forgotten why I subconsciously programmed myself into getting up at this time. Today marks the day of my very first date – with someone I hadn’t even considered getting this close to previously. Yet, fate works in mysterious ways. It’s almost as if that very weird dream itself has drawn Kaito and I together.

After rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I slide out from under the warm bedcovers. I momentarily glance over to my brother, who’s still fast asleep. I’m reminded of our rather abrupt fight yesterday, and it saddens me a little to remember, but I stay strong as always. Besides, I can’t worry about my brother while I’m out on a date.

The first thing I do to prepare is hop in the shower. I freshened up a couple days ago for school, but this is an important event. I can’t look unclean, not one bit. It’s funny how I never cared about those things before, but I don’t want to mess up today at all. So, I spend a few minutes searching through my room for a cute outfit that Kaito hasn’t seen yet. And then, I make my way towards the bathroom. Once the warmth of the water hits me and runs down my body, I take some time to reflect and push away any fears before the events of today arrive.

I spend a good fifteen minutes in the shower, making sure no part is left unwashed, and soon I find myself drying myself off with a towel from head-to-toe. I don’t bother to blow-dry my hair; it’s short, and it seems like today is sunny. Once I’ve thoroughly dried myself, I fold the towel up and toss it into the laundry basket sitting on the floor – then, I pull on my fresh clothes for today. I’ve kept my outfit relatively simple, but hopefully cute enough to impress Kaito. A dark-pink, long-sleeved blouse, which runs down to slightly cover the pair of black shorts on my legs. There’s even a small, cute little bow in the middle of the blouse. And I haven’t forgot the signature white bow and clips in my hair.

After observing my appearance in the mirror, I give a confident nod to my reflection. I twirl around from the mirror to the door, like an excited little kid who’s getting something they want, and strut back towards my bedroom. Humming softly to myself, without even thinking I might disturb my brother, I walk towards my bed with a light skip in my step. I feel obedient enough for once to make my own bed in a neat manner, before moving to my bedside table. I grab hold of my phone and slide it into my pocket for now.

I realise it’s still rather early – probably too early to be awake. Kaito and I arranged to meet up at around 11:30am, in the heart of the town. He said he’d wait by one of those popular fast food restaurants; of course, we’re not _actually_ getting lunch there. After putting my phone into my pocket, I turn around to look at my brother again. But this time, I’m met with his open eyes. I raise a brow, realising he’s been awake for at least five minutes by now. He’s lying on his side, looking right at me. That same tension that always seems to pop up when we’re alone creeps up again.

I send him a look which tells him I’m still annoyed and don’t want to talk. But obviously, that doesn’t stop my persistent, annoying brother. “Is that a new outfit?”

Ah, I see. He’s trying to butter me up, giving me compliments in hopes it’ll make me forgive him. Pfft. How irritating and sly. “Maybe it is. Or maybe you just didn’t pay enough attention.”

“…you’re right. I only wanted you to myself.” He says those words out of nowhere. Talk about completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. Ugh. Even so, just hearing that is both a relief and an even bigger pain in the ass. “I’m so selfish and detestable.” Len pulls himself up from lying on his side, and instead shuffles in his bed to sit up.

“Geez, ya think?” I let out a heavy sigh, mocking him. At least he’s finally seeing the light. But I can’t forgive him with this.

“Rin… Don’t go on this date today. I don’t want you to be taken away from me.” He speaks in a selfish, yet saddened tone. He practically begs me to stay in today, but even with those innocent puppy dog eyes, I can’t soften up.

I roll my eyes, walking over to his bed and kneeling in front of him. “I’m not going to be taken away from you, idiot,” I say this after kneeling, in a tone to try and lighten the serious mood. When I speak, I pull myself up and plop myself onto the edge of my brother’s bed, making eye contact once more.

“You don’t understand, do you…?” Len softly asks, a hint of emotion in that whisper of his. It’s like he’s desperate to get me to understand something, even though he’s not explaining what that something is. He’s so confusing, damn it.

Even so, sensing that this is a serious conversation, my joking, light-hearted smile melts away. I lightly shake my head, and wordlessly ask him to explain what he means. Please, Len. Tell me something. Anything. Just to break the mysterious barrier that separates us siblings.

“I… ugh…” He scoffs after trying to speak, and it’s clear how reluctant he feels. “I just want you to myself, Rin.” He uses as little words as possible… And suddenly, I can feel a warmth on top of my hand. My eyes grow wide in surprise as I realise… I slowly trail my glance down to where I rested my hand, and I can see Len’s palm covering mine over.

For some reason, my heart begins to pound a bit faster in my chest, and my chest itself grows tighter. My cheeks become lightly stained pink in what can only be described as embarrassment and nervousness. I’m unable to take my eyes off Len’s hand on top of mine. The tension is almost unbearable. When I finally trail my eyes back up, and connect gazes with my brother, he’s already looking into me deeply. What… What the hell is this…? It feels almost as though this shouldn’t be happening. A nagging feeling tells me this is wrong, forbidden, and there’s so much more to this situation than meets the eye.

Listening to my subconscious, I slowly retract my hand from under Len’s, yet I’m unable to take my eyes from his. “Len…?”

For the first time in a while, my brother gives me a genuine, warm smile. “…sorry. I’m just worrying as your brother.” I have no idea why, but I still feel empty even after hearing his explanation. It still feels like I need the full truth; like something is still missing.

Despite this, I can’t go on like this. I still want to know why he constantly flips his attitude around me. And so, giving a deep sigh, I pull myself up from the edge of Len’s bed and turn to face the bedroom door. “I’ll need more than that…” I quietly say, unable to look him in the eyes. Without waiting for a response, I hurry myself out of the bedroom. It pains me so much to distance myself from my own brother. But it’s going to be this way for a while, I imagine, until he finally gets the hint and tells me everything.

When I make my way downstairs, and into the kitchen, I’m greeted by both Mother and Father. Looks like I’m not the only one who’s awake so early. I suppose they’ll be off to work soon. And as soon as Mother sees my outfit, she begins to fuss over me. “Ooh, sweetheart, you look so nice! Don’t tell me you’ve got a date?”

“A-Ah…” I choke, caught off guard by Mother’s straightforward question. I hesitate to respond, glancing to Father who is sipping at a cup of coffee. I can say ‘yes’ and make Mother happy, but at the same time, Father will probably want to ‘pay a visit’ to Kaito beforehand. “N-No, no! Don’t be silly, Mom. I’m just going out with, uh… M-Meiko…”

She raises a brow, probably not at all convinced due to my stuttering. It’s not like I can control something like that. “Mmhm, I see. And when can we expect you back home?”

“Uhh… P-Probably… around 3 or 4pm?” I nervously rub at the back of my head, having no clue how late Kaito and I will stay out.

“Rin, if that boy lays one finger on you, I’ll make sure he can’t use his hands again,” Father pipes up, in a serious tone.

This only makes me feel even more nervous. I knew he didn’t buy it…! I begin to laugh rather hysterically, treating the situation as if it was a joke. “E-Eh—Wh-What boy? I said, don’t be-…” My words trail off as I notice Father blankly staring at me; from the corner of my eye, I can see Mother frantically shaking her head at me. Oops. I just talked back to Father. “R-Right…” I hang my head low for a second, sighing in defeat.

“Good girl,” Father beams brightly again, his mood flipping like a light-switch. So, that’s where Len gets it from. “Dear, would you mind starting breakfast?” He looks to Mother with a softer expression, and though I would usually want to gag from how they stare lovingly at each other, I can’t do that today. Mother nods at Father, and she begins to prepare some ingredients for breakfast.

“Sooo, you’re, uh… at work today, Dad?” I move myself over to a free seat at the kitchen table, casually propping my elbows up and resting my palms against my cheeks.

“That’s right. It seems like they need an extra pair of hands during the morning shift,” Father responds, in that typical hard-worker voice. Like, far too seriously. I suppose I can understand his approach to work, considering he works at some hospital in town. But still, can’t he lighten up just a little bit? “Anyway. You understand I mean well, don’t you, Rin? I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”

I let out a sigh, feeling a similar lecture to Len’s coming on. Something like, ‘dates are meant to be special’ and ‘you can’t rush into it’ and all that crap. To cut him short, I simply nod and reassure him. “I’ve known the guy for a long time, Dad. Honestly, we’re just going out as friends.” Ugh, am I _seriously_ having this conversation with my father, of all people? I wish parents would learn to butt out once in a while.

A few moments later, after Mother switches the stove on, she turns to look over her shoulder. “Rin, sweetheart, could you go wake your brother up? I’m making eggs and bacon!” She smiles with an excited sparkle in her eyes. She wants the whole family here, it seems. Geez, of all days, she has to pick today as a family bonding day, or whatever the heck this is.

…

After sitting through a painfully awkward breakfast with my family, I’m relieved when it’s time for me to leave and meet Kaito. The entire time Mother asked me about my date, such as where I’m going, and all those typical questions, Len looked completely miserable. I manage to make my way out of that uncomfortable situation, a few minutes after 11am. I take in a breath of the fresh summer air, ridding myself of all that tension and embarrassment.

I take a slow walk towards the bus stop, which isn’t far away from home. I admire my surroundings as I pass – though they’re so familiar, since I walk by each day, today the scenery feels refreshing. The bright sun beams down, warming my skin, and the scent of freshly cut grass – which was once awful to me – is surprisingly pleasant. I lightly clutch the bag hanging from my shoulder, feeling it bounce up and down ever so slightly while I skip along.

The bus arrives on time for once. Whenever I take the bus on any other weekend, to meet with Meiko or Miku, it’s always 5-10 minutes late. Perhaps the drivers tightened their schedule, but on this day, it feels as though fate is giving me a helping hand. I take my seat on the bus, somewhere near the front, since the back is always full of noisy children and their parents. The children’s chatter doesn’t irritate me; nothing can ruin my mood. Or so I desperately hope.

Finally, the bus pulls into the stop just in the centre of town. I’m one of the first passengers to get off, and I feel kind enough to say a polite ‘thank you’ to the driver. Once I’m in town, I glance around momentarily to remember exactly where the meeting point is. It only takes a couple of moments, and then I begin to walk straight ahead. I end up approaching the meeting point at around 11:20am, or perhaps a few minutes later than that. When I catch a glimpse of blue, I start to feel nervous. It only just hits me that this is a _very real date._

Gulping lightly, I push myself towards the meeting point. And then I finally lock eyes with Kaito. I wonder how long he’s been here? Anyway, he looks pretty excited to see me – but once our eyes connect, I can sense a hint of nervousness within him, too. I give a shy smile, tightening my grip on my bag. “Hey…”

Kaito seems to relax a bit once I greet him. “Hey. Wow, Rin… You look, uh, super cute.” He chuckles softly, appearing to be almost stunned by my outfit. I knew it’d be a good idea to wear something new. When I quickly take in Kaito’s appearance, he’s in mainly casual clothes. Ones I’ve seen before, but I’m not complaining. He looks extra good today, even if he’s only wearing a plain shirt and jeans.

“S-Super cute, huh? You look… kinda cute yourself,” I respond, speaking in a quiet voice out of embarrassment. I take in a deep breath. Come on, I can do this. It’s just Kaito. I gently bite down onto my lower lip, lowering my glance; I can’t stand to look right in his eyes with this tension between us.

“Aw, you flatter me. I look as plain as ever,” Kaito laughs, and when I peek up, I can see that he’s rubbing at the back of his head, acting modest. “So… Where did you feel like getting lunch?” Thank god he finally asks.

“Ah… Well, there’s this café that Meiko always makes me go to,” I begin to respond, laughing slightly at all the memories she and I shared there. I figure it’d be best if we went to somewhere familiar for today. “It’s really good. It serves all kinds of food, so you can get practically anything you want!”

“No need to sell it any more than that. You had me at ‘it’s really good’,” Kaito says, grinning in a teasing manner. …Damn it. I started to ramble nervously just then, didn’t I? Stupid Rin, stay focused on your date-! “Well, let’s go. Lead the way, princess.” When he says the same nickname as yesterday, and winks in the exact same heart-melting manner, I swear I feel my heart stop for a second. I almost forget to breathe, never mind trying to walk.

Snapping out of my love-struck state, frantically shaking my head like an idiot in front of him, I quickly begin to lead the way to this café. If we’re walking from this particular fast food restaurant, it shouldn’t take more than five minutes to get there. Once we’re walking together, silence falls between us. This gives me an opportunity to compose myself, and take in a few subtle deep breaths. At least it’s not completely silent – there are many people walking throughout town already, and there are a lot of different conversations. Not a single one matters to me; I can barely hear their voices, anyway. I have enough on my mind.

Breaking the tension and breathing out almost too heavily, I announce that we’re approaching the café. “Oh, look, here it is.” I speak as casually as possible, trying not to let my lack of confidence show any longer.

Kaito gives a nod, and he steps forward to open the door for me and let me enter first. Once we’re both inside the café, I take us to a table near the window – for a view of the outside world, of course. I have fond memories of this place, since Meiko was the one to take me here first. It’s kind of small inside, but it has an old-fashioned feeling to it, with dark walls and beautifully decorated display counters. The smell of all the different baked goods has to be my favourite part of coming here. It feels nice to share this experience with someone else.

There is a menu set up on the table, and I let Kaito flip through it first, since I already know most of the food that’s sold here. So far, I’m enjoying our time together, even though we haven’t been out for more than half an hour yet. I’m reminded of what my brother said to me yesterday. About the fact that Kaito doesn’t really know me. What he said is right – but today, I want to change that.

My train of thought is interrupted by Kaito eventually deciding what he wants to order. “Mm, all of this looks delicious. But I might just keep it healthy and get a salad. I’ve been in the mood for something like that for a while, anyway.” God… Even when he’s talking about freakin’ salad, he’s so interesting.

I nod attentively, before answering rather indecisively. “Mmhm, sounds good. I might just get some sort of sandwich, I guess.” Truthfully, I always end up spending at least ten minutes tearing my hair out over what I should order, whenever I come here. I mean, how am I supposed to choose _one_ thing from so many delicious things? I’m sure Kaito’s already aware of this habit, but I don’t want to make him wait forever.

“Ah, sounds good. Here, how about this? I’ll buy your lunch for you. Think of this as my treat,” Kaito offers, giving a smile. I open my mouth to refuse, since he shouldn’t have to do something so generous on our first date. But… “And I know, you’re about to refuse. But don’t worry. I don’t mind doing this at all.”

“O-Oh…” I mumble, awkwardly rubbing my cheek with one finger. He really isn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer, is he? “W-Well, as long as you’re sure.”

“Mhm!” Kaito grins brightly, nodding once to confirm his words. “So, what kind of sandwich were you thinking of having?”

Oh, no. That painful question. Practically almost sweating from nerves, and screaming at myself internally to ‘just choose!!’, I fall silent for the longest time. Ham and cheese? No, wait… Tuna and cucumber? No, wait…! Chicken salad, final answer! Nooo, wait…!

Almost cracking under pressure and breaking down in frustrated, indecisive tears, I let out a shout in defeat. “I don’t knoooowww!”

…

Kaito and I enjoy a peaceful lunch together. Apart from the _slight_ disruption from my inability to make a simple decision, everything goes smoothly. I decided in the end to order the same thing as Kaito – a simple salad, with bits of chicken in it. Halfway through my lunch, I find myself regretting my decision, and feel guilty for leaving behind the other delicious food – but I mentally slap myself and get a grip. The two of us make small talk during our meal, but it’s nothing significant.

I let out a content sigh once I finish my food. I’ve never tried the salad from here; it ends up tasting pretty great. Surprisingly, I’m a slow eater, so I end up finishing a little while after Kaito. He waits patiently for me, watching the world outside pass by from the other side of the window. He must be daydreaming, because he doesn’t quite notice when I say I’ve finished.

I turn to look out the window with him. The view is nothing extraordinarily brilliant; it’s just a crowd full of different people passing by. “So, you enjoy the view here?”

“Hmm…?” Kaito mumbles in slight confusion, snapping out of his daydream or thoughts, and blinks twice before turning his eyes to me. “Ah, the view? I wasn’t looking, really. I just had some things on my mind.”

“Hmm, I see, I see.” I pull my eyes from the window, and turn to face Kaito again, while leaning back in my chair. “Feel like sharing?”

“Ahh, well, it’s nothing too important. I’m just… grateful.” He says those words sincerely, a genuine bright expression crossing his face. “I’ve wanted this day to come for quite a while. And now, here we are…”

Wow. It seems like Kaito has liked me for longer than I could tell. I couldn’t pick up on the signs about a month ago; only recently I noticed, after he became more obvious with his admiration of me. It really is sweet. It makes me feel happy, knowing someone finally feels something for me. “Well, I… I don’t really know what to say,” I admit, in an honest tone. “I kind of noticed that something was different. And it really made me feel special. So, I just, uh… thought we should give it a try.”

Now that I think about it, the way I asked Kaito out had been rather unexpected and out of nowhere. I hope he doesn’t think I’m just pitying him or anything. I just want to experience the feeling of being appreciated, and have a good time – and in return, I’ll give him that same appreciation and affection. ‘ _Shit… I’m being selfish, aren’t I? I don’t even know if I have an actual crush on him… No, I can’t think like that…’_ My happy thoughts are now plagued with those of guilt and anger at myself. There’s no need to worry though, is there? As long as I start to like him, it’ll be okay.

“I really am glad,” Kaito softly says, and he seems to gaze almost lovingly right into my sparkling eyes. He really is so sweet. I’m sure I’ll end up slowly falling for him, after we spend more time together. “So… Should we head over to the park now?”

I almost forgot that’s our next stop. I give a nod in response, and regaining my excitement, I quickly stand up from my chair. We’ve probably spent around half an hour in this café by now, so we’ll probably be at the park for a little longer than that. My nerves have melted away completely though; I’m hoping we’ll get much more time than half an hour at some park.

The biggest park in town is roughly a ten-minute walk from the café. As we walk through the streets, we end up talking more than we did before. It seems as though we’re both completely at ease with each other now – it’s like we really are just two friends out on a fun trip. I don’t know what I was so worried about earlier. I realise why Kaito is one of my good friends in the first place; we talk about common interests, and it turns out we both like a lot of the same things. This goes on for a while – I’m not sure how long, since I lost track of time altogether. It might have been fifteen minutes, or maybe even half an hour. All I know is, we’ve already been talking for what feels like forever.

“No waaay!” I laugh out in disbelief of what he just told me. We’re in a section of the park that’s covered in shadows from the tall trees above, taking a slow stroll along one of the paths. We seem to be the only ones here, which makes this date feel even more perfect. In this almost secluded, private section for just the two of us, the scent of the surrounding flowers is rather noticeable but very pleasant.

“Yes way. I can’t believe no one else does it.”

“Seriously!” Kaito had just informed me that he enjoys orange sauce poured over his ice cream from time to time. He says it’s one of his favourite, strange guilty pleasures. “I thought I was the only one who did that.”

“I thought the same thing,” he chuckles, seeming genuinely shocked along with me. “I can’t believe it isn’t more widely appreciated. It tastes especially good with-”

“-with chocolate!” I finish his sentence, as though I just predicted what he’s about to say. I mean, that’s the only possible, weirdest combo. And it seems as though I’m right, because after he blinks at me with a blank expression, he bursts out into giggles with me.

“You do that, too? Ah, no way…!” It’s his turn to speak in disbelief, and finally, he lets out a deep sigh once he’s done laughing. “We really are weird, aren’t we?”

“Oh, absolutely,” I say, giving a nod in agreement. “But that’s why we gotta stick together.” I teasingly jab my elbow into Kaito’s side, snickering quietly.

“Yeah, you got that right.” A few moments later, we see a bench coming into view, so we decide to take a short break from walking. When we approach, we both set ourselves down and sigh in unison. “I can’t remember the last time I experienced so much excitement in one day.”

“Mm, me too,” I giggle, answering in agreement.

“I hope this isn’t too forward, but we should definitely do this again. I mean… another day, another activity together,” Kaito suggests. When I look at his face, there’s no way I can say no.

“Yeah! Mm, I don’t think I can do Sunday. But… Hmm.” My words trail off as I try to think of when would be best to plan our next date. I quietly hum thoughtfully to myself, tapping lightly at my chin with a finger. “Oh! How about Monday, after we’ve finished the school play? I could go around to your house for dinner, maybe.” I hope that isn’t too forward either, actually. “Oh, but… you don’t have to introduce me as a date or anything. Just call it inviting a friend over.”

Kaito shakes his head, a saddened smile pulling at his lips. “No, that’ll be okay. My dad is at work pretty much all day and all night, so it’ll be just the two of us. But hopefully you don’t mind that.”

“Nope, that’s okay,” I say, giving a shrug. It’s just dinner, after all. We could even watch a film or play some games after we’ve had food. Now that I think about it, and especially after he mentions it, I don’t know much about Kaito’s life at home. I think I remember him mentioning a couple times in the past that his mother isn’t around, but of course, I never asked for details. He seemed to be rather apathetic when talking about her though, so perhaps she isn’t deceased, but she ran away or something. Either way, it has nothing to do with me, so I remain silent regarding his family.

“Great. Anyway, we shouldn’t end our fun here. How about we go watch the ducks? Or maybe, go over to the playpark?” That’s another thing we have in common. We’re both big kids at heart – we love playing on swings and other things like that. And since we’re together, we don’t have to worry about looking stupid in public, as opposed to playing on swings alone.

A light grin pulls at my lips, as I’m overwhelmed with excitement once more. “How about both?”

Kaito and I spend the rest of our time messing around in the park. Well, watching the ducks slowly swim around in the water isn’t exactly messing around – but we certainly did put our own twist on it. Kaito had acted first, scaring off a duck that was innocently waddling along on land. Yes, that is the height of our immaturity. Scaring ducks, like five-year-olds would. Don’t knock it until it’s tried. After being told off by an adult, once we scared quite a lot of ducks, we moved away from where the pond was located and headed over to the playpark.

There had been two free swings left, the rest of the area taken over by young kids and mostly fed up parents. There was some competition for the swings, but it was nothing we couldn’t handle. Well… Being tall and scary teenagers, we effectively caused a kid to cry and scream for his mother. We received several dirty looks from parents, but that wasn’t enough to stop us, obviously. We triumphantly dominated the swings for at least twenty minutes, taking turns pushing each other and all.

Once we’re done at the park and once we’ve finished creating mischief across the town, we decide to call it a day. By the time we’re done with all our fun, it’s around 3:30pm. It barely feels like an hour has passed since we first met up. I’m unable to believe time passed by so fast. We sit at the bus stop, close to where our meeting point was this morning. Kaito offers to ride the bus with me and even walk me home, but I politely refuse, not wanting to waste so much of his time.

“Ahh…” I let out a sigh in relief, before stretching my arms out. It feels good to catch a break after acting so childish all day. Don’t get me wrong, it’s ridiculously fun to piss adults off, but it’s also exhausting after a while. “Can’t believe this day’s over already.”

“Yeah,” Kaito says, letting out a quiet yawn himself. There aren’t many people at the bus stop at this time, so it feels like it’s just us. A relaxing cool breeze surrounds us, as we sit and wait for the bus to arrive. “Hey, at least we have Monday to look forward to.”

That’s right. The school play. I don’t feel as reluctant about that kiss scene anymore. Even if Kaito and I end up as just friends after all that’s happened, I won’t regret giving my first kiss to him. It would have been nice if we had an opportunity to share a short first kiss today, just so it would feel more special than something on-stage, but I understand now that those things truly can’t be rushed.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, though it’s not as if it’s an awkward silence. Soon, the bus can be seen approaching the stop. Hopping up from the seat, I turn and smile at Kaito. “Well, this is my bus. Thank you for today, Kaito.”

He’s hesitantly biting down on his lower lip. “…yeah. I won’t forget this day, y’know.”

“Of course,” I say simply, with a nod. Just before I turn back around to catch the bus, I can rather suddenly feel a warmth against my cheek. My eyes widen slightly in surprise, and the warmth spreads to my other cheek from the sheer embarrassment. Kaito had moved forward pretty quickly, wanting to stop me before I turned around properly… And gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I’m stunned into silence; I’ve never felt something so blissful… something so amazing… It makes my heart pound in joy.

“See you on Monday, princess.” He acts all calm and cool, giving me a wave before I turn around to board the bus. I still can’t believe it. My first real kiss from someone other than my parents. I send him a final smile through the window, as soon as I take a seat on the bus. I still don’t know how to react, but I know one thing for sure. Kaito is the first one to make me feel special. And I’ll never forget that, no matter what happens between us.

…

I arrive back home no later than 4pm. I almost feel sad that I have to return home after such a wonderful day, but there’s always Monday, where I can spend another full day with Kaito. Wow… I really can’t stop thinking about him, can I? I’m far too caught up in my anticipation to see him again. Sighing and clearing my thoughts for now, I approach the front door of my home. I think Mother will be at work by now, along with Father, so that just leaves me with… Len. Can’t say I’m too excited about that.

I push the door open and kick my shoes off lazily, due to how tired I feel now. I close the door behind me, calling out “I’m home!” for my brother to hear. That way, he’ll know not to bump into me ‘by accident’ or anything like that. It’s an efficient way for us to avoid each other. Anyway, as much as I want to crawl up into bed already, I should probably start preparing something for dinner. Knowing Mother, she’ll have left a note on the fridge or something, to remind me to eat a healthy dinner. Rolling my eyes at her predictable nature, I move towards the kitchen.

When I open the door, to my slight surprise, my brother is already in there working on preparing something. I groan lightly to myself, realising I shouldn’t have expected him to avoid me at all. I close the door a bit harshly, to make my presence known without it being an awkward cough. I watch as he lifts his eyes from the chopping board, and turns his head to look right at me.

“Oh. Welcome home.” Oh, there’s that voice of his that he always uses whenever he wants me to feel sorry for him. Something so annoyingly grim, something that just screams his selfish intentions.

I fold my arms over my chest, staring right back at him with cold, unforgiving eyes. “Whatever you’re making, I don’t want any,” I simply say, deciding to be as stubborn as ever. It looks like he’s going to make salad anyway, and I’ve already had that.

“It’s not like I knew you were coming back at this time. I may be a mind-reader, but I can’t _literally_ predict what time you’ll be home,” Len responds, in an argumentative, bitter tone.

“Tch!” I scoff in utter disbelief, shaking my head slowly. And there’s that same old arrogant, snappy tone of his. That didn’t take long at all to return. Even though he’s obviously irritated, I foolishly decide to provoke him further, just to prove him wrong about his pessimistic rant from yesterday. I casually stroll over to where Len stands, stopping a space to the left from him and leaning my back against one of the kitchen counters. He’s chopping up some vegetables, and he _had_ been calm. At least up until now. “Oh, yeah, my day went great. Thanks for asking.”

Len mutters a sort of ‘ugh’ noise, and the hand he clutches a cutting knife with, twitches slightly. It seems as though my remark catches him off guard, and that only angered him. He realises he was wrong about everything he said… Or so I hope. “Why don’t you go do something else while I’m making my food?”

“And not tell my wonderful brother about the most amazing date I had today?” I speak in a sickly-sweet tone, one that’s dripping with veiled malice. It’s my turn to make my brother squirm uncomfortably, and make him see the error of his ways. Maybe I’m just a bit fucked up like that. “Honestly, you’re so inconsiderate.”

He tuts in frustration, and calmly sets the chopping knife down on top of the board. He lifts his head up, glaring at me. “What’s your point?”

“Heh. My point, dear brother, is that you were wrong. And completely out of line when you said those things to me yesterday.” I try my best not to sound too offended or hurt, and instead just laugh at him and tell him exactly what he did wrong. See, at least one of us can offer full explanations. “Don’t pull some bullshit like you’re ‘just worried’ as my brother again, either.”

“So, he’s stringing you along. How does that make it an amazing date?” Len narrows his eyes, voicing his opinions so matter-of-factly once more. He’s being so unfair. I bet he knows how stupid he’s being, but he’s going ahead with all this anyway. “You really should cut your relationship short before you get hurt.”

“Seriously, this again?” I grumble, growing tired of him repeating the same things. I don’t get what kind of point he’s trying to make – nor do I understand his motive, nor his jealousy. “Sorry- Well, actually, I’m not sorry. I’m staying over at Kaito’s house after the play on Monday. Just try and stop me.”

“Wh—Have you lost your brains from all that lust?” Len seems to choke, stuttering and struggling to get his words out at first. “Geez, and I thought only boys used their privates in place of their brains.”

My face flushes a deep red at his ridiculous suggestive comment. I clench my fists at my sides, sharpening my stare at my brother. “A-Are you implying I’m—I am NOT that cheap, or that desperate, Len Kagamine!” It’s extremely obvious what he just implied. I only want one thing from Kaito, apparently. “You know I’m not that kind of girl.”

“…Do I?” is all he asks, raising a brow. I grit my teeth together along with tightening my fists, unable to believe what I’m hearing. “I can’t say I blame you, after so many one-sided crushes. But you’re being extremely reckless by deciding to stay at his house.” He speaks bluntly, in a tone that makes me want to send one of my clenched fists right under his chin.

I tremble on the floor beneath me, just seething with fiery rage. “I can’t believe you think I’m really that desperate! I’m just going to have dinner at his house, and that’s it…!”

Len lets a long sigh pass his lips. He picks the cutting knife back up, and it seems as though he’s going to leave the argument at that. “Hah. Alright, do whatever you want. But if Mother catches you, or if something else goes wrong, don’t come crying to me.”

Taking in a deep breath to try and calm myself down, I give up with shouting in his face. I lower my voice to a low, sharp hiss. “In your _fucking dreams,_ Kagamine.” Unable to stand being in the same room as him any longer, I begin to move towards the door. When I pass my dick-head brother, I bash my shoulder against his with as much force as I can muster, hoping to shove him at least a step away from his original spot. But I don’t bother to check if he’s been pushed or anything – I can’t bear any of it anymore. I keep my eyes forward, breathing heavily from the after effects of such a strong temper, and silently leave the kitchen.

Don’t come crying to me, he says? As if I’d do such a thing. Nothing is going to go wrong – I guarantee it. Not after today being so great. If anything, he’ll be the one who comes crying to me, after he realises how much he screwed up.

…


	7. Inevitable Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick content warning for this chapter in particular. Read at your own discretion, due to sensitive topics being touched on slightly in this one chapter.

**Chapter Seven: Inevitable Regrets**

**...**

I’m lying on my back in my bedroom, awake at an inconceivable time, the only light sources being one from the small lamp… and one from a phone. It’s at least 2am by now, but I can’t put the phone down. I’m holding it in front of me, resting it on top of my chest while using two thumbs to tap away at the screen. The light spilling forward from the screen doesn’t seem too bright to me; it hasn’t caused my brother to wake up, at the very least. I started texting Kaito a couple hours ago. He sent a text to me first at around midnight, saying he couldn’t sleep because he keeps reliving the excitement of our first date – and he’s too overwhelmed with anticipation to see me again on Monday. I’d be lying if I told him I didn’t kind of feel the same way.

Ever since that time, we’ve just been sending each other funny little messages and pictures. I don’t even realise how late it’s become, since we always find new things to tell each other through text. I’ve been chewing on my lower lip in an attempt to keep my mouth shut, so that my giggles don’t disturb anyone in the house. I mean, I don’t care if I wake my brother up. But if Mother and Father find out I’m still awake at this hour, they’ll most likely freak out and confiscate my phone.

‘We really should sleep soon. Gotta get up for school nice and early!’ I tap out those words, taking a couple moments and then sending it to Kaito. We have to be fully refreshed for our performance tomorrow. It’s not until after school, but we’re probably going to be spending the entire day in the main assembly hall, practicing our butts off.

About a minute later, Kaito’s reply comes through. ‘Yeah, sucks. All I wanna do is talk with you.’

Aw, he’s so cute. Smiling like an idiot at my phone screen, I answer. ‘Plenty of time for that tomorrow. I don’t wanna get caught on my phone so late anyway.’

‘Aha, I understand. It’s no problem for me but I’m pretty tired now.’

‘Okay. See ya tomorrow. Night.~’

‘Goodnight, princess.’

Resisting the urge to squeal with happiness, I roll onto my side and turn my phone screen off. I reach over to my bedside table and place my phone on top of the wooden surface. I let out a small, satisfied sigh, snuggling up under the covers and then attempting to fall asleep. Even though my eyes are closed and I’m fairly sleepy, my mind won’t be quiet. There’s so many things on my mind; it takes me a long time to finally get to sleep. And, unsurprisingly, the first dream I fall into is that same old repetitive fairy-tale.

…

[Len Kagamine’s P.O.V]

_Getting involved with Luka Megurine was quite possibly the worst mistake so far in my life. I was still fairly young at the time, so naturally, nothing was able to compare. But even after all that had happened, this was still ranked at the top as the worst. The day Luka Megurine transferred into our school, I was quite apathetic about the whole situation. My sister and Meiko were eager to meet a new student – eager to have someone else join our friendship circle. I couldn’t care any less; I was content with the number of friends I already had. But, being as hyper and ecstatic as she was, Meiko tried hard to pull this new girl into our group._

_According to Rin, this new girl seemed like trouble, and wasn’t worth trying to convince. She was, in my sister’s words, ‘just like the others’. I knew exactly what she meant, and part of me was relieved to hear the news. So, I knew I had to stay out of this new girl’s way. It only took the rest of the school day for Luka to fit into her own group of friends. At that point in time, the three cronies were more commonly referred to as ‘the three witches’. They were just as mean as ever, and Luka fit right in – but somehow, she was crowned as their queen, and became leader in no time. Perhaps she was the fiercest of all witches._

_I had done well to avoid this new girl for quite some time. A whole week passed by before she acknowledged my existence. I was barely aware of her existence myself; I didn’t care what she got up to, as long as she stayed away from us all. However, on the day she formally introduced herself to me, I was alone. My sister was at home, sick from a mild cold. Meiko and Miku were elsewhere together; Kaito and Piko said they had to study during our lesson break times._

_I didn’t mind being alone, of course. I’ve always been indifferent when it came to feelings of loneliness. But on that day, I wish someone was there beside me, to put Luka off from coming up to me. I was minding my own business, really, sat at a small table inside the school’s cafeteria. It was lunch time, and since I was alone, I had tuned out all surrounding sound. So, when I was brought back to reality by a repeating voice, I was just a little bit irritated._

_When I blinked and looked up at the one who was repeating my name, I saw that newly transferred student with long pink hair. Her deep blue eyes were staring right into my soul, in an expectant manner. Rin told me to just ignore her, but it seemed as though she wouldn’t accept any ignorance I showed. Giving a sigh at last, I spoke as little as possible. “Yeah?”_

“ _Mind if I sit here…?” She spoke quietly, strangely requesting to join me at the small table._

_I narrowed my eyes slightly, wondering how to respond to such a forward request. As much as I wanted to follow Rin’s orders to not speak to the new girl, I couldn’t bring myself to answer rudely. After all, this girl hadn’t done anything wrong, at least not yet. So, any anger I threw at her would be unjustified and simply rude. Giving a shrug, I told her she could sit._

_Luka sat down rather stiffly, and I got the feeling she was uncomfortable, or she at least felt shy, perhaps. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and folding one leg over the other, she gave a sincere smile before talking. “I hope you don’t mind me being here, so suddenly. I’ve just seen you around, and you seem so… mysterious. I really would like to get to know you better.”_

_A lot of girls told me I was ‘mysterious’. I didn’t understand how they came to such a conclusion. I just kept to myself, only said what was necessary, and got on with my days. It wasn’t like I always had a serious face on. I messed about just as much as my friends did. Although every part of me was screaming, telling me to make Luka move away, I foolishly did not listen. This was my only chance of an escape. “I see… So, what d’you want to know?”_

_Those conversations started off as mostly friendly. It seemed like she just wanted to be my friend, but even I caught on quickly that those weren’t her true intentions. But by the time I realised what she wanted from me, even I was too far gone. Luka and I met up mainly in secret, so we could avoid the judgemental eyes of our friends, and we talked for hours and hours after school, in a place only we knew of. Looking back on those days, I never could have guessed how far things would escalate at the time._

_I knew it was wrong of me to slowly let myself fall for Luka Megurine, of all people. But a couple months prior to meeting her, I had started to feel the harsh effects of a thing called adolescence. Mother and Father – mainly Father – explained the basics of it to me, and what may or may not happen during those long, painful years. I was never one of those kids who developed crushes easily, compared to my sensitive sister. But when my feelings first came, they hit hard. Like a direct slap to the face, only it was as though someone was continually slapping me. Over and over, I fell deeper for someone I should not have fallen for. She would never love me. And so, I needed a distraction, and fast._

_It didn’t take long for me to make my first move on Luka. After a mere two weeks of talking and getting to know each other on a personal level, we found ourselves experiencing our first rush of pure lust and curiosity. We didn’t do that much, of course, but it was overwhelming and amazing at the time._

_My tongue crossed hers again, and again. My face was flushed a dark red, and so was hers. I could feel the heat and the tension grow rather strong, as Luka teasingly tugged and gripped at my short locks of hair with her fingers. We were sitting together – or rather, one of us sat on top of the other, pressed against the wall – in our favourite secluded spot. Pretty cliché, but a treehouse in Luka’s garden. There were makeshift wooden doors blocking entry, and an opaque sort of cloth hung from the window. Basically, no gaps for anyone to look through and catch us teenagers at the height of curiosity._

_We could only manage a couple minutes at a time, so once more, I pulled my hungry lips from hers. I ran my fingers through her long pink hair, a hazy look in our eyes as we gazed at each other. Luka pulled her fingers from my hair at the back of my head, and then she wrapped her arms around my neck. We were both breathing heavily, trying to catch our breaths so we could satisfy our lust some more. Even though I knew this was wrong, and my heart didn’t want anything to do with this girl. If the girl I loved discovered us, she would surely despise me._

_We looked into each other’s eyes wordlessly for a short while, but I could only see an empty lust reflected in her blue orbs. This was nothing more than a temporary hook-up for the both of us. Even so, we wanted to make the most of the time we had. Since I still had to catch my breath, I settled for pressing my lips against Luka’s neck, eagerly nipping at her skin with my teeth._

“ _Oh…” A small, surprised gasp passed the female’s lips, and I could feel her lowering her hands to grip loosely at my back. “Len… Could you stop for a second?”_

_Without hesitating or needing to be told twice, I respected her request to pause, and so I pulled my lips from her skin. I leaned backwards slightly, looking at her with a sort of blank expression. “What’s wrong?”_

_She sighed softly, leaning her back properly against the treehouse wall. “This is just a game to you, right? You don’t really like me?”_

_That was a tough question to answer. I was fairly certain I wasn’t in love with her. But I still felt something a little strong for her. Despite that, this could have been a trick question to trap me. I gave an indecisive shrug. “Would it make a difference if I said ‘yes’ or ‘no’?”_

“… _Hmm,” she mumbled, lowering her glance for a little while. As though thoroughly contemplating my question. She returned her eyes to me, a confident expression crossing her features. I merely watched her actions in silence, wondering along with her, wanting to know what she would say. “It would. I want more than this game. Please…”_

_I sighed, a hint of frustration mixed in. I should have seen this coming, as well. Sorry, pinkie, but there’s someone I gotta hold out for. “I can’t do that,” I said, trying not to sound too harsh. But it was no use. There were already tears in her eyes. Jesus, I really couldn’t do this. “Hey, look. You shouldn’t be crying over me.”_

“ _Idiot… you’re an idiot…!” She hissed these words out, pulling her arms from my body. I didn’t know if she was scolding herself or me. She was weak. With the little strength she had left, she shoved me away from her, clearly wanting me to leave. That push didn’t do much by itself, but I would respect her wishes again. Standing up from that corner of the treehouse, I took a couple steps back, giving her some much needed space._

“ _You want me to be honest? I only did this to distract myself.” I ended up speaking before thinking, and before I knew it, the words were already out of my control. I laughed nervously when Luka looked like she was about to jump up and slap me. I saw that fire in her eyes, but I sensed her control. “Hey, I didn’t think you’d be into me, anyway.”_

“ _Neither did I…” Luka weakly whispered, her voice sort of raspy, as if she were on the verge of tears. She sniffled once, lifted a hand to one of her eyes and shook her head. “So, you wanted to ‘distract yourself’? Who… who could possibly be better than me…?!” She demanded in such a self-centred manner, that it made me feel a bit nauseous. That ego was staggering; it was awful._

_I just gave a shrug. I had never told anyone – why would I start with her? “You don’t know her.”_

“ _You’re saying that to make me feel better,” she bluntly responded, letting a bitter chuckle pass her lips. Well, yes, that wasn’t necessarily a lie. Too bad she was smart, at least in that one instance. She continued pouring effort into whining for a while after, but eventually, she gave up and demanded that I left her alone. That statement itself was rather ironic, considering she still pestered me for a week or two once that day passed._

_I was finally freed from the clutches of her jealousy and desire to have me all to herself. She openly pestered me, right in front of my sister and my other friends. It was painful, to say the least, to act like I had no idea why she was so interested in me. She really had no shame. But since I rejected her continuously, she gave up, thankfully. Though our secret only lasted a month in total, I still fully regretted betraying the one I truly held feelings for. I had basically cheated on the one I loved, even if she never found out about it. That strong guilt always ate away at me – it faded with time, but was always there, in the back of my mind._

_I noticed that Luka’s behaviour changed after our secret meetings were broken off. That was when the true queen of bullying was born, and she buried her true self deep down inside her heart. And as I later found out, my idiotic sister also got drawn in by that bully. My poor, naïve sister was given a glimpse at the true personality hidden within Luka, and she wanted more. If only I knew, I could have-… No, that was no good. Rin didn’t know about my secret meetings with Luka. So, it was only natural that I wouldn’t know a thing about her one-sided crush – until the day she was rejected._

_It was inevitable that I ended up despising Luka ever since she messed with the both of us. I was even more annoyed at the fact that she hurt my sister, and that anger was shown through my irrational action of beating the crap out of that pink-haired witch. But I swore to myself from then on, I would always hate Luka, even after she left school. Even if she came back some day, I would still despise her. But I also made another promise to myself._

_I would never let Rin find out the truth._

…

[Rin Kagamine’s P.O.V]

For once, I feel excited about waking up early and heading to school. I’ve finally regained a sense of anticipation and excitement, and my days feel so much more refreshing overall. It’s only been two days since my first real date, but I really have made the most of it. And since I feel so much energy bubbling up inside me, it causes me to lose track of time, just like when I was on my date. The school day practically breezes by; the time I spend perfecting my acting passes in the blink of an eye. Before I know it, it’s around 3pm, and Miki has dismissed us for a short while to get some air outside.

I’m unable to spend some more time with Kaito before the performance tonight – Meiko is eager to drag me away and outside for our break from practicing. I don’t really mind, though, so I go along with her happily. We head towards the school’s field outside, but stop just short to where the benches are located. I’m sure Meiko and I would normally mess around on the field at a time like this, but we both really are tired from so much practicing. Miki had really pushed us today, since it’s the day of the show.

I let out a long sigh, plopping myself down onto the bench beside Meiko. At first, the two of us have a conversation about today – how it has been tough, but tonight will be worth it. Meiko’s role as a party jester, or something like that, doesn’t sound particularly tough to nail. But since this is Meiko Sakine, she wants to over-do her role and make it 100% perfect. I’m just hoping she doesn’t go full improv on the stage tonight, honestly. I don’t want her embarrassing herself in front of the entire school.

But soon, that inevitable question comes from Meiko’s mouth. “Sooo… What’s the deal with you and Kaito, Rinny? You’ve been extra close today, and I’m no fool! I can recognise it.”

I can’t help but just laugh as a reaction. I expected that question to come up sooner or later, of course. But the fact that Meiko picks up on it so late, is so very typical of that innocent dork I know and love. “Well… We kinda went on a date, on Saturday.” I give a shrug in a casual manner, stating it clearly.

Meiko looks completely shocked. It seems as though she never once thought Kaito and I would be a match. “E-Eh?! I’m happy for you, Rinny – really! B-But… you and… Kaito?!” she shrieks, seemingly unable to wrap her head around it.

“Mhmm,” I nod in response. “I didn’t expect it either, but… I thought I might as well live a little. He really is sweet, you know? And we had the best time.”

“Uwah! I wanna hear everything, Rinny. Please tell me!” Meiko eagerly requests, her eyes lighting up. She won’t calm down until her curiosity is sated, so I begin to tell her what Kaito and I did together on that day. She’s particularly impressed by my choice of café for lunch, as she nods frantically in approval while listening to my words. She ends up being jealous of how Kaito and I spent all that time chasing ducks away from the pond; she says that she wished to at least see something like that.

Once I finish explaining the events of my date with Kaito, Meiko’s smile fades into that of a more sincere, warm one. There are rare moments when she’s calm, and it’s a bit weird to see coming from her. But she seems to approve of what I told her. “Mm… You really got lucky, Rinny. You deserve that happiness.” Her tone is still as sweet and bubbly as ever, but she’s finally a lot calmer. But she must have noticed the slight frown pulling at my lips, one thing I can’t control when she speaks of happiness. “…But there must be something else on your mind.”

I let out a quiet sigh, glancing down to my lap. I can’t bring myself to make eye contact. I shouldn’t be letting this affect me so much, anyway. Stupid Len… Why can’t I just get him out of my mind? I have so much more joy in my life now, but no matter what, it’s like I’m not satisfied. I can’t get that jerk brother of mine out of my head. “Yeah, it’s just… Just my stupid brother.”

I can hear Meiko let out a sympathetic sigh. “You two have never got along well, have you?”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Way to point out the obvious. I bite my tongue, swallowing my snappy momentary feelings, and say something softer. “Yep. He’s been even weirder than usual this past week, though. Promise not to mention this to him or Kaito?”

Meiko giggles softly, and when I lift my head up to meet her eyes, I can see that loyalty shining in the reflection of her eyes. I know I can trust her. “Of course, Rinny.”

Taking in a deep breath to compose myself, so I don’t end up close to crying or anything, I begin. I tell her everything that’s happened these past few days between Len and I. From the first strangest encounter, to the last on Friday at school. I spend quite a long time explaining the events and then venting my feelings about them. But it feels unbelievably good to get those heavy emotions off my chest, and I know I can completely put my faith into her. After all, Meiko is my best friend, and I know she would never judge me for anything I said or did.

And so, we talk. We talk for a long time, exchanging theories and such on why my brother has acted so strangely. Meiko tries to rationalise the events, just as I tried to, but in the end, she reached a wall as well. She genuinely ends up stumped, after I deny any possibilities she brings up regarding Len’s behaviour. We’ve been talking deeply for around half an hour at this point, and ultimately, we’re both left feeling empty and as though nothing has been resolved. At the very least, Meiko offers supportive words in regard to how all this has left me feeling. I at least feel a bit less upset than before.

Eventually, a silence falls between us, as we’re left to our thoughts for a bit. There’s a bit of an unsettling chill in the air, which sends a shiver down my spine. It’s summer, so I hadn’t expected it to feel so cold all of a sudden. The dramatic part of me wants to call this a ‘bad omen’, but realistically, it’s probably just an off-day for the sun.

“We should probably get back inside.” I speak up in a low voice, not wanting to entirely break the peaceful silence. If we’re not back soon, I think Miki will have our heads. The performance starts at 5pm, but she’ll want us to do at least one run-through backstage.

“Mm, that’s right. Try not to worry about everything, okay, Rinny?” Meiko grins brightly at me, offering words of encouragement before standing up from the bench. She rests her hands against her hips, trailing her eyes down slightly to look at me. “I’m sure it’ll all be okay. Besides, you should focus on tonight. Focus on giving the best performance of your life!”

I mentioned to Meiko that acting on-stage with Len, Luka and her other friends isn’t going to be exactly ideal. But she told me not to focus on those people, and instead, look forward to the scenes with my good friends, and think of the joy it’ll bring me in the end. It’s pretty solid advice, and I can take it to heart easily now. “Yeah…” I hop up from the bench not long after Meiko, and together, we take a slow walk back towards the school building. I guess this is the moment of truth, huh? I really hope I don’t crack under pressure, after everything that’s happened. What could possibly go wrong?

…

[Len Kagamine’s P.O.V]

A little while ago, Meiko and Rin went off somewhere together, probably to catch a break and some fresh air. I, on the other hand, just stayed put and repeated my lines in my head for a bit. I don’t really need a break; tonight will be a piece of cake. I feel slightly anxious about my upcoming scenes with my sister. I hope there’s no strong tension between us, especially considering how annoyed she is at me right now. She has every right to be mad at me. And truthfully, I’m glad my methods are working. As much as it pains me, there are serious reasons as to why we should be driven apart. It’ll be better for both of us in the long run. That’s why I hope tonight is a sort of farewell, and after we act on-stage together, we’ll drift apart.

I’m sitting a few rows down in the seats that have been prepared in the assembly hall for tonight. Two rows in front of me, I can see the backs of both Kaito and Piko. I narrow my eyes at Kaito’s back, irritated by his very presence. It’s funny. I can’t make my mind up. I definitely despise Kaito for his recent actions, that’s for sure. I want to drive Rin away from Kaito, but at the same time, I should be allowing her to date him all she wants. I’m constantly flipping between protecting my sister, and pushing her away. I have no idea how to handle these feelings. There’s a more complex reason as to why I act the way I do, as to why I always flip my emotions. But if I explain that to her, she will never understand.

“Ah, it’s no fair, I wanted to win that bet…!”

“…Hmm?” I raise a brow, perking my head up as I hear something that may be of interest. That voice is Piko’s. I know I shouldn’t care about whatever they discuss in their spare time, but this could _possibly_ contain some dirt on that Kaito. Even when they first joined our friendship circle, I never had been all that fond of the two – Kaito in particular. Something about his attitude just kind of struck me as too perfect, therefore, fake. It was only a hunch, but the feeling stuck. So, now I’m essentially being nosey to prove my hunch.

“Even if you moved in sooner than I did, there’s no way you would win.” Kaito speaks now, and I have to admit, this really does sound intriguing. “Besides, you’re right. She really is desperate.”

 _She?_ Don’t tell me they’re talking about-…

“So, you got Rin to go around to your house already? Maaan, that sure _does_ sound desperate.”

I fucking knew it. My teeth begin to clench uncontrollably, as do my fists, out of a swift burning fury. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I had only been bluffing to Rin earlier, due to the hunch I’ve always held about Kaito. But to hear that it’s actually true… He’s just stringing her along, and probably with extremely sick intentions. Just the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

“Right? She’s so obsessed with finding ‘true love’ or whatever, it’s actually kinda funny,” comes Kaito’s arrogant voice, followed by an even more irritating laugh. I’m forcing myself with extreme self-control to stay seated, and _not_ go over to knock this manipulative bastard out. Oh, how I’d love to put him in hospital right now. “One date, and she was all mine. I’m sure I’ll score some bases tonight.”

Piko snickers at Kaito’s words, as if they mean nothing. How can they just objectify my sister like this…? How can they treat her like she doesn’t have feelings? “You gotta let me know if you hit it off with her. After all, she’s still an open target if you don’t meet the goals of the bet, dude.”

An open target…? How dare they! Oh, man, I need to warn my sister. But will she even listen to me? Will she believe me if I tell her what these two have been plotting? At that moment, I curse myself harshly for foolishly making Rin hate me. Because now it’s _my fault_ if she gets into trouble later. It’s _my fault_ if she willingly gives herself up to someone she’s went on one date with. I sit there, frantically trying to think of a solution. Damn it… Maybe I could go to Meiko before the play starts. That’s right! Meiko is Rin’s best friend. I’m sure if Rin hears it from Meiko, then she’ll have to believe it.

I sit there, anxiously awaiting Rin’s return from outside with her best friend. I have to do it in a way that doesn’t draw any suspicion – if my sister sees me privately talking with Meiko, I’m sure she’ll instantly doubt anything that’s given back to her. Ah, fuck it, who cares if she’s suspicious of us talking? This is my only chance to protect her! After what feels like forever, I catch sight of Rin and Meiko returning to the assembly hall. Taking in a breath, I call Meiko’s name.

Both Meiko and Rin stop in their tracks, but only Meiko turns around to face me with curious eyes. My sister won’t even look at me. This hurts so much more than I first anticipated. I let out a sigh, before gesturing for Meiko to come over to me. She turns to look at Rin, and probably after gaining approval, she makes her way to where I’m seated.

“Lenny…” Meiko says, in a saddened tone. Her eyes aren’t as full of excitement and sparkles like they usually are. Fuck… Did Rin tell her about what I’ve done? I deserve it, obviously, but that makes this so much harder. “You know Rinny is really upset, right?” She speaks in a sort of whisper, and her broken heart is visible through her tone.

“I know. I fucked up. But this isn’t about me. I don’t want Rin to forgive me… I just want you to warn her about something,” I speak as bluntly as I can, making it clear my own feelings aren’t the most important in this situation.

Meiko sighs, and appears to be reluctant to listen. She’s silent for a short moment, before giving in and listening to me. “I’ll do what I can.”

“I know this sounds ridiculous, and like a lie, after everything I said. But Rin really is in danger. You can’t let her go around to Kaito’s house tonight.” I speak, acknowledging that this may sound like another pessimistic lie. Even so, my tone is as serious as it can be, and I’m sure my eyes are reflecting my true intentions. “I heard Kaito and Piko talking about some kind of bet, to presumably see who can sleep with Rin first.”

A light groan passes Meiko’s lips as soon as I say this. That reaction alone is enough for me to know she absolutely doesn’t believe me. “Lenny… A bet? Come on. Rinny told me everything – including what you said to her about Kaito. I don’t know why you don’t want them to date, but making things like this up is just-”

“Why would I lie about something like that?” Unable to stop myself, I interrupt Meiko’s words with a panicked shout. I’m growing more and more scared at the thought of Rin and Meiko doubting what I say. I know I fucked up, so just move on and listen to what I’m saying, damn it. “Kaito intends to coerce Rin into sleeping with him tonight. She can’t just jump into something like that! Even if I am lying about that bet, it’s still extremely irrational.”

It’s hard to make out what Meiko must be feeling, as her expression is blank. Maybe she’s trying to process everything I’m telling her. She has to believe me, damn it. “I’m sorry. I trust Rinny more right now. I don’t know what to think of you, after all you’ve done…” She finally says those words, and any sliver of hope I held has been crushed to pieces. I feel my heart sink when I hear those words… And I’m too weak to stop Meiko from walking away.

That sick, twisted bastard is going to sleep with Rin and then throw her away like an unwanted doll. He’s going to steal her first kiss tonight, as well. I lift my glance up slowly, watching as Rin and Meiko head off to behind the stage. After seeing that she’s really gone and she won’t be coming back as the same, innocent sister… I hang my head low in defeat, and wait for this awful night to come to an end.

…

[Rin Kagamine’s P.O.V]

It’s finally almost show-time! I can’t believe it, but I’m _actually_ excited. Well, perhaps this is just hysteria disguised as excitement – but who cares? I feel such a rush, one I haven’t felt in a long time. The drama club members are currently standing backstage, awaiting the start of the play. There’s only ten minutes to go until the play begins. Right now, the headmaster of our school is on-stage, giving a generic ‘thank you’ speech, and talking about otherwise irrelevant things. I’m itching with excitement; I wish that he’d hurry up.

Mother and Father will be here tonight, too. I hope they’ll finally see me as a responsible daughter, one who can step up to a challenge and execute it perfectly. Rather than seeing me as a daughter who’s irresponsible, who appears to be lazy and lacks enthusiasm in my approach to school. Sure, this is only a school play, but this takes up a lot of effort to get right. So, I really hope to make them proud tonight. Plus, I’ll be able to show off the fact that I’ve gotten over my irrational fear of crowds.

“Rin…?”

I can hear an all too familiar voice beside me. Letting out a quiet sigh, I keep my glance forward, even though I can feel a presence to my left. “What?” I ask, in a harsh tone.

“Good luck out there. I know you’ll be amazing.” My brother offers me words of encouragement, but I can’t even begin to accept them. Meiko told me exactly what kind of story Len tried to cook up a couple hours ago. A bet? I’m in danger if I go to Kaito’s house? What a load of shit.

I scoff lightly, not bothering to answer Len. Sure, I might be acting petty and stubborn. But I’m not going to let everything he’s done slide. He probably realises that, because I can see Len moving away out of the corner of my eye. I shake my head, and focus once more. To distract my mind, I decide to observe the brilliant costumes Miki brought in for us.

I’ve already taken a glance at most of them, but I might as well take this time to fully admire the blatant effort that went into making these. It’s a little hard to see full detail, as the backstage lighting is kind of dim. But there are all sorts of outfits… Kaito’s in particular is a traditional prince’s outfit; a dark, sort of silky and glistening yukata kimono, with specific patterns embroidered across the back and shoulders. Meiko is in some sort of funny-looking, yet actually rather cute jester’s dress, and Piko’s matches with hers. Miku is in a beautiful Chinese-styled dress, and the colour just matches her teal hair, which she has tied back into a bun.

All my friends look fantastic. There’s my dress, and while it’s very pretty, I don’t think I can compare it and say mine looks the best. The theme of my dress is the same as Miku’s, as we’re ‘rival princesses’ in this play. Except mine is a shining gold colour, which runs down to cover my ankles, and the see-through golden shawl hanging from my shoulders has a cute flower pattern etched onto it. I’ve also made an effort to make my hairstyle a bit more ‘princess’-looking, but there’s not much I can do with it in the first place.

And at last, the curtains are closed, marking the beginning of our performance. The headmaster had announced that his speech was over, and he probably went off stage to take a seat. When the curtains close, we quickly set up the first scene – Kaito, Piko, Meiko and Luka place several props down onto the stage. Once they’re done in an unbelievably quick time, the students required for the opening scene head onto the stage, which ends up being me, Luka, Gumi, Lily, and SeeU.

The curtains rise, and it truly begins. The story of this play is as follows.

…

It begins with a princess being scolded by her mother, and then mocked by her three siblings. The mother is a strict woman, queen of a beautiful kingdom, and ultimately decides that one of her daughters isn’t eligible to gain the freedom a princess should. And so, she takes matter into her own hands, punishing the princess and forcing her to do every possible chore around the palace. The queen thinks this will teach her daughter to take her role as a princess much more seriously, but no matter how hard this princess works, her mother never praises her or appreciates her. Nor do the princess’s three older sisters.

It moves on to show that one of the sisters – this role belonging to Gumi – is only going along with the other two, so that she doesn’t get bullied either. She feels deep guilt for not protecting her younger sister, but in the end, there is nothing she can do. She also does not want to be punished by the queen herself. The young princess knows this, so she urges her caring sister to move on and forget about her pain.

On a particularly cold night, the princess is resting against the balcony outside her bedroom. She glances to the night sky, yearnful for a better life, even if only for a single night. She pledges to do absolutely anything in return; she just wants to experience being a true princess for one night. She feels twice the pain of heartache on this night, knowing her family has been invited to attend a ball in a neighbouring kingdom. She has not been allowed to attend alongside them – but she has always wanted to go to a ball and even fall in love with a prince there.

Luck had been on her side on that fateful night. As though someone heard her cries, the presence of something magical yet ultimately chill-inducing has been summoned by her side. Before the princess has a chance to scream in terror at the unexpected presence of someone, who absolutely shouldn’t be there, they speak. There stands a tall male, one whose identity is completely concealed. He wears a dark suit, accompanied by a glittering, dark red mask over his eyes and nose. The princess is bewildered, and rendered speechless. Even more so, when the male states his purpose and offers a deal.

He introduces himself as a ‘fairy godmother’ of sorts, and claims he can make anyone’s wish come true if they desire it strongly enough. He states that he has heard her sadness, and he wants to grant her wish. Though reluctant at first, the princess accepts his helping hand. With a click of his fingers, a light sparkle surrounds her, and though she feels no difference in herself, he reassures her that the wish has been granted and no one will stand in her way at the ball tonight. However, he says one final thing, only after the wish has been granted.

‘In order to give one a night to live life to the fullest… Another’s night must be crushed, and this must be their final ball for all eternity, so that balance may be restored.’

Only then, the princess realises what truly must be done by the time the effects of the wish wear off. But she cannot protest; in the blink of an eye, that male is no longer there. She realises there’s nothing she can do. This is the price she must pay for selfishly demanding a night to be a true princess, and so, she must end the life of the prince she dreamed of falling in love with. She travels to the neighbouring kingdom, and attends the ball with confidence, wanting to make the most of her time with her true love.

The wish really has been granted. As the princess slowly moves her way across the vast hall, weaving through the crowd of guests, something supernatural pulls the prince and princess together. He is currently dancing with another princess, one who has been picked by the kingdom’s queen and king to marry their son. However, as soon as he locks eyes with the princess of the neighbouring kingdom, he stops in his tracks and releases his fiancée’s hands. The spell has taken effect, and he’s drawn towards the princess, which causes the former fiancée to explode with rage.

Such anger and whispers of disgust do not reach the two brought together by cursed magic. The prince wordlessly takes hold of her hands, and locking eyes with love-struck gazes, they begin to twirl and dance majestically across the hall. Time stands still for the princess – for the longest time, she forgets about the cruel conditions of her wish, and she loses herself entirely in their wonderful dance. Soon, the clock draws closer and closer to that ever so typical midnight; the deadline for the conditions of the curse to be met. If the princess does not take the life of the prince, her true love, then she will lose her own life automatically, so that balance is restored one way or another.

The princess requests that the two of them head up to a balcony, for a few, final moments of privacy. Buried deep into a hardly visible pocket – which had been sewn in place after the curse was cast – is a sharp knife. She carefully slides it out, gripping it firmly in one palm while the prince is admiring the outside view. She shifts her hand behind her back, obscuring the view of such a weapon. She glances wordlessly at the prince, and pushing herself to gain courage, she takes the initiative and surprises him with a deeply passionate kiss. He rests a warm palm against her cheek, returning such a breath-taking kiss without hesitation.

However… Not long after… His outfit starts to become stained with something red, and at quite a fast pace. The princess pulls away from the kiss, and retracts her hand from the prince’s stomach. She draws back the knife, looking at her true love with apologetic eyes, as crimson fluid begins to flow out from his mouth and down his chin. Even though he’s been betrayed, and his killer is right in front of his eyes, he whispers out ‘I love you’, and falls to his knees.

…

I sigh deeply, after giving the best performance I possibly could. I feel overwhelmed with emotions after such a rollercoaster of a play. It had been nothing less than a huge success. The applause we all received was pretty shocking, but we modestly accepted that we did a great job. I set myself down onto a bench, catching my breath inside the gym class changing room. We had been instructed to change in and out of costume here, considering there’s nowhere else appropriate to do so. Disregarding any other overwhelming feelings after finishing the play, I can’t help but constantly replay that kiss scene in my head. Even though it had been on-stage, it truly did feel magical between Kaito and I. That passion and spark really was there, and I loved every second of it.

I decide to stand up after a few moments of thinking to myself. I begin to change out of my costume, idly chatting with Meiko beside me as we pull our school uniforms back on. Even though Meiko’s part had been minor, I still really enjoyed how she portrayed her character. Everyone performed flawlessly in the end – though I have to admit, I didn’t feel too comfortable acting on-stage with Len. I’m kind of glad that our only scene together was when he granted the princess’s wish.

Once I finish changing back into my school uniform, I say my goodbyes to Meiko and Miku, then head out of the changing room. Kaito and I previously agreed to meet outside the school gates, so that’s where I’m headed. I’m kind of excited to spend a few hours at his house tonight – it’ll give us an opportunity to talk about the play, and really go over our feelings for each other, as well as talk about where our relationship is heading. Well, alright, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. I just can’t wait!

Kaito and I meet up outside the school gates, just as planned, and we begin to take a slow walk over to his house. For the majority of the time we spend walking together, we talk non-stop about the play and how well it went overall. We share the same opinion, pretty much, and we go on about how amazing it turned out, and how incredibly fun it had been. We also talked about how fun it had been to act on-stage together, and hopefully we’ll get more chances in the future to do so, now that we have more club members. Eventually, I find that we’re approaching Kaito’s house, and I start to grow a little bit nervous.

It’s just sunk in that this is my first time at a boy’s house. I mean, technically I’ve been invited to Piko’s house and even Kaito’s house before this. But this time, it’s my first time at the house of a boy I’m dating. It feels completely different compared to the other times I’ve been here. I’m going to try and enjoy tonight as much as I can, though. So, I push any negative thoughts from my mind, concentrating hard enough and blocking them out altogether. After all, I don’t want to end up hearing my brother’s nagging thoughts at some point.

Kaito unlocks the door to his house, and we both enter together. Stepping into the familiar house, and feeling the warmth of the heater hitting me, I let out a sort of shaky sigh. I push my shoes off from my feet and set them down beside his, before turning and giving a light smile.

“Hey, how about we chill out together for a bit, first? Before I make a start on dinner,” Kaito suggests, giving a soft smile to me in return.

I shrug my shoulders, not really bothered how we spend our time. Besides, due to nerves and the butterflies in my stomach, I can barely feel any hunger. I should spend some time with Kaito before eating, so that I can calm myself down. “Sure. Got any games in your room, or anything like that?”

He shakes his head, an apologetic smile pulling at his lips. “Sorry… But I’m sure we can find something to talk about.” I give a simple nod in agreement. So much has happened today; I’m sure we can definitely talk about a lot of different things. And so, Kaito and I make our way up the stairs together, walk a short distance through the hall, and end up at his bedroom door. He allows me to push the door open and step in first – I do so, but rather anxiously. I suppose that feeling is only a natural reaction.

I take a few steps into the room, waiting for Kaito to follow after me. Once he does, he casually makes his way towards his bed and sets himself down onto the edge. I suppose I should sit down with him, right? Swallowing lightly to push down any irrational nerves, I slowly trail my way over to Kaito’s bed to sit next to him. A light blush stains my cheeks when I sit a short space apart from him, and the atmosphere is suddenly rather intense between us. There’s silence for quite some time.

“…I hope you don’t think this is too forward, but…” Kaito softly speaks up, breaking the silence. I lift my eyes up to bravely make eye contact, waiting for him to speak again after he reluctantly pauses. “You’re so beautiful, Rin.”

My eyes widen slightly at Kaito’s sincere comment. I can feel the warmth on my cheeks grow a bit more, and in that instant, the entire room feels rather hot. My heart starts to pound a little faster in my chest, too. That look in his eyes is making me feel… completely secure. Safe. Like I can trust him with anything. And his words are so gentle, so pure. “Kaito…” I’m left speechless. I can only manage to utter his name, in a breathless murmur.

“I feel so lucky to be dating you…” he continues, his eyes slipping shut for a moment, in what I presume to be appreciation or something similar to that. No matter what it is, I still feel like he’s slowly winning my heart. With each honest, heart-melting compliment he gives me, I feel my heart giving in more and more to him. “I just can’t believe you picked someone like me, you know?”

“Shh… that’s enough…” I can’t take it any longer. Hushing him, I swiftly lean in closer to his face. Not giving him a moment to respond, I’m taken over by these feelings swelling in my chest. They overflow, and I press my lips against Kaito’s, before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him close to me in a passionate embrace. All these emotions I’m feeling are barely making any sense. All I know is that I want to kiss Kaito, and let him know how much I appreciate him.

For a short while, Kaito and I remain joined at the lips, and I greatly enjoy the feeling of bliss from the embrace. I don’t regret giving away my first kiss to him. It just feels right, and everything we’ve done together so far hasn’t been forced. So, this is a way to essentially thank him. Unable to handle doing this for long, I slowly pull my lips from his and make an attempt to catch my breath. I look into his eyes for a moment, but suddenly, I can see him lean in towards my neck.

I can’t help but gasp softly at the new sensation, which had come out of nowhere. I can feel Kaito’s lips gently pressing against the side of my neck, and he trails light kisses up and down the skin. I let out a shaky breath, surprised at how pleasant it ends up feeling, and how it makes me all the more embarrassed and weak. Slowly, I raise a hand to grip at his shoulder, in order to support myself and feel more secure. “K-Kaito…” I stutter those words out, before biting down on my lower lip. This sensation does feel nice, but… I wouldn’t say it’s quite right.

“Hmm…?” He curiously hums in a low tone, momentarily taking his lips from the side of my neck. I find myself unable to say anything. I can’t shake this strange feeling. And since I don’t explicitly state that something is nagging at me, Kaito once again presses his lips to my neck – this time, a little bit rougher out of presumably passion.

It does feel nice. I guess I’m just not used to it yet. But the more he trails his kisses along my skin, moving from the side of my neck to under my chin, the more it ends up feeling normal. I lightly close my eyes, instinctively tilting my head back just a bit, giving him room to move some more. It feels extremely blissful for the next minute or so, and I almost find myself slipping away from reality… But something quickly brings me back.

My eyes dart open, because I can feel a strange presence a bit lower down on my body. I trace my eyes down, hoping Kaito doesn’t notice just yet. And to my disbelief, what I expected truly is happening. Kaito’s hand is pressed against my right breast, his fingers lightly squeezing the area to sort of grip it and attempt to make me feel ‘better’. Disgusted and shocked at such forward behaviour, I try to speak up, but my words get caught in my throat. “K-Kaito, that’s…”

“Mm…?” Kaito pulls away from my neck, and slides his grabby hand down from my breast, resting his palm against my waist. He still has that seem so-called ‘loving’ look in his eyes. But after realising that he only has one thing in mind, I start to feel cold all over. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

My mouth opens wide, as if to say something… But I can’t. This is far too soon for my liking. I can barely begin to comprehend what on earth he thinks he’s doing. It seems like he thinks this is a normal progression between those who date. God… That hasn’t even crossed my mind. Not once. Even though I’ve wanted to experience this eventually, I don’t want to rush into it…! While I think in a panic, my expression probably matches the tone inside my mind.

“Hey… It’s okay, calm down. It doesn’t feel bad, I promise.” Kaito speaks in a reassuring tone, but I feel the complete _opposite_ of reassured at this point. He thinks he can get his way with me. Fuck, what have I done? Have I really been that naïve? I thought he truly appreciated me. He does, right? Let this be a simple misunderstanding. I’m snapped out of thought, feeling Kaito trail his hand up from my waist, back down, and repeat it a few times, as though he’s trying to get me to calm down.

“Kaito…!” I finally find my voice, growling harshly at him, but not as loudly as I wanted to. He looks at me with confused eyes, as if I’m the one in the wrong. I’m not in the wrong, am I? Fuck, I feel so helpless – I don’t know what to think. “I don’t know what gave you the idea that I came here to… for… ugh, for those reasons…!” I speak in a tone that expresses nothing but pure disgust.

“Hey. I just assumed you’d want someone to give you some love, considering the number of times you’ve been rejected.” He speaks in a casual manner, something that makes me nauseous. He’s treating this as if it’s no big deal. The sweet, sincere Kaito from before is gone. The one I felt I could trust, and the one who was innocent, who’d never lay a hand on me like this. But once the realisation that it’s all an act slaps me in the face…

I quickly free myself from Kaito’s hands, pulling my body away to reject him and jump up from the bed. I take a couple steps back to distance myself from him, and by now, the panic in my eyes is probably painfully clear. My heart is pounding faster in my chest, but not for the same reason as earlier. No… I’m scared. Scared of what Kaito has become, of his intentions from the beginning with me, and of the mess I’ve so foolishly gotten myself into.

“…you honestly think you have the right to reject me? After all the times you’ve been rejected by everyone else?” This time, when Kaito speaks, his voice is a lot more sinister and colder. I shuffle backwards one step out of instinct and worry, clutching my hands against my chest. “Let’s be honest. You’re never going to find anyone else. This is the most love you’ll ever get in your life, isn’t it?”

I feel like I’m going to throw up at any moment. I can’t believe my ears – is this really happening? Please, let this be a dream. I continue to stare at him with all the courage I can muster, but I don’t know what to say in response to him. “No… That’s not…” I try to deny his words, but deep down, I know he’s right. Even so, I absolutely mustn’t give into him. I can’t jump back into his arms.

“So, come on… I know you’re desperate for it. You must be, by now…” Kaito narrows his eyes at me, and his coldness pierces deep into my heart. I can’t prepare myself for his next statement. “… _Whore._ ”

As soon as I hear that disgusting, derogatory term, I’m fighting back hot tears. Tears which sting my eyes and blur my vision. I face the reality… This isn’t a dream. I can’t turn back time. Kaito definitely just called me a whore. And I can’t hold back the tears any longer. I can’t give him the satisfaction of arguing back. Even though he could easily chase after me, I have to take the risk of running and leaving this house. I blink away the first lot of tears, and taking in a deep breath, I turn as quickly as I possibly can on my heels. I turn and run right out of that room, not stopping for a single moment to check if Kaito is behind me.

I dash down the stairs, fearing for my safety, and since I’m in such a panicked state, I don’t even stop to grab my shoes which I left near the front door. I grab the door handle, pushing it down and hurriedly flinging the door itself open. Barefooted, I begin to sprint in the first direction I think of. I don’t even know if I’m running the right way, but since my mind has been consumed by dread, I can no longer think logically. And so, I run for quite some time down an unfamiliar street, until I feel like I’m far enough away from that house.

I slow down after a few minutes, stopping in my tracks entirely. I feel like I’ve avoided danger, but now that my mind can relax, I’m slapped with a harsh realisation. I lean over, pressing my palms tightly against my thighs while breathing heavily. I’m exhausted. I’m confused. I have no idea where I am, no idea what to do about what just happened. While leaning over, I take in a deep breath, desperately swallowing down the urge to throw up right then and there. It’s not that late at this point, but the surrounding street is almost pitch black. I slowly stand up straight, starting to hyperventilate from the added fear of the darkness closing in around me. I clutch my hands against my chest once more, helplessly looking around.

There are no houses in sight. I must be nearing a path towards a field or something like that, because I can’t locate a single bit of light. After standing around terrified for a couple of minutes, I suddenly remember that I previously slid my phone into my pocket before changing into my costume for the play. Gasping sharply at this memory, I immediately dig my hand into my pocket and pray that it has some battery life.

I switch the screen on, and miraculously, it has about 30% life remaining. Trying my best to calm my breathing and control my tremoring hands, I tap hard against the screen and make a phone call. I should have taken his advice from the start. I should have listened to his warnings. I should never have rushed into this…! I press the phone to my ear, hoping and hoping that he’ll pick up and won’t ignore me. The dial tone plays for longer than it should, and I start to become less hopeful about him answering. Just as I’m about to give up, I hear his voice.

“Hello?” It’s as cold and judgemental as always, but it fills me with relief.

“L-Len… I’m so sorry. Please come help me.”

…


	8. Helpless

**Chapter Eight: Helpless**

…

My heart beats hard in my chest. After calling for help, and pleading for him to come get me, there is silence for a short while. I can hear my brother’s light breathing on the phone, but nothing comes out for a few moments. Finally, a heavy sigh reaches my ear. “So, now you want my help?”

Those words crush any bit of hope I have left. I should have expected this, but… It still hurts like hell to actually hear it. Blinking away a few tears, I try to speak as clearly as I can, hoping that I don’t break. “I- I get it, I cut you off for a while. I was mad, because you-… Ugh, it doesn’t matter right now. Please, just don’t leave me here.”

“Heh…” A bitter-sounding laugh reaches my ear after I speak. “Even though I warned you that you were just being used, you still went to his house. And now that he’s used you as he pleased, thrown you out onto the street – you want to come crying to me? I don’t have time for this.”

“Wait, no- Don’t hang up!” I desperately try to interrupt, to stop him from ending the call right now. “I know I fucked up, seriously. But you don’t understand what he’s done to me.”

“Rin, I warned you repeatedly that he only wanted to sleep with you. And since it’s finally happened, you regret it. I’m sorry, but you put yourself in that position from the beginning. I told you not to come whining to me.” Len speaks coldly, and with each thing he says, I can feel myself being pushed closer and closer to a breaking point. I tremble on the ground beneath me, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Everything he says is right. I know that. But even so…

“N-No, that’s not… Okay. You’re right, I wanted something more from him. But that was just… just kissing…! I didn’t expect him to go so far. Please, just-”

“So, you admit to encouraging him,” Len cuts my shaky words off. “As I said, you’re regretting what you did with him. That’s fine – but it’s not my problem.”

I grit my teeth together, growing frustrated at his unwillingness to listen to the full story. Along with that, I find it difficult to properly explain what happened in the first place. “Just, listen to me!” I harshly demand, unable to stop myself from lashing out. I take in a deep breath, ignoring the tears running down my cheeks. “I don’t know where I am right now. There’s no lights here. I can’t get home. Please, all I want is for you to help me get home.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I can hear a laugh of disbelief come from my brother. “And why exactly would I do that? After the way you’ve acted, I don’t think I should bother.”

If I was standing in front of him right now, I’d be down on my knees to beg. The more Len rejects me, the more I can feel the darkness begin to close in on me. “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry? How many times should I let you boast and say, ‘I told you so’?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I just can’t forgive you. You think I hurt you so badly, right? But I suppose you don’t even care about how I feel.” Len scoffs and says this bluntly. Again, he’s right. Yet, I’ve been so stubborn and ignored everything he said. It seems like it’s fate for the two of us to hate each other. We won’t be able to come back from this so easily.

“…alright,” I weakly whisper, deciding to give in first. He won’t come for me. “At least tell Mom that I’m safe, and I’ll be home in an hour or so.” That’s all I ask of him.

“Just this once. But only because she’d go crazy if she found out the truth.” Without giving me a chance to tell him I’ll find a way home myself, my brother puts an end to the call. I hold the phone to my ear a few moments after, still finding myself stunned after everything.

Coming to my senses a short moment later, I slowly lower my arm and slide my phone back into my pocket. I wrap my arms around myself, beginning to feel the once cool night breeze as an icy cold wind. I glance around, trying my hardest to gain a sense of direction. If I continue down this path, it’ll probably take me into a field. So, perhaps if I walk back the way I ran, pass by Kaito’s house and keep walking in that direction… I should be home sooner or later. Preparing myself to face up to the unknown dangers of the dark, I slowly begin to move and retrace my steps.

It turns out that I ended up running to somewhere far from Kaito’s house, because of that good old ‘fight or flight’ instinct. Although it doesn’t take _that_ long to find my way back, it definitely feels like it takes forever. I keep turning corners and entering more unknown streets, and I can’t tell if I’ve went in circles yet. But soon, I find myself back on a familiar path; I realise I’ve reached the street where Kaito’s house is. Shuddering lightly, I push myself to quickly pass that house, despite how exhausted I feel.

As I find myself knowing where I am, more or less, I begin to think to myself as I walk, to distract myself from the cruel cold air. Avoiding stones scattered across the path, I let out a quiet sigh. I can’t quite think of the reason why Kaito flipped his personality so suddenly. I remember Meiko telling me about his so-called ‘bet’ with Piko – but even so, he hadn’t really been the type when we first became friends. Then again, I don’t think I really know what Kaito is like. We got along well, while hanging out with our other friends. But maybe it had all been an act. I’m not sure about anything anymore.

After dragging myself through several streets, I miraculously find my way back to the street where home is. It must have taken at least half an hour… No, maybe it’s longer than that. I suppose it no longer matters. I just want to get home and fall asleep straight away, to forget about all that’s happened. Even if it’s just a temporary release. Blocking out any more stressful thoughts, I force myself to keep walking that short, final distance to home.

Once I open the front door, I let out a deep sigh in relief. I finally feel like I’m safe, at least for now. There’s no telling what tomorrow or the day after that will bring. Kaito may still be planning some more sick things with Piko. But I don’t even want to think about that. I step into the warm, secure house. I instantly shut the door behind me, not letting the darkness reach me and drag me back any longer.

Groaning quietly, I make my way over to the kitchen. Only now, my appetite has returned, and I realise I haven’t had food in hours. Mother must be in her own bedroom or perhaps in the living room, because she isn’t anywhere to be found in the kitchen. I should probably just grab a light snack, because if I ask for a full dinner, Mother will most likely follow up with an interrogation of her own. I end up raiding the cupboards for a couple of cookies and a bag of chips. It’ll have to do for tonight.

I reluctantly head up to my bedroom, wondering if I have the energy to argue with my brother again. Every part of me just wants to burst into the room and scream at him for being a massive dick. But the rational part of me is urging me to apologise for everything I said to him, and for not believing all the warnings he gave me. Sighing lightly, I make my way to the bedroom. Pushing the door open, I immediately walk towards my bed, not daring to make eye contact just yet. I keep my glance low as I walk, wanting to avoid the sudden tense, awkward atmosphere.

When I slide myself under the covers of my bed, not bothering to change into my night clothes, I pull my phone from my pocket again. I hold it in front of me, but I’m not sure if I can manage to fake a friendly conversation with Meiko tonight. I stare hesitantly at the phone screen for quite some time, in an indecisive manner. I don’t think I can bring myself to talk about what happened tonight. I think I want to tell my brother if he agrees to listen, but when it comes to telling someone else, it’s almost scary. Even if that ‘someone else’ is my best friend.

I slowly shake my head, tutting quietly to myself. I place my phone on top of the table beside my bed. I guess tonight, I’m going to be a coward. Once I set my phone down, I place one of the cookies and the bag of chips onto a free space on the table. Nibbling lightly at the first cookie, I sneak a glance towards my brother on his bed. He’s sitting under the covers himself, his laptop resting on top of his legs. I narrow my eyes at him, taking in his appearance for a brief moment or so. His eyelids appear to be heavy, as though he has a lot on his mind currently.

“…Seriously, what are you staring at?”

I blink, snapping out of my state of observation. I must have been looking for too long. _Good job, Rin. Idiot._ I let out a long sigh, averting my eyes at that moment. “Nothing,” I bluntly say, before taking another bite of the cookie in my hand. Geez, this is awkward as hell. I can just hear the hatred for me in his voice, and almost feel those piercing eyes digging into the side of my face.

“It’s obviously not ‘nothing’ if you’re staring like that,” Len remarks, and he probably just rolled his eyes.

I grit my teeth together in frustration, resisting the urge to clench my fists and crush the cookie in my hand in the process. Fuck this. I _do_ have the energy to fight him tonight. “Okay, fine. I was staring. Because I was trying to figure out what the _fuck_ is wrong with your head right now…!” I lash out, the volume of my voice growing loud already. As I shout at him, I turn to glare at him with challenging, menacing eyes.

“That’s ironic, considering you’re the one who’s fucked up so badly,” Len scoffs, and though his volume doesn’t grow as loud as my first shout, I can hear the same level of burning anger in his tone. “But yeah, I’m the one who has a problem. Honestly, you drive me insane most of the time, Rin.”

I’m appalled to hear such words coming from him, of all people. “You’re the biggest fucking hypocrite I’ve ever met!” I snarl in disgust, throwing away the food in my hand recklessly, hoping it lands on top of the bedside table. This time, my fists clench at my sides without a problem.

“And you’re the most pathetically naïve and desperate girl I’ve ever met,” Len shoots back, and that cuts deep. After so confidently denying that he never thought of me as desperate, those words pierce into my heart like a freshly sharpened knife. With that, he calmly closes his laptop and shifts it onto the floor. “Honestly, are you really that stupid? You can’t be, can you? Going over to the house of a boy you hardly know, after being so delusional to think you’re seriously dating – especially when it’s only been for two days.”

If I grit my teeth together any harder, I’ll probably break something. And if I dig my nails any deeper into the skin of my tightened fists, I’ll end up leaving harsh marks. I breathe heavily, my cheeks burning in humiliation and anger, all while fresh tears sting my eyes. He doesn’t know the half of it. But right now, I can’t find the strength to admit the truth. “I’m _aware_ of how badly I fucked up. You don’t need to rub it in…! You see, that’s your problem. Just when I think you might have a shred of empathy left inside you, you flip that in an instant and begin to make fun of every aspect of my life! I don’t fucking understand anymore, Len.”

My brother simply lets out a scoff, shaking his head slowly before opening his mouth to respond. His tone is blunt, but the affect his words have on me end up feeling razor sharp. “Well, I guess I really do just hate you. Maybe I’ve just been pitying you this whole time.” Though he speaks casually and shrugs his shoulders as if these words mean nothing, it causes me to finally break down.

I stare at him, lacking energy to even widen my eyes in shock after hearing those words. “You… You’re a fucking asshole…!” I hiss my insulting words out weakly, and my entire body has become pretty much numb. And suddenly, the only feeling I have… is the strong urge to vomit, perhaps caused by all the fear from earlier, and the ongoing, intense body tremors. There’s no stopping it this time. My eyes growing wide properly this time, I clamp a palm over my mouth instinctively and rush to pull the covers off my body with my free hand. The argument is cut short – very short. Without taking a moment to look at my brother, and even drowning out his words, I make an urgent dash out of the room. Talk about an awful day.

…

[Len Kagamine’s P.O.V]

It’s now Tuesday, the day directly after that whole disaster. The truth is, I pretty much forced myself to say such spiteful things to her, after repeatedly refusing to listen to her story from that night. But I remind myself that this is for the best. If Rin hates me, it makes everything easier for the both of us. Of course, it had never been my intention to make her ill last night. I don’t even want to begin to imagine what happened between her and Kaito. I truly do want to listen to her, but I can’t give in now. I already swore to myself to toughen up my methods, and so I did.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not hurting. In fact, it feels quite like I’ve been stabbed. I don’t _know_ how that feels precisely, but I’m imagining it as extremely agonising. My heart aches terribly for the amount of sadness I’ve inflicted upon her. I feel like I’m going to quite literally die if I don’t apologise profusely and pull her into a long, warm, reassuring hug. I feel like I’ve failed to protect her if I don’t go and beat the shit out of that scum Kaito. I’ve always felt this way, though. Well, a whole three years really does feel like ‘always’. I’ve been training myself to toughen up and become harsh ever since I realised the truth that day.

_I was only twelve years old at the time – possibly only three or four months away from my thirteenth birthday. I was extremely excited during the run-up to my birthday; thirteen really felt like a special, grown-up number. At that age, children becoming teenagers always felt this way. Anyway, back then, everything was normal. I was just as bubbly and as bright as my twin sister. We were often labelled as ‘double trouble’ and other things similar to that, specifically by teachers and other grown-ups. We played many pranks together, and had such a strong bond – it was unbreakable._

_Although we were told of a thing called ‘adolescence’, it never really affected me last year, which was when it was supposedly going to start kicking in. I was told by Father I might start feeling ‘something warm’ in my heart when I spend time with other girls. He said it was natural, that it was a thing called a ‘crush’, and I should try my best to make the most of it, to gain minor, mostly cute experiences. But I never developed one of those._

_I ended up ignoring what Father had told me, just accepting that I probably wouldn’t get a crush for a long time. But my parents couldn’t have possibly prepared me for the day my first crush began to develop. In fact, no one could have prepared me. She was always by my side, so it was natural that I’d care deeply for her. We did everything together, and I considered her my best friend, not just someone relatively close. But my poor, confused mind didn’t fully accept these ‘crush’-like feelings for a long time. I thought it was normal… Until our thirteenth birthday. There was a day when I felt an unexplainable, solid tension between her and I. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. That’s when I knew I had a problem; a serious problem. I desperately tried to rationalise my feelings, after gaining a bit more maturity and sense of awareness during those four months. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, nothing worked. I beat myself up almost daily about it, conflicted between telling her the truth, and keeping my mouth shut at all costs. It was wrong. It was immoral and inconceivable, in every sense of the words. I couldn’t have feelings for my best friend._

_I couldn’t have feelings for my twin sister._

_I thought there was something wrong with my head. I thought I was sick. I tried to blame it on confusion brought on by adolescence, and when that didn’t work, I put it down to my mental health. If it wasn’t confusion, it would have to be a problem with myself psychologically. No matter what it was, I realised that I could only do one thing to stop us from ever crossing that forbidden boundary. I had to shatter that once unbreakable bond we shared our entire life. I hated myself for developing feelings for my own sister. I think that contributed deeply to the breakdown of my once bright personality._

_I had to distance myself from Rin. I had to do everything I could to make sure she never got too close to me again. My methods started off in a way that didn’t hurt her, but only myself. I started to pick fights with her at random times. I ruined days out with our family. I ‘accidentally’ broke some toys that belonged to her. I did little things like that, over the course of what felt like forever. And of course, halfway into our brand-new learning year at school, Luka had transferred in._

_At that point in time, I had already fallen into the deep end. No matter how much I tried to aggravate and provoke my sister, she always forgave me. And I fell hard for her. I felt physically sick at myself every single day, and I tried so hard to stop – but all that effort only worsened my mental health. I grew colder. I shut people out. There were still times where I could have one good day, just to make Rin feel happy again. But I only did that for her sake. I truly felt nothing on the inside, apart from burning self-loathing and disgust. Of course, the only other thing I felt apart from emptiness, was that helpless, desperate love for my sister._

Everything I say to her now, I don’t mean it. But I’ve become so frantic to find a solution before I drive myself into an early grave. I’ve struggled with these conflicts for three years now, and every single day has been Hell. Which is why I’ve resorted to outright insulting her, ensuring she despises me for the rest of our days. I want to push her to completely cut me out of her life when we’re adults. As much as I want to hold her in my arms, it’ll only make things more complicated. She’ll never feel the same way as me, because she’s not messed up in the head. But I am.

I think the argument we had last night has caused her to stop speaking to me altogether again. I hope she stays away for at least a few days now. It won’t ease the pain and conflicts in my heart, but it’ll be better for her if she keeps her distance. It may hurt her now, and she may never understand why, but in the end, this is what’s best for her. I know my sister well enough to realise this is the only thing that can be done. One day, her heart will recover from the things I’ve said to her, and she’ll find peace. She’ll be able to move on. Only I will be stuck with this eternal torment, and that’s okay. It’s what I deserve; a lifetime of enduring hellfire, for the dark sins I’ve touched upon.

I can’t bring myself to fully shut Rin out just yet, though. That’s why in the past, I’ve sort of flipped my personality, just so she can have one more day of happiness. So, she can have one more fond memory of the times when things were alright between us. After everything that’s happened, I don’t think I can grant her any more of those fond memories. The last time things were normal was that day we showed our newly formed dance to our friends. Yeah... That’s going to be a special memory for her, for sure.

Even though I want to push Rin away… That _doesn’t, for a single second,_ mean I’m going to let Kaito get away with what he’s done to her. After my sister fell sick last night, Mother assumed that she ate something bad, and insisted that she stayed home to recover. That’s rather convenient for me. Now, I’m not going to be an idiot and slam Kaito into a locker, just like I did with Luka two years ago. But I’m still not going to be smart and let him walk away unharmed.

Although there had been some undeniable, unspeakable hatred between Kaito and I when he first pretended to have a crush on Rin, I don’t think he’s smart enough to detect there’s a real problem. And so, I use his pathetically small mind to my advantage. I take a friendly approach, sending a few casual texts to Kaito while making my way to school.

‘Hey, man. Do you mind meeting me outside the school gates this morning? I want to talk about something, if that’s cool.’ Slyly typing out something as vague as that, I press the send button a moment after.

It only takes about a couple minutes for his response to come through. ‘Sure, no problem. Btw, is Rin okay? She hasn’t texted me this morning yet.’ Featuring a rather lame sad face emoji at the end of his text, I resist the urge to groan as I read. Of course, she hasn’t texted you, dickhead. I don’t know what you’ve done to her, bastard, but I’ll make you pay regardless for messing her around.

‘Yeah, she’s okay. She just came down with a 24-hour cold during the night, so she’s staying at home.’ I decide to present the truth to him, knowing there’s no way he’ll catch on about my intentions. So, even if he knows he’ll have no one to back him up, he’ll still come to meet me either way. Fucking idiot. I slide my phone back into my bag, not really bothered at this point if I miss a response from him. I dig my hands into my pockets after, and make the rest of the way to school.

When I approach the school gates, I catch sight of Kaito standing not too far away from the entrance. He’s under one of the trees that surrounds the school, but once I come a bit closer, I see that he’s definitely not standing alone. I scoff lightly to myself, shaking my head at my moment of naïveté. I can’t believe that, for a split second, I thought he’d show up alone. It’s only Piko, though, so my confidence remains unshaken. I move towards the tree, standing a few spaces opposite the two. I try to plaster on a normal enough expression for just the beginning.

“Well, morning, Len. Hope you don’t mind, but Piko and I had walked to school together,” Kaito says, greeting me in the most fake pleasant tone I’ve ever heard. Tch. This bastard isn’t gullible at all. That air-headed innocence is all an act, and I’m pissed off at myself for allowing myself to believe he’d willingly meet me after whatever he did to my sister.

“No, not at all.” I wave my hand in a dismissive manner, before pulling my other hand from my pocket. I lower my hands to my sides, and decide to get straight to the point. “So… You two think you have the freedom to make stupid bets about my sister? Treating her like property, to see who can claim her first?”

Kaito and Piko glance at each other, and they seem to smirk in unison. Kaito speaks first, denying all knowledge and acting dumb. “Bet? Len, my friend… I don’t know why you’d think that. Rin is our good friend, too, you know.”

I take in a breath, resisting the urge to knock him out right then and there. I want to hear him talk some more first. Even though it’ll be shit, I want to hear his explanation as to why he thinks he can walk all over my sister the way he did. Uncontrollably, though, I end up lightly tightening one of my fists at my side. “You can drop the act. I heard what you said yesterday. You’re only interested in her body, sick bastard.”

Piko snickers at my words, and that makes me want to deal with both of them now. “I mean, obviously. Anyway, if your sister wasn’t such a desperate slut to start off with, there’d be no need for this bet at all.”

“Agh…!” I can’t help but sharply gasp in shock as Piko so casually labels my sister a ‘slut’. My fist tightens some more, and before either of us can realise what’s about to happen, I thrust my arm up and forcefully connect my knuckles to the area under that silver-haired boy’s chin. The sheer amount of strength, born out of burning rage and disgust, is enough to send him tumbling backwards a good few steps and straight onto his backside. Even I’m stunned from my impulse hit, but I regain my composure and act as if I was going to do that all along. I turn my sharp eyes to Kaito.

Piko can be heard moaning in pain, and he begins to yell all sorts of things at me. But he can’t do anything. He can’t get up, it seems. The fall must have left some damage, as his backside landed on the grass, but his back connected for the first second against the concrete path joined to the grass.

I can see a slight sparkle of worry reflected in Kaito’s eyes. So, only now he realises just how much he’s fucked up. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on him. He’s the one who hurt my sister – I just wanted to give a good warning to Piko for getting involved in something so horrible. I lower my fist to my side once more, and though it’s throbbing from connecting to someone’s chin, its form remains tight in endurance. “Are you going to call her a slut, too? Or maybe you’re going to try and pull some bullshit about how much she ‘wanted it’.” I challenge him to speak.

Kaito visibly gulps, and he waves his hands in front of himself defensively. That’s funny. He thinks he has the right to ask for forgiveness. “Hey, I don’t know what she said to you, but I didn’t try anything weird with her…! I’m sorry for the bet, alright? But I’d never actually take it so far.”

I don’t believe that for a second. Kaito uselessly begins to ramble about the bet, about his poor little feelings, and all that. And quite frankly, it’s making me grow bored. I’m sick of hearing him running his mouth. I don’t remove my glare from him the entire time he rants, so that the next blow will be as unexpected as Piko’s. And that rat on the ground is just watching with wide, helpless eyes.

“You know, we’ve been friends for a long time. I’d never just-…”

Scoffing lightly to myself, I cut his words short. I throw that same throbbing fist forward, catching Kaito off guard. I make contact with his gut, slamming my fist right into him without holding back at all. At this point, no one has come rushing over to break this up, so I can only assume the other students are all inside the building. And as soon as I retract my fist from him, he immediately wraps his arms around the affected area. But that does no good, as he topples forward onto his knees with a disturbingly loud slam, and that’s followed by a wheezing cough. Knocked the air right out of him. That’ll shut him up for a while.

“Jesus, man, you’re a fucking psycho! We didn’t lay a hand on your sister, so what the hell are you beating us up for?” Piko seems to recover from the shock of being slammed with a fist under the chin. Sadly, it hasn’t rattled his brain like I wanted it to.

I turn my now blank eyes to the pathetic male, looking down on him. It’s true. There may be something wrong with me if I can so easily resort to violence without feeling an ounce of empathy. Or perhaps my desire to protect my sister is so strong, that any morals I hold are wiped out altogether. Whatever it is, I don’t think he’s in any place to judge someone’s mental state, considering he wanted to emotionally manipulate and toy with Rin, without his own trace of empathy. In that case, perhaps we’re no better than each other. But I don’t care.

Kaito splutters some more, as he feebly tries to catch his breath after such a harsh blow to his stomach. It’s not even amusing to see him in this state. I just pity him, shifting my glance between the two scum with empty eyes. I’m merely teaching them a lesson to respect another person’s emotions. He draws in a sharp, deep breath, and then stares up to me with surprisingly brave eyes. “Y-You’re… you’re not going to get away with doing this. You know that, right…?” He speaks in a low whisper, attempting to sound intimidating. “You think that bitch is safe just because you’re taking care of us? You’re… way more pathetic than I thought, Kagamine…”

I simply scoff, knowing he’s just talking a load of bullshit. No one else is out to get my sister like these two. “You’re awfully brave for someone who just got punched in the stomach,” I blankly respond, almost finding his confidence funny. “I’m going to leave you at that. But maybe I’ll change my mind later, who knows. This is the only warning I’m gonna give you, boys. Take it or ignore it, I don’t care.” Satisfied with my actions for now, I leave the two to their pain on the ground. I turn on my heels, digging my hands back into my pockets, and begin to walk through the school gates.

If they’re wise, they’ll listen to my rather lenient warning. If not, I don’t think I’ll be able to resist giving them the locker treatment. This is my last act of kindness for my sister. They shouldn’t bother her again, and hopefully she can just go about the rest of her days at school peacefully with her best friends.

…


	9. Truth Hurts

**Chapter Nine: Truth Hurts**

…

As the school day begins to pass by, and it comes around to lunch time, I find it unsurprising that I’m left alone by the other friends in our group. Kaito and Piko likely won’t be returning to our group; Meiko is still unwilling to listen to me. So, since this doesn’t really bother me, I find a small table by myself in the school cafeteria. It’s only been about ten minutes since lunch began, but I soon find myself snapped out of my daydream-like state, hearing a voice.

“Hey, Len…”

I blink, before lifting my eyes up. Standing there is Miku, holding a tray of food and looking a bit shy. Either Rin hasn’t told her about what happened, or she just feels sorry for me. Letting a light sigh pass my lips, I decide not to be rude to her. Even though she’s the one who invited Luka over on my birthday. Perhaps there had been a reason. “Hey.”

She sighs in a saddened tone, setting her tray down onto the table and pulling out a chair beside me. She sets herself down, averting her glance. “…what’s happened to everyone, Len? We were all so happy. I think I’m responsible for ruining it.”

I uncontrollably give a scoff in response, as if to say, ‘no, really?’. Well, I feel like she’s partly responsible. “Seems like it’s just all been bad timing. I take it Rin’s told you everything?”

“Mm…” Miku slowly nods, mumbling in agreement. “But I’m trying to support both of you, still. Sounds like there’s faults on both sides, you know?”

“I don’t need your sympathy or pity, if that’s what you’re getting at,” I bluntly say. I’m not in the mood for that at all.

“No- It’s not that…” Miku speaks up in a self-defensive tone, lifting her eyes up to meet mine. I can see a hint of seriousness reflected in those sad, dull eyes. “Even though I can’t fix what Kaito and Piko have done… I still feel like I’m the one who broke the peace between us all first.”

Under normal circumstances, I probably would have ignored her. But it seems like this time, she wants to give a full explanation as to why she brought Luka back into our lives. That’s something I can’t ignore, after how much it messed with us on that day. But that doesn’t mean I still won’t be pissed off at Miku and Luka after that explanation. “Well, go on.” I urge her to start talking, but she appears to be hesitant.

“Um… Maybe it’d be better if I told you after school. Do you want to… meet outside the school gates, or something?” she shyly requests. I raise a brow, considering the request for a couple of moments. “I promise, I’ll explain everything.”

I let out a long sigh. This may be a total waste of time, but there’s potential for a lot to be uncovered at last. After thinking for no longer than a few seconds, I make an impulse decision. “Alright. But only because I thought of you as a friend once.” I admit, she could easily lie to me. I’m well aware of that fact. I won’t be fooled by that look of innocence, not after what happened this morning. But if this explanation can help my sister find some closure after those events in the past… It’s worth a shot.

…

[Miku Hatsune’s P.O.V]

I’ve always tried my best to be a neutral party. I want to be there for anyone who needs help, as long as their circumstances explains their behaviour. Sometimes, even the cruellest of bullies needs a true friend. I believe that everyone should be a given a second chance, if they’re willing to take it and change. Over the past couple of years, the one who’s needed my help most is… Luka Megurine. Our friendship goes back to about a month before Luka left school for the first time.

Luka is a very sweet girl. She’s so pure-hearted… and a little broken on the inside. At first, I wasn’t sure if she could really change. But I was determined to help her out, after finally getting her to tell me her circumstances. At this point in time, she doesn’t want to talk about her past to anyone except me. Ever since she returned to school, I’ve tried to convince her to open up, even if it’s only to her other friends. But she’s still afraid.

_The first time she and I spoke, it wasn’t even planned, in a way. I bumped into her, coincidentally. In the girl’s bathroom at school, of all places. When I walked in to make a quick bathroom stop, I noticed her standing there; her palms pressed tightly against the sides of a sink, her head lowered and her hair covering her eyes._

_I couldn’t help but quietly gasp in concern – it certainly seemed like she was crying, or had just stopped. Luka and I hadn’t talked to each other much since she transferred into this school. Rin and Meiko said she ‘was just like the others’, but that only made me more determined to try and befriend her. I just never found the right time to approach her, since she was always hanging around with Lily and the rest of them. But now that she appeared to be in need of comfort…_

“ _Luka?” I quietly spoke up, taking a step into the bathroom. Immediately, her head snapped up, and I was met with pained, reddened eyes. She glared at me menacingly, as though wordlessly ordering me to leave and not say a word to anyone about this sight. But I knew she was vulnerable, and being caught in tears would be rather embarrassing. Especially since the one who caught her was seen as an outcast._

_She sniffled, violently wiping the back of her hand over one eye, then the other. She was trying to hurriedly get rid of the visual evidence. But her puffy red eyes and darkened cheeks remained. “Wh-What the hell are-…? Ugh, never mind. Don’t you dare tell anyone I was here!” She tried to yell at me, but shook her head halfway through her sentence, and barked an order right at me._

_A frown pulled at my lips. It was upsetting to see her like this. Considering I knew just how much of a bully she could be, I later figured she probably had some troubles at home. Or even troubles with relationships. No matter what it was, I knew she wasn’t truly mean-hearted. I took another step forward, edging a bit closer to the female. “I didn’t know you were here or anything…” I spoke up, in case she thought I had followed her, or something like that. “I just…”_

“ _Ugh…!” She scoffed in irritation, turning to face the mirror again. She swiftly reached into her bag, and rummaged around for a few moments. I tilted my head to the side in curiosity, wondering what she could be doing._

“ _Did… something happen?”_

_Luka ignored my prying question, and began to rummage in a more frustrated manner, as though her patience was growing thin. But she wasn’t annoyed at me. She let out a piercing shriek in a matter of moments, and harshly shoved her bag off the sink and onto the bathroom floor._

_My eyes grew wide as I witnessed this. The contents of her open bag flew out towards me, but stopped short. The rest of her belongings, such as small personal items, slowly rolled out after. She obviously wanted to be left alone, but how could I do that, after all that? “Luka…” I didn’t know how to approach her, though._

_She slammed a palm back onto the side of the sink, and pressed her other palm against her forehead. Pushing her fringe upwards and out of the way of her eyes, she lowered her head once more and sobbed through heavy breathing. “Stupid… stupid make-up…! I forgot my stupid mascara, of all days!” Even though on the surface, she was throwing a tantrum over something so trivial, the issue clearly went deeper than that._

_Taking in a breath, I bravely took some more steps forward, until I was standing just next to the sink beside her. I hesitantly reached my hand out, and when she looked up at me to connect our glances, she wordlessly gave me permission to finally comfort her. Lightly smiling, I gently rested my palm on her shoulder, and spoke in a low tone. “Hey… it’s just make-up… I’m sure you’ll still look lovely without it, after you get all cleaned up.”_

_Luka quietly laughed, though it still sounded rather bitter. She then sighed, pulling her head back up. She gazed into the mirror, not taking her eyes off her pitiable reflection as she answered. “I don’t know who to turn to, Miku. Those so-called friends out there… they wouldn’t understand. None of them would.”_

_I narrowed my eyes slightly, beginning to wonder just how severe the situation was. “You can talk to me, if you want… Nothing you say will leave this bathroom. Promise.” I tried to be as sincere as possible, but wasn’t sure if it’d work. Of course, I’d definitely keep my mouth shut about her personal problems. However, with her current mood… “I’d love to try and help.”_

_She fell silent for quite some time. Her eyes were still helplessly fixed on her reflection. I respected that silence, knowing she must have been pushing herself to find the right words. After a few seconds, or maybe longer, she hesitantly spoke. “It’s just… my parents, actually.” She lifted her head up, pulling her expressionless eyes from the mirror._

_A frown pulled at my lips as I heard these words. In that moment, I considered myself to be rather lucky – my parents always got along. We were always a happy family. And hearing this from Luka, I realised not everyone has that kind of luck. “Oh…?”_

_She turned on her heels, so that she could rest her back against the sink. She folded her arms over her chest, gazing in a random direction as she continued. “Well… Honestly, they’ve never really been close. But lately, everything’s been so much worse between them. My mom always starts these huge fights with my dad, and…” Her words trailed off, and her eyes dropped to the floor. She must have been fighting some sort of harsh memory. “We have no idea what’s going on with her. She always says it’s just stress. But… I dunno if I can believe that.”_

_I listened to her words carefully, nodding along when appropriate. It really was an upsetting situation. She continued, explaining a few different scenarios where her mother erupted with anger out of nowhere. How it’d all be over within a couple of days, and then how that cycle would repeat. She then went on to tell me how this time was different compared to the other fights. It had apparently been three whole days since her mother started the argument, and it seemed like she wasn’t going to give in for a while._

_We spent the remainder of our lunch break in the bathroom, just talking together. Not many other students came along; when one or two came in, we just acted like we were talking about something light-hearted. Apart from that, I felt like I really got to know more about Luka. She was no bully. She was just breaking on the inside. She told me whatever she could think of regarding her family, such as their situation when she was a child, and all that. Apparently, it was her father’s idea to transfer into our school, so they could ‘get a fresh start’ and try to build a better family relationship._

_Ever since that day, I suppose Luka thought she could trust me. We exchanged phone numbers as that lunch break ended, and after that, we began to meet up every other day to discuss some more things. Most days, we talked about minor things going on in our lives. But soon, Luka’s life at home began to spiral way out of control._

_It took a few weeks for it to get to a breaking point. Even I was shocked into silence. It was just something so unheard of. I had no idea how to react. Luka reluctantly confessed to me that her mother had been having an affair for years… with another woman. I could understand Luka’s building rage at finding out the truth. She eventually opened up more and more; screamed and cried, lamenting how it wasn’t fair. Her mother had thrown away her precious family and revealed she never truly loved her husband. Worst of all, she apparently had said she regretted giving birth to her own daughter, as well._

_I was shocked and disgusted all at once. To think a mother could say something so awful about her own child, and to think she could just throw it all away. Naturally, she developed a strong hatred towards anyone else who came out as lesbian or gay, or even bisexual. I tried so hard to stop that hatred from growing, but she refused to listen to me. After that, she and I eventually fell out. She said she didn’t want my help anymore; she felt like I was constantly nagging and judging her. In the end, she never told me she was transferring out of school._

_I thought we were close. Really close. As ashamed as I was, my stupid heart… began to develop strange feelings for her. I felt the strong urge to protect her – to hold her close and reassure her that everything would turn out alright. But due to her situation, that was obviously a very bad idea. However, I couldn’t stop my feelings, no matter how pathetic and shameful they were. I wanted to beg her to stay; beg her to not leave me. But, in the end… I’m glad she could never find out my true feelings._

Now that she’s back… It’s hard for me to look her in the eyes. Those feelings are still faintly there, but I know they’re bound to return with full force soon. Aside from all that, I had been the one to invite Luka over to Rin’s house on the twins’ birthday. I had been really excited that she was returning – I still am overjoyed. I suggested we all try to start over, and that we all do something fun together as a group of friends. But of course, that had been foolish.

Luka is now a cold, unforgiving bully. Her gentle, friendly side may never return. But at the very least, I had to explain everything to Len.

…

[Len Kagamine’s P.O.V]

Miku and I have been sitting outside the school gates for about half an hour now, underneath one of those tall trees surrounding the area. A few stray leaves gently twirled downwards while we talked. By the end of Miku’s long explanation, more like a story, I’m left pretty much speechless. I’m surprised to hear Luka actually has such an upsetting life at home. But it seems like she still holds no remorse for her actions, since she’s continuing to be a bitch and all. Sure, it’s tragic. I’d probably lose it if something like that happened with my parents. But is that really a good enough excuse for the way she’s acting? Call me a hypocrite, with my own fucked up situation… Damn it, though. I don’t know how to feel about all this.

Miku falls silent for a while, too. She seems to be upset just by reliving everything. That’s surprising, too. I had no idea Miku even talked to Luka before this. I just assumed Luka decided to return out of nowhere, and she bullied Miku into inviting that group of minions to our house. Well, that’s one problem down, I guess. But I still can’t find it in my heart to forgive Luka for the way she treated Rin.

I personally don’t give a shit if her mother was a closet lesbian and left after wasting her years on an unwanted family. That gives her no right to just hate every single gay or bisexual person; especially if that bisexual person is my sister. What Luka did on that day will always be unforgivable in my eyes. And I’ll always put my sister’s hardships over that pink-haired bitch. But just to keep the peace with Miku, I’ll act like I’ve forgiven her along with Luka.

Not particularly keen on talking with her anymore, I wrap up our conversation rather quickly, making an excuse that I have to be home at a certain time. It’s not like I want to hurry and face my sister either, though. I desperately just need some time to myself – everything has been a lot more exhausting lately. So, I stand up from the grass, say goodbye to Miku, and begin to trail myself slowly down the path to home.

I take a slow walk back home, taking in the scenery surrounding me, while trying to block out quite a few negative thoughts. Today has been hard without Rin – but I know it can’t feel any worse than this. It’ll take a while to adjust to her not being by my side, I know that for a fact. But it can’t hurt any more than it did today. At least, I hope so. It was an extremely difficult decision to make, but it’s the price I have to pay for feeling this way about her.

Soon, I find myself outside my house. I narrow my eyes, staring at the front door in an almost reluctant manner. It’s almost like I can’t face up to everything I’ve done. After a couple of moments, I let out a heavy sigh and shake my head. I push the door open, entering the house. Once inside, I kick my shoes off and head straight for my bedroom. If Rin is there, I’ll just have to ignore her. I can’t focus on her. I need to somehow get rid of these feelings.

I approach the bedroom door, feeling a little more nervous as I reach out to the handle. I quietly enter the room; as I step inside, my eyes are drawn towards my sister’s bed. My heart begins to pound faster in my chest as I see exactly what she’s doing. There’s an open suitcase lying on top of her bed, and it looks like she’s folding up clothes to put inside. “What… what the hell?”

I can’t stop myself from saying this out-loud, in a tone of disbelief and shock. Rin immediately spins around on her heels, a cold yet broken look in her eyes. She glares right at me, and she remains silent for what feels like the longest time.

I’m so confused. Why does it seem like she’s leaving? It can’t be for good, can it? If it is, then… Fuck, this is all my fault. I should have comforted her last night. Not even just last night – I should have comforted her every single time she needed me. I shouldn’t have pushed her away. _I’m such a moron…!_ I clench my fists by my sides as I internally scold myself, but I immediately snap out of it to speak to my sister. “Rin, what- Geez, what the hell are you doing?”

She lowers her glance, pulling her eyes from mine. She stares down to her feet, and it’s obvious she feels guilty. But I feel it the most. She draws in a breath, before answering in a shaky, low tone. “I can’t handle all this stress right now, Len. I’ve never been able to handle it, really. But I’ve had enough of it. I can’t stay here any longer – because of _you!_ ” Those cruel, yet painfully true words pierce right into my heart. They slam against the wall of ice surrounding my heart, and it cracks, and I feel a flood of emotions for the first time in a long time. I knew she would say something like that. But to actually hear it… makes me feel incredibly nauseous and sort of light-headed.

“R-Rin, you… you can’t possibly mean it…” I stutter my words, spitting out those pathetic, desperate words. I’m a moron. A complete, utter moron. I can’t believe I’m trying to play the victim, after the way I’ve treated my beloved sister over the years. But I have no idea what else I’m supposed to say. Do I tell her the truth? No, that could easily cause her to become even more broken. That could easily lead her to despise me even more.

She snaps her eyes up to me again, and I can see her grit her teeth together in frustration. She’s trying not to lose control of her anger, I can see that. She breathes in deeply, hissing her words instead. “You must be fucking joking. If you must know, I spoke to Mother about everything. I told her how you’ve been treating me. She’s pissed at you, but not as much as I am. That’s why she suggested I should take a break.”

I don’t even care that I’m in trouble with my parents, after they saw me as the ‘perfect’ son. That’s the least of my worries. I’m just struggling to wrap my head around all this. I’m left speechless, having no clue what to say. I can’t beg for forgiveness. I can’t tell her I’m in love with her. I can’t do anything. Is this really the end…? God, this fucking hurt. My chest is so tight. I’m even fighting back the stinging sensation in my eyes. “Rin, if you just… let me explain…”

“Fuck you,” she snarls in response. “I’m not listening to you anymore. I’m not giving you any more chances. I need to be away from you, for good. I can’t bear to be in the same house as you. I can’t bear to walk the same halls as that bitch Luka; the same halls as that… that sick, evil bastard Kaito! I can’t do it anymore!” Her words eventually grow louder as she lashes out at me, and by now, I can see tears streaming down her cheeks. I desperately want to pull her into a tight embrace and calm her down. But I can’t.

“Rin, please…” I whisper, defeated. If I hadn’t been broken before, this is definitely my breaking point now. I was okay with not being able to spend time with Rin every day – she’d still physically be around, at home and at school. But now she’s not going to be around at all. I’m not sure if I can handle that.

“I’m going to be staying with one of Mother’s sisters, in a different part of the country. I’ll be getting a new phone, but even so, don’t you _dare_ try to contact me while I’m there. As far as I’m concerned… I have no brother.”

Those last words cut even deeper, and the guilt I feel inside grows stronger. It’s unbearable. I bite down onto my lower lip, though since I’m trying not to shed any tears, I almost end up making my lip start to bleed from the force of the bite. Rin turns back to face the suitcase on her bed, and she says nothing else to me. I stand there, trembling on the spot like an idiot. There’s so much I want to say, but I’m terrified. I’m speechless; it’s like I’m paralysed. I physically can’t speak.

I’m left with the heart-breaking reality that I have to let Rin go. There’s no way I can stop her now. This is what I deserve, isn’t it? This is my punishment. I’ve always accepted the mental torture as punishment for being in love with my sister, but now a physical punishment has arrived. I knew it would come sooner or later, just not like this. If only I was normal… If only I didn’t love my sister.

…

I’m sitting at the dinner table with Mother and Father. They haven’t said a word to me about Rin just yet. They’re probably waiting until we’ve finished dinner, then they’re most likely going to give me a long lecture, before demanding an explanation. I don’t know what to tell them at this point. It might be less shocking if I just told the truth. No, of course there’s no way I can really tell my parents the truth. I’ll have to come up with another bullshit reason. Story of my life.

Dinner is painfully silent. We all eat our food without a single word being uttered. Rin is the first to finish, and understandably, she dismisses herself as fast as possible. I let out a sigh, knowing my parents have been waiting for Rin to leave, so they can begin to lecture me. Once my sister can be heard heading up the stairs, I quietly place my fork down onto my plate, leaving a bit less than half of my meal. I’m not too hungry, after all the stress and shock, so I leave it.

It’s as if that’s the cue my parents have been waiting for. I glance up, to see the two of them exchange glances. Then, they place their forks down at the same time, and their glares dig right into me. I understand they’re pissed off and all, but do they really have to be _this_ serious? I let out a heavy sigh and prepare myself to endure their endless shouting and such.

They ask the usual. They want to know why I’ve done such horrible things to Rin; why I’ve said so many hurtful things when they’re not around. How I could be such a terrible brother, etc. They go on about how Rin doesn’t deserve all this, and how they’re extremely angry at me; saying they don’t know how to forgive me. I already know all of this. I already know how true this all is. But I suppose I’m far too fucked up and broken at this point, so I silently nod and agree where necessary with them, taking the blame.

They then go on to ask me why I did it all. They demand to know what’s been going on inside my head. Since I have no idea what to say, I just make something up. Something convincing enough. I tell them that I’ve just grown up and drifted apart from Rin – that I don’t particularly like her anymore, and just felt the need to let her know. Naturally, that answer doesn’t please my parents at all. It makes them even more pissed off at me, and so, the shouting begins again. Eventually, after around half an hour, my parents ultimately decide I’m a lost cause and punish me the harshest they can. That only ends up being restrictions on my time outside of school, though. So, not a big deal. No punishment can be worse than losing Rin.

They inform me that Rin is being taken to the train station tomorrow. That part shocks me the most out of the whole conversation. I don’t even have time to try and convince her to change her mind. She’s being driven to the station by Father early in the morning, so, I most likely won’t even see her leave. I won’t get to say goodbye. She’s going to refuse to speak to me if I try anymore tonight. I think it’s time for me to just accept that this is truly the end. They tell me she’s going to be gone for at least three years; they’ll be taking many occasional visits to see her. But I won’t be allowed that privilege. Of course not. I don’t know what I’ll do without her.

…

When I make my way back up to my room later that night, I enter quietly, knowing Rin might already be asleep. I can’t bring myself to be angry at her. It’s my own fault, after all. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that she’s going to be out of my life for a long time. But I have to endure those three years, holding onto the faint hope that she’ll come back to me.

Just as I expected – Rin is tucked peacefully into bed, sound asleep. Her suitcase is leaning against the wardrobe, and I assume she’s all done with packing. As hard as this is going to be, I’m starting to think this might be the best thing for both of us. She won’t have to deal with the burden of my sinful feelings, and I’ll very slowly be able to move on. Maybe I can finally become normal when Rin isn’t around. It’s just upsetting that the only way for us to be happy… is for us to be apart.

I let out a soft sigh, flicking the light switch off. The only light source that remains is Rin’s small bedside lamp. I can’t help but smile, moving towards my bed and then setting myself down. I can’t stop myself from gaze admiringly at my beautiful sister. God, I love her so much. It’s going to be so hard, even though it’s the best thing for us. She looks so peaceful and even happy when in the land of dreams. I should have been better to her. There’s so much I could have done for her.

Knowing she’s usually a heavy sleeper, I begin to whisper words of confession to my sister. Even though she’s not awake, she deserves to hear. Maybe there’s a chance she hears me… And she’ll take the truth with her when she leaves tomorrow. “I’m so sorry, Rin. For everything. The Len you knew was not who I wanted to be at all… I wanted to comfort you, hug you, help you through your hardest days. Not just flip-flop between those personalities.”

I lower my glance, unable to even look at her precious face, despite her being asleep. I don’t deserve to take in her beauty. She needs someone who’ll truly appreciate her. “I was just… scared. I couldn’t bear the thought of you hating me, but… I had to make sure you’d never get too close to me. I’m in love with you, Rin. In so many more ways than a brother should be. It’s so wrong… But to me, you’re so perfect. Your bright blue eyes are breath-taking and beautiful. Your smile melts my heart every time. But I understand you’d never be able to look at me the same way again if I told you the truth.”

I can feel that stinging sensation in my eyes again. Don’t cry. Be strong for her. I take in a deep breath, regaining my composure. “I want to hold you in my arms… run my fingers through your soft hair, stroke your cheek… I want to be able to kiss your lips, and to tell you everything will be okay someday. But it’s so, so wrong. So forbidden. So, I tried to get you to hate me… and I finally succeeded. This is finally it, Rin. You won’t have to think about me again. I love you so much… that I can finally feel confident in letting you go.”

I stop myself from giving her a kiss goodnight on the cheek. I used to do that sometimes. But right now, it wouldn’t be right. It’s best if I cut back on all physical contact for our final night together. Three years is a long time. I let out a quiet sigh, deciding to slide myself under the covers of my bed, having no energy to change clothes. My eyes slowly begin to slip shut. I don’t want to sleep yet, but… I’m so tired…

With my sister on my mind, I drift off to sleep almost straight away. There’s no point in resisting anymore. I have to let her go.

…


	10. Alone

**Chapter Ten: Alone**

…

When I first open my eyes that following morning, I’m overwhelmed with a strong sense of fatigue, after a terrible night full of bad dreams. If not for those nightmares, I would have temporarily forgotten about Rin leaving me today. I slowly roll over onto my side, glancing over to my sister’s now empty bed. Maybe this is still a nightmare. Maybe she’s… not really gone?

I suppose I’m still trying to be optimistic here. But I’m crushed all over again when I realise this is reality. I remember that I told her the truth last night. Well, she was asleep while I said it. Perhaps she heard it, though. That’s the only sliver of hope I can hold onto. I roll onto my back a few moments later, sighing heavily.

I lie in bed for a few minutes longer, wondering if Rin has already told Meiko and Miku about her decision to leave. I’m sure they’ll be heartbroken, too. Maybe it’s not too late to make up with my friends, though. I want to become a better person, now that my sister is no longer here with me. I just wish this wasn’t the situation to push me into changing. I suppose that’s what life is like, and I feel like this is only the beginning of many challenges. After all… I’m just a pathetic kid.

As I pull the covers off myself and slip out of bed, I start to wonder about other things. The only way I can gain Meiko’s trust again is if I tell the truth. Rin and I have always been the closest with Meiko, so, there’s a chance she might not judge me for how I feel. There’s always that chance, though, considering how fucked up my feelings are. I can’t delay this decision either – if I don’t try to fix the broken bond with my friends, I’ll be all alone. I don’t think I can’t handle that for much longer.

I think it’s time I finally tell the truth.

…

Walking to school by myself is as difficult as it had been yesterday. This time, however, the pain of loneliness is a lot harsher than before. I try to push those feelings aside, and instead, look forward to changing myself for the better. Even if Meiko can’t accept my explanation, I’ll feel a whole lot less burdened. I have to admit, while I’m determined to change, I’m also pretty nervous. There’s also the chance that my depraved feelings will be told to all the students at school. Rumours here spread like wildfire.

Pushing all the negativity to the back of my mind, I make my way into the main building once I arrive on school grounds. Knowing Meiko, she’ll probably be hanging around her locker, joined by Miku. So, with that in mind, I don’t waste any time. I quickly move towards some of the lockers; when I come closer, just as I expected, I catch sight of Meiko along with Miku. Kaito and Piko are nowhere to be seen, which is a relief. I’d hate for those sick bastards to start targeting Meiko and Miku.

I take in a breath as I walk closer, gulping lightly once to push down my nerves. I only plan on telling Meiko at first – I have no idea how Miku will take it, even if she claims to always be neutral. I try my best to act casual, but I probably end up looking… just awkward. I pull my hand from my pocket, lifting it to give a wave to the two girls. “Hey, guys…” I quietly mutter.

They both turn to look at me; I’ve presumably just interrupted their current conversation. Miku gives me a soft smile, whereas Meiko appears to be understandably pissed off – beyond belief, I might add – at me. Meiko folds her arms over her chest, before she sends a blank stare at me. Yeah, I deserve that. I should have expected that, as well. “Lenny, I really can’t look at you right now.”

I let out a small sigh, rubbing at the back of my neck. “Uh… Believe it or not, I have an explanation for you,” I respond. Though that doesn’t seem to make her curious at all.

“Len, I… I don’t think this is the best time for Meiko right now,” Miku quietly speaks up, darting her eyes between the two of us.

“Look, I know how much I’ve fucked up…” I start to speak, trying not to appear weak in front of the two, especially when they need the most comfort. “But Meiko, I really have to tell you the reason behind everything. I can’t say you’ll be less pissed off at me, but… at least let me explain.”

“I understand if you need to speak to her privately,” Miku responds, with an understanding, warm smile. She turns to look at the other. “Meiko, I think you should give him a chance.”

Meiko lets out a huff, averting her eyes. “Fine, but I’m not going to forgive him.”

I can’t help but break out into a grin. I’m so happy that she’ll listen to me. I don’t care if she doesn’t forgive me. I just need to get this out. “Thank you, Meiko. Maybe we could go into an empty classroom or something?”

“Whatever,” she apathetically says, clearly not bothered by where we speak.

I can’t believe I’ve had such an effect on everyone like this… I’ve been incredibly selfish. I realise that now. I’ve only been protecting myself, haven’t I? That’s even more reason to fix everything I can. With that in mind, I lead Meiko over to an empty classroom a bit further down the hall – one that’s probably going to be used for the first lesson of the day.

I allow her to enter before I do, and then I close the door behind us. Meiko sets herself down onto a random chair, crossing one leg over the other. She stares up at me impatiently, her eyes still cold and her tone unforgiving. “Well. What’s your so-called reason for making me lose my best friend?” She grits her teeth together after, her voice breaking as she accuses me.

I can’t look her in the eyes. I’m still a coward. I trail my glance down to the floor, letting a sigh pass my lips. I have no idea where to begin. No matter how I phrase this, it’s still going to sound just as bad. I suppose an apology is the best thing to start with. “Meiko, I… You have no idea how sorry I am. You have no idea how guilty I feel for causing all of this.”

“You treated Rinny so badly for years…! And _now_ you feel guilty?” She immediately fires back, wasting no time in lashing out at me. “Only now you feel guilty? Now that… now that she’s gone?!”

This is going to be difficult. I draw in a breath, unable to swallow down my nerves. My mouth has gone completely dry. “This is going to sound like total bullshit, but please just listen. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to become to withdrawn and so cruel. I didn’t want to hurt Rin this much… I understand now how selfish I’ve been.”

“This doesn’t sound like an apology. It just sounds like you’re pitying yourself,” Meiko hisses in a low tone, growing impatient. She’s right. I’ve been rambling just to prolong the inevitable. She tosses her crossed leg back to its original position, before standing up from the chair.

I decide to lift my glance back up. I have to look her in the eyes, so she knows I’m being sincere. “I guess I am. But it’s all my fault, and I know that,” I respond, agreeing with her. “What I’m about to tell you will probably freak you out. You’ll probably hate me even more. I just have to get it out, though.”

Meiko remains silent, but she holds eye contact. Am I seriously doing this? I didn’t have the nerve to tell Rin, but I somehow find the strength to tell her best friend.

“Long story short, I… I’m in love with Rin.” I speak as confidently as I can, yet I try to be blunt, just to get it out in the open. And once those words escape my lips, I can see Meiko’s expression drastically change. At first, she’s in disbelief, as if she misheard… Then, she tries to process what I just said. She’s left speechless and confused for a few moments, and so, a painfully awkward silence hangs between us. My heart’s still pounding from the confession.

She slowly lowers herself back down onto the seat, seeming to be in a state of shock and confusion still. She must be disgusted, as well. Finally, she begins to mutter some words. “I… I don’t really get it, Lenny. You- You’re _in love_ with… y-your sister?”

That response is extremely crushing, for some reason. Maybe I didn’t expect her to be so harsh and judgemental. Or perhaps I’ve been so delusional, thinking there was a chance she’d accept what I told her. At this point, I can no longer hold eye contact.

“I already hate myself for it. I know how wrong and disgusting these feelings are. That’s why I’ve… tried to get Rin to hate me. I’ve tried so hard to push her away, in order to protect myself. I thought I was protecting her at first... But of course, I wasn’t. If she hated me, no one would ever find out the truth. Then I would never have to face a long time of bullying, and possibly even death threats…”

Even though I’m essentially just confirming those facts to myself, Meiko still appears to be very confused. “Lenny…” When I reluctantly trail my eyes up to look at her, I can see that there’s a frown pulling at her lips. In turn, this shocks me now. Does she feel sorry for me? I don’t understand.

“I’m so sorry, Meiko. It was never my intention to make Rin leave like this. I only wanted her to stop talking to me. I didn’t want her to leave for good…!” That all too familiar stinging sensation forms in my eyes. I bite down on my lip, refusing to let any tears fall.

“So, you only did it to protect Rinny…” Meiko mumbles. She seems to think I haven’t been selfish at all – or at least not as much as I think I have. “You hurt her so much, Lenny. I’m sure if you just told her…”

I slowly shake my head at this. “You can’t seriously think this is normal.”

“I know I should hate you and think it’s disgusting, but… but it’s you, Lenny. I’ve always known how pure your heart is, and I know you’ve been the best brother in the whole world when you weren’t trying to protect Rin from the truth…” Meiko responds, smiling up at me brightly. She pulls herself up from the seat once more, and takes a few steps towards me. I can barely believe what I’m hearing. “Besides… you’re also my bestest friend in the whole world, along with Rinny…! How could I hate you?”

I frantically shake my head in denial. “Meiko, you don’t get it! I’m in love with my sister – in a way that a brother shouldn’t be…!” I try to fight her, but she won’t be convinced otherwise now. “You should still be pissed off at me for how I treated her. When Kaito made that disgusting bet and messed with her, I abandoned her when she needed me most!”

“Lenny… It must have been so hard on you… You’ve been like this for so long, and you’ve had to deal with it all for so long. I can’t judge you for that,” she responds, determined to defend me. “I know for a fact you would do anything to protect Rin under normal circumstances…!”

I let out a heavy sigh at this. While she’s right, I just can’t believe she isn’t out in the halls telling everyone what a disgusting person I am. “I don’t know what to do without her,” I quietly mumble.

“I’ve tried so hard to convince her to stay – or even to come back after a few months. But… she really isn’t listening to me,” Meiko says, with a pout. “I’m sorry you have to go through this, Lenny. I-It’s breaking my heart to be without Rinny, yet it must be so much harder for you.”

“I’m really glad you’re so accepting, Meiko. But, why? I don’t understand.” I’m still trying to process exactly why she’s so eager to defend me. Sure, we’ve been best friends for years… Is this really her true nature? If so, how the hell did I get so lucky?

“Well… I know that it must have been hell to deal with when you first felt all that for Rinny,” Meiko says, giving a light sigh. “I can’t even imagine how you must have scolded yourself. But it’s something that you just can’t control, Lenny. I can understand how painful it must be.”

I truly appreciate her words, though it makes me want Rin by my side even more. I can only imagine how overjoyed I’d be if Rin accepted my confession like this. That’s wishful thinking gone too far, however. I’m just grateful to have at least one person accept me, even if I can’t fully accept how I feel myself. Maybe things will be just a little less painful with Meiko as my friend.

Once I’ve calmed down a bit more, I sit with Meiko until classes begin. I tell her some more about my feelings, going into added depth about why I acted the way I did over the years. It’s hard to relive all those memories, but once I’ve fully explained myself, she seems to understand me a lot better. And once we get those painful memories out of the way, Meiko decides that we should talk about the happier moments. She even tells me about all the times Rin expressed how much she loved the caring side of me. It’s hard to hear at first, but it definitely eases the burden after a while.

Tomorrow may be hard all over again, but at least for today, I feel slightly less alone.

…

[Rin Kagamine’s P.O.V]

I’ve made possibly the worst decision in my life.

Shit, is that just me overreacting? Because I really feel like I’m about to go crazy if my mind doesn’t shut up and stop arguing with itself. The decision to leave and go live with my aunt has got to be the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done.

But I had no choice. Even though I _could_ have stayed, there was far too much going wrong back home. Everything just started to pile up – one problem after the other, like it was never-ending. And while there’s some good in my life, everything else is _seriously_ shitty. That’s why I just had to get away and start a new life.

I don’t even know what to think. This is mainly all my brother’s fault. That insensitive, heartless bastard of a brother who never treated me kindly for more than five god damn minutes! I hate him. I despise him with every ounce of my being. I could tolerate him before everything in my life became a dumpster fire, but even then, he was pushing it. The constant flip-flops in attitude, his relentless mocking, his inability to give a damn about my problems…! If that wasn’t bad enough, he just had to go and _completely_ fuck everything up over the past week.

As soon as Luka came back to school, he had the nerve to pretend he cared about my feelings and the history I had with that girl. Did he actually think he was fooling me, by acting like he was mad at Miku? Did he really think I was that freaking stupid?! Oh, but of course, he eventually flip-flopped his attitude for the hundredth god damn time.

After the whole bullshit situation that happened with Kaito… That had been my breaking point. Again, Len acted like he cared that I was going to be messed with. He tried to crush that moment of happiness I had longed for. And when I _did_ end up getting hurt, he flipped the switch and told me what he really thought of me. That’s what he thought all along. I finally understand him, ironically.

There’s no doubt about it. Len has never truly loved me. We must have drifted apart when we grew up… He must have only been pretending to care about me the entire time. I don’t understand why, though. Did he want to look good in front of our parents? In front of our friends? He obviously only cares about himself, so, perhaps that’s why he gave me some moments of fake happiness. And now that he’s told me what he really thinks of me, it’s all making sense.

And now, I’ve been left to feel like a complete and utter fool. The dance we shared on our birthday felt so real… I can’t believe I actually felt breathless around him – as though we shared such a deep connection. As if we were… more than siblings. But that was all just me. That was all part of his attempt to trick me. Just reliving the memory nauseates me. How could I have had a fleeting moment of immoral feelings? How...? Why did I think I might have been _falling_ for my own brother?

Well, I no longer feel anything like that. I couldn’t possibly hold those feelings after the way he spoke to me that weekend. I’m disgusted at myself for even thinking of such a possibility. Am I sick? Am I losing it? I mean – how on earth could a sister ever feel such things towards her brother?

It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m finally free. I’m going to speak to Meiko as much as I can while I’m over here, though. I feel extremely guilty for leaving her behind, but we can still talk, so I think I can make it over here. There’s nothing good for me back home. Luka would have started to ruin my daily life sooner or later. Kaito might have targeted me again. And Len might have actually had me institutionalised.

Still, I can’t help but think this is the wrong thing to do. I mean, just up and leaving home? And in the middle of the school year? It’s going to be difficult to fit into a new school, and to make new friends. I can only hope this school isn’t full of bullies… Or maybe I can fit into a ‘popular’ group? As long as they’re a nice group, I really wouldn’t mind being the centre of attention for a little while.

I have to actually meet my aunt first. Mother told me all about her when we had our talk last night. Her name is Yukari, and she’s supposedly a really nice woman. She’s quite younger than Mother, and she lives by herself, so, she’ll most likely love the company. It’ll be a nice change, though – to live in a less crowded home. I’ve heard this part of the country is particularly great for amazing scenery, too. There’s nature everywhere you look, and the city is old-fashioned. It sounds like a wonderful place, and I’m excited to get there.

A new life… One without all my previous troubles. But the more I think about starting a new life out here… The more alone I start to feel.

…

It’s early in the morning. Far too early. It should be illegal to be awake at this hour, but I can’t complain, really. I’m full of excitement, but I’m kind of nervous, too. Father and I have just arrived outside the local train station. We haven’t been on the road too long, but he told me that we should arrive early to catch the train.

Father is going to make the journey there with me, so he can show me where Yukari’s house is and make sure I’m settled in. He says he wants to spend a few hours over there with me, have lunch together, and then he’ll be heading back home. Honestly, I wish Mother and Father could come live over here with me, and then we’ll just leave my annoying brother by himself. That’d be an ideal situation. But, unfortunately…

“Are you nervous, sweetheart?” Father asks, glancing over to me. We’re currently sitting on the seats near the platform, waiting for the train to arrive. He’s finally set down his morning newspaper – which he must have grabbed from a kiosk in here – and now he wants to have a chat while we wait.

I gulp lightly, before giving a small nod. “I’m glad you and Mom have been so understanding.”

“Of course, Rinny,” Father says, giving me an encouraging smile. He wraps an arm around me, pulling me into a sort of side-hug. I take in a breath, appreciating the loving warmth from him. “Still, I can’t help feeling guilty about the whole situation with you and your brother. If only your mother and I had noticed the signs sooner…”

A pout pulls at my lips as I hear this. “Don’t say that, Dad. It’s not your fault, I promise,” I say, in a reassuring tone. They’re definitely not to blame. It’s not their fault Len is so messed up in the head. I just wonder _why_ he hates me. It hurts to think about. What could I have possibly done to make him hate me this much? I guess there won’t be an answer.

“I know, sweetie. Still, your mother and I can’t help but feel responsible,” he continues. I think I can understand that. They feel as though they had the responsibility to look out for me at all times. So, to never notice the way Len treated me… They must feel like they’ve let me down. I wish I could reassure them both before I leave.

Before I can respond to Father, the sound of the train pulling into the station can be heard. The train slides in smoothly, and an announcement follows to state that the train has arrived. Father and I exchange glances, then we quickly pull ourselves up from the seats. Father takes hold of my suitcase, wrapping a palm around the handle and pulling it along. We move onto the train straight after, finding our seats without much effort.

The train isn’t so busy this early in the morning, though there’ll most likely be more passengers getting on at later stops. Father finds a spot nearby to place my suitcase, and then, he takes his seat next to me. I can’t believe this is really it. We have to sit at the station for a few minutes, so I simply look out the window, watching as people with suitcases come and go.

Eventually, I speak up, just as the doors are closing. “…Do you think I made the wrong choice, Dad?”

There’s a slight pause between my question and his response. He seems unsure. “It’s hard to say, Rinny. I think it’s a good idea, just to get a break and experience new things. You know you can come home whenever you want, whether that’s next month, or next year. But your mother and I will make sure you never feel homesick.”

I pull my eyes from the window, after watching some of the scenery begin to fly by. I turn my head to Father, a smile pulling at my lips. “Thanks, Dad. That’s all I needed to hear.” Still, that feeling of uncertainty lingers… I’m sure it’s normal, though. Letting out a soft sigh, I turn my eyes back to the window. I’ll be at my new home soon.

…

My eyelids flutter open, after feeling a soft tap against my arm. “…Mmh?” I sleepily mumble, blinking a couple times and looking around. I must have fallen asleep. Funny, I don’t remember drifting off… But it makes sense, after so much stress. I slowly lift my head and arms off the small table in front of us.

“We’re here, Rinny.”

I wonder how long I’ve been asleep. It feels like it’s been hours – despite that, I still feel drained. I rub at my tired eyes, before giving a nod. Father and I stand from our seats; he goes over to the area where my suitcase is, taking a moment to collect it. We move towards the train doors together, and admittedly, I’m still having a bit of a hard time processing everything after waking up.

The unfamiliar scenery outside is still flying by. Just as Mother had told me, the whole place is surrounded by nature. While it’s beautiful, it’s also kind of scary. Maybe it’s only that strange feeling people get after waking up from a nap, but there’s this overwhelming sense of dread deep inside my heart right now. I try to gulp lightly, only to find my mouth is dry.

The train finally comes to a stop outside a quaint little station. While it looks wonderful, like somewhere out of a movie, it all feels incredibly alien. I can tell, it’s such a different atmosphere compared to home. I nervously bite down onto my lower lip, sliding my arm through Father’s for some comfort as we step off the train. I take in a breath of the unfamiliar air, and although it’s not directly caused by that breath of air, a strong sense of nausea washes over me, twisting a knot in my stomach.

Father says some words of reassurance to me, but I can barely hear him. This is going to be my life now. No matter what happens from now on, I can’t go back… Not after everything that happened at home. I begin to follow Father, as he leads me towards aunt Yukari’s house. Although the walk is long, it all feels like a blur. Before I know it, we’re standing outside a small home situated in a village.

When I blink once, I seem to regain awareness of my surroundings. My eyes widen slightly as I fully realise I’m at my new home. I glance around, taking in the beauty of the area. There’s a fairly tall, white fence around the house; there’s a cobblestone path which leads towards the house itself. Like everything else in this village, it has a nice, old-fashioned feel to it. And now, I realise… This is perfect.

Father smiles over to me, apparently noticing my awe. “I knew you’d like it here, Rinny. Well… Go on, knock on the door.”

I start to feel a bit more excited to finally meet my aunt. I should take everything one step at a time, shouldn’t I? Taking in a light breath, I move a step closer and knock twice on the front door. I stand there waiting for a short few moments, before the door is pulled open. Standing in front of me is Yukari… At least, I think so?

The woman is probably in her thirties, yet she appears quite a bit younger. She’s wearing a light summer dress, which just falls short of her knees, with a pink jacket thrown over her shoulders. Her style reminds me of something I might wear, surprisingly. Her hair is a light purple, which is currently tied into a braid; it hangs over one shoulder, and there’s a summer straw hat adorning her head to finish her outfit off. She looks literally nothing like what I expected.

“Um… A-Aunt Yukari…?” I hesitantly ask, worried that this isn’t her at all. I can hear Father chuckle quietly behind me. Oh man, I feel so awkward.

The woman breaks out into a bright grin, before nodding enthusiastically. “Who else, dear? Oh, it’s so great to finally meet you, Rin!” Without saying anything else, she quickly moves forward to wrap me in a welcoming hug.

I’m kind of surprised by her hospitable nature, but it’s a lovely feeling. I return the hug, and a couple of moments later, Aunt Yukari takes a step back. I let out a sigh of relief after, glad that I didn’t mistake her for someone else. “It’s really nice to meet you too, Aunty.”

“Oh, please! Call me Yukari, sweetie,” she says, with a light laugh. She then turns her glance to Father who’s standing behind me. “Ah, and look who it is! I feel like I haven’t seen you in years, Rinta!”

I awkwardly take a step to the side, so that Yukari can go over to rather tightly hug Father. It seems she’s a bit overenthusiastic – Father’s facial reaction to this is priceless. After squeezing him for a good few moments, she finally pulls back and faces me once more.

“It’s only been a few months, hasn’t it, Yukari?” Father lightly rubs at the back of his neck as he speaks. “Well, it’s good to stop by, anyway. I’m so glad you agreed to look after our Rinny.”

“I’m glad, too,” I add, with a shy grin.

Aunty nods in agreement rather happily, before answering. “Yes, yes, of course! It gets pretty lonely here, with it being just me,” she says. A sort of pout pulls at her lips for a moment. “And my, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, Rin. But don’t you worry – there’ll be none of that here. You see, the community here is so close. We all look after each other, so you don’t need to worry at all about if you’ll fit in or not.”

It’s actually pretty relieving to hear those words. That had been one of my top fears on the way over here. But it seems like I’ll fit in just fine. I’ll only find out for real when I start school here, though. Even so, I give a nod. “Thank you, Yukari. It seems so nice here.”

“Mm, it really is!” she responds, brightly as ever. “Oh, and speaking of…” She turns to look over her shoulder for a moment. I try to get a glance of inside the house, but she’s kind of blocking the view right now. “I currently have someone inside helping me out with my groceries. Oh, the children here are such sweethearts – they always offer to help out if you have a lot of bags. Why don’t we go inside and say hi?”

Wow, the people here really do seem kind. Even if there’s a chance to make just one friend on my first day, I’ll take it. Father and I exchange glances, before nodding in confirmation to each other. We follow as Yukari turns on her heels and walks inside. Father pulls my suitcase along still, and once I step inside, I can’t help but curiously glance around.

The inside of the house is even more amazing than the outside. There’s a cosy little entrance hall, with the stairs to the left, and some doors to the right. After taking a few steps inside, I manage to find a place where shoes can be left. While I slide them off my feet, I catch sight of some pictures hanging on the walls. It looks like Yukari has some pictures of herself and Mother when they were children, along with some other relatives I don’t recognise. It’s sort of sad… I hope she isn’t too lonely all by herself out here. But she has me now, so it shouldn’t be that bad.

After Father and I place our shoes down, Yukari speaks up. “Rinta, you can leave that suitcase by the stairs for now, okay? I’ll take it up for Rinny once we’re all settled in.”

Father appears to be relieved. He lets out a sigh and sets the suitcase to lean against the wall. It mustn’t have been easy to haul around for so long. “Thank you for that, Yukari.”

After all that, Aunty leads us into the door furthest from the stairs. We’re taken into the kitchen, and while there’s a lot more scenery to take in, I immediately notice the person Yukari mentioned at the front door. I can feel a light blush creeping up on my cheeks. Fuck… It just _has_ to be a boy my age, doesn’t it? This isn’t good.

I gulp lightly, taking in his appearance, while trying not to stare for too long. I briefly note that he has sort of silver hair, intense dark green eyes… Oh dear god, he’s so cute. I avert my eyes after a second or two, once he realises there’s more people here.

“Oh…?” His voice is kind of deep, yet also kind of dreamy. Oh, no, no. Get a hold of yourself, Rin! _You can’t go having crushes this early!_

“Hello, dear! Sorry, I completely forgot to mention that I was expecting my family today,” Yukari giggles quietly, a blush crossing her cheeks. “Rinta. Rin. This is the young man I was telling you about. He’s such a sweetheart, isn’t he? I told him that it wasn’t necessary to help, but no, he wouldn’t accept that.”

The male smiles modestly, before his eyes catch mine for a split second. I resist the urge to let out a squeak in embarrassment, and quickly pull my eyes away. I hope the blush on my face isn’t visible. Please, please, don’t be visible. “Aw, it’s no problem, Miss Yuzuki. Really.”

“My, what a gentleman, indeed,” Father says. When I glance over to him, I see him nod his head slowly in approval. Oh geez, I know exactly what he’s thinking. “It’s a shame I won’t be staying for longer. It’d be nice to get to know the young man who helped out my family.”

The male rubs at the back of his head, with a soft, shy smile. Even that look of modesty is sooo…

“Rin, sweetie. This is Dell. I think he’s about your age – right?” Aunty glances over to him, seeming to forget his exact age.

“That’s right. I’m 16,” he responds on cue. Well, not exactly my age…

“Ahh, yes…” Yukari nods, apparently remembering the details now. “And of course, Dell. This is my wonderful niece Rin. She’s coming to live here for a few years! So, she’ll probably be coming to your school. You two should become friends.”

I nervously chew at my lower lip, suddenly finding myself at a loss for words. I mumble something in agreement, with a single nod. “It’s, uh… it’s nice to meet you, Dell.” When I sneak a glance up, I can see that he’s grinning warmly at me.

“Yeah… it’s nice to meet you too, Rin. I’m sure we’ll… y’know… get along well,” he responds, and I swear it’s in the same shy, smitten tone as mine. Am I just hearing things? Or is he just not good at introductions? Either way, I’m sure Father and Yukari are having a field-day with our obvious show of embarrassment.

And before I know it, Aunty is sending us off somewhere else. “Hmm, well! Dell, why don’t you leave the rest of the groceries to Rinta and I? You and Rin should go get to know each other a bit! Why don’t you tell her about her new school and other things?”

“Uhh…” I quietly mumble, glancing up to Yukari. No, no! Don’t leave me alone with a cute boy I barely know…! I mentally shake my head in a frantic manner, but of course, no one can see my protesting.

“Yes, go on, Rin. We can still spend a bit of time together over lunch. You should get to know your new friend,” Father adds, clearly approving of our friendship. I know what he’s getting at. Dell seems to be a gentleman with truly pure intentions… And Father is a sucker for that. He wants that kind of boy to ‘look after me’. Damn it…

Our eyes meet again, for a bit longer this time. Geez, I wish my cheeks would stop burning up so much. “I-Is… um, is that okay with you?” I manage to ask, and of course, I end up stuttering.

“Yeah… Of course. I… I guess I could tell you about school and stuff,” Dell responds.

“You two can go out to the garden, if you want!~” Yukari pipes up, with a devilish, match-making grin plastered across her face. “It’s just through that door, there!” She points to a white door towards the back of the kitchen.

I let out a quiet sigh. As much as I don’t want to be thrown into the deep end already, I suppose it’ll be nice to try and make a friend. I know my feelings are all over the place right now. That’s why I need to be careful, and I absolutely can’t rush into anything. I’ve learned my mistake from last time… Which is probably why I suddenly feel so nervous. A part of me is terrified of that happening again.

I give Dell a chance, of course. We make our way to the door at the back of the kitchen, and we both step out into the garden. It’s relatively small in size, but there are so many different plants and flowers spread across both sides. And the smell of all those flowers is simply blissful. There’s a table set near the back with some chairs, on top of the path between all those plants.

We walk slowly, side-by-side, heading towards those chairs. The silence between us is almost painfully awkward. Even talking to him as a friend, I have no clue what to say, so I hope he has something in mind. We take our seats, ending up being sat opposite each other. I lean forward a bit, resting my arms against the table. “Ah, so…”

Dell leans back against the chair, taking in a breath. “Mm… Right, so… What d’you want to know about school?”

I guess that’s a good place to start. That’s one of my other biggest worries regarding my new home. “Well… What are the people there like? At my old school, we hardly had any nice people, you know?” I start with a relatively simple question.

“Oh, I see. You don’t have to worry about people like that,” Dell replies, with a sincere smile. “There are a few rude people here and there, but everyone sticks up for each other. Nobody goes through anything alone – there aren’t any bullies.”

I’m surprised to hear this. I thought Yukari might have been overreacting a bit, but it seems like she isn’t. With that, I start to feel a bit comfortable around Dell, thinking I can trust him at least a little more. Before I know it, we’ve started off a full conversation just about school. He starts to tell me about his group of friends, and some of the things they’ve got up to together. In turn, I tell him about Meiko and Miku – how they’re my only good friends, but I mention all the fun we’ve had together, too.

Before I know it, I’ve relaxed entirely around Dell, and we end up talking for quite a long time. It feels nice, knowing I’ve made a friend already. It seems like I’ll be able to forget about all that happened at home, and that soon, I can start to move forward with my life. There’s a chance I won’t be all alone here.

…


	11. Small Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long delay in updating this one. I've been trying to take care of my mental health as of lately, and I finally feel like I'm in a good place - at least for now. The other reason I haven't updated is because I was struggling a lot with this story. Some negative feedback took control of me, and I lost all sense of direction for this story. Well, I'm back now, and won't let any negative criticism get in my way anymore. I have a brand new direction for this story; new characters, new plot points, and more importantly, MORE SMUT! Thank you all so much for the kudos and hits - I promise to deliver more frequently from now on.

It’s really my first day already. I gulp once to push down my nerves, but that doesn’t help at all. I double check and triple check my appearance in the bathroom mirror, making sure that I look good enough. First impressions are incredibly important – I know this. But then again, I’ve already started school once before back at home, so why am I so nervous? I should know what to expect and stop freaking out! But… Then again…!

I stop myself with a deep breath. I look fine. Everything is fine. I don’t even know anyone there, so why should I try to look good for them? “Ugh...” I groan. There’s something in the back of my mind telling me _who exactly_ I should make an effort for. But that’s ridiculous. I only spoke to him once – we might not even be good friends at school. I shake my head, taking one last look at myself. My hair is as normal as ever. The white bow in my hair will never change. Even my new school uniform is pretty cute. I should relax.

“Rinny! Are you almost ready?” I hear a familiar voice calling from downstairs. “Come get breakfast while it’s hot!” It’s my aunt. I hadn’t expected her to go ahead and make my breakfast for me – since I’m a newcomer in her home, I was planning on making my own food and taking care of myself. I don’t want her rushing around for me or anything, that wouldn’t be fair at all.

Sighing with a shrug to myself, I exit the bathroom and head down the wooden stairs. “I’m coming,” I call back, and within a few seconds, I’ve hopped into the kitchen and the smell of freshly cooked food hits me. “Uwaaahhh...” I whisper in awe, the delicious scent of blueberries almost making my mouth water. I didn’t feel hungry at all when I first woke up, but now, I feel starved!

Yukari is grinning brightly over at me, standing by the kitchen table – and that’s when I notice the holy pile of sweet treats. There’s a whole tray full of blueberry muffins, piping hot straight from the oven. “Good morning, sweetie! Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve baked something as yummy as these. And since you’re starting school this morning, why, I just couldn’t help myself!” she greets me with her usual bubbly voice, and I couldn’t possibly feel any more loved at this point.

“Oh, Aunty…! That’s so nice of you, thank you! But… well… Why are there so many muffins?” I tilt my head to the side, laughing slightly in confusion. I could totally eat all those by myself, but I get the feeling they’re not for just me.

Confirming that feeling, Yukari giggles. “You can have a couple for your breakfast, but I made these ones for your classmates. You see, since it’s a village school, there isn’t a huge amount of students attending. The class you’re joining only has fourteen other students your age – of course, there are other classes with younger ages, but you get the point. You can bring them as a gift and become friends with everyone!”

“Oh...” I mumble, starting to feel a bit awkward. If I tried to bring a ‘gift’ like that to my old school, I’d be ridiculed and made fun of. Teenagers are ruthless like that. How is she so sure the students here aren’t the same way? Even Dell said himself there are a few ‘rude’ students here and there. I don’t want to upset the wrong crowd and be subjected to more bullying.

Yukari smiles sincerely, as if she can hear all the worries in my head. “It’s okay, dear. Rinta told me you faced quite a lot of troubles back at home… And I can assure you, that will not happen here. This village is one big family. Mess with one of us, and you’re messing with all of us. We all look out for each other.”

I’m really not used to this. The closest I’ve come to being friends with everyone like this is in my dreams. I’ve always wanted to find a place to fit in. Looks like… this might be it. Smiling, I approach the table and take a seat on one of the stools. “Thank you,” I say. I reach out to the tray and grab one of the muffins. They must have been taken out a while ago, as they aren’t burning hot any more. Perfect.

As soon as I take a bite into the muffin, I feel as though I’m in heaven. Does stuff out in the countryside always taste _so much better?_ Or maybe I just didn’t do enough baking of my own at home? Whatever it is, I don’t care. So delicious.

“Oh, and I almost forgot to mention,” Yukari starts, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes. Uh oh. “I may have asked Dell and a couple of his friends to come greet you and walk you to school this morning.”

Huh?! I internally freak out. I have to make new friends… right now…?! I didn’t expect to be pushed into the deep end so soon. I know I’d have to do it sooner or later, but those students coming to the house for me is even more embarrassing. Oh god. And Yukari might try to embarrass me in front of Dell again.

“Don’t look so nervous,” Yukari giggles. “This is a perfect opportunity for you. You’ll see. They’re all lovely kids.”

I groan quietly to myself. Okay, this is fine. I can deal with it, whatever. I stuff down the rest of the muffin in a bit of a sour mood, the novelty quickly wearing off as nerves come back. By the time I’ve finished, the rest of the muffins have started to significantly cool down, so Yukari begins to pack them up in a small box. Once she’s done that, I watch her head over to the fridge and pull out a bento box.

“Alright, here’s everything you’ll need for today. And don’t fret, I’ve already packed your bag with school supplies.” Wow, she’s thought of everything. She’s the best. She presents a brand new backpack for me – my old one is still upstairs, so I’m not sure how to feel about this. I guess it’d just be rude if I deny her offer… It’s cute, anyway. A light pink, roomy bag with small pockets and probably full of anything I need.

“Ah… Thank you, Aunt Yukari. I really appreciate it,” I grin. It’s definitely gonna take a while to get used to all this, though. Starting a new school, all these miles away from home… I think I’m a bit homesick already. But I just always have to remember the reason why I’m here. I won’t utter his name. I can’t let any more confusing thoughts enter my mind.

Once I stuff both boxes of food into my bag, there’s a knock at the front door. Looks like that’ll be Dell and his friends. With a flash of a nervous smile to my aunt, I zip up my backpack and swing it over my shoulders. Gripping the straps, I say goodbye to Yukari and head towards the front door. With a deep breath, I open it and try to act as natural as possible.

“Good morning, Rin!” I’m instantly met with Dell’s warm smile and greeting. Maybe I can melt into my confidence a bit more… My eyes quickly flick between the group of students standing opposite me. It doesn’t take more than a couple seconds. Of course, there’s Dell. Next to him is a red-haired boy, his skin slightly pale, and a matching red X-shaped bandage plastered over his nose. Next to that boy, there are two girls – the first has long, dark blonde hair tied into a side ponytail; the second has short curly pink hair tied into pigtails. They each look like very nice, welcoming people. It’s been a while since I’ve looked at a group of kids and thought something positive about them.

“Uhh… H-Hey there, guys. Thanks for coming to meet me,” I speak, tripping over my words at first. Laughing slightly out of nervousness, I walk down the small steps and close the door behind me. With that, this group and I start to take a leisurely walk down the front path and out into the village. Glancing around, I notice there are actually a few different paths to take. To the right, I vaguely recognise that it’s the road toward the train station. Following the group, we take a left turn down a dirt path that’s surrounded by bushes, tall flowering trees and a bunch of buildings in the distance. There are some houses scattered along the way, not too far apart from Yukari’s place.

“It’s sooo cool to have a new student here – especially another girl!” I look toward the pink-haired girl as she starts a conversation. Her excited tone reminds me a bit of Meiko, but this girl is a bit more reserved than her and has more dignity.

“Mhm,” the other girl nods in agreement, and my eyes flicker between them. Dell and the other boy are walking in front of us by a few steps, as the road is too narrow to fit all of us, so I’m at the rear-end, in the middle of both the girls. This other girl has a naturally sort of deep, mature voice – but she doesn’t remind me all that much of Miku; I’d guess that this girl here is a bit more of a tomboy than anything.

“You’ll love it here, Rin,” Dell pipes up, looking over his shoulder at me to smile sweetly. I avert my eyes after our glances momentarily meet, a quiet giggle escaping my lips. “Isn’t that right, Fukase?” He directs his question to the red-head beside him.

The one named Fukase speaks up, and he sounds like the most laid-back one out of the group, perhaps a bit shy. “Y-Yeah, that’s right… It’s good to finally meet you.”

With that remark, the two girls beside me both break out into knowing laughter. “Dell hasn’t been able to stop talking about you, Rin,” the pink-haired girl admits.

“H-Huh?” I squeak, not sure how else to react being told that.

“Hey, stop twisting it…!” Dell immediately spins on his heels, flawlessly walking backwards as he scolds the girls. I lift my glance to look at his face, and I can see the faintest bit of red on his cheeks. That alone causes me to divert my eyes back to the path beneath my feet in embarrassment.

“Ahaha~! We’re not twisting anything, just telling it like it is.” That tomboyish snorting laughter comes from my left, and I realise now the blonde is talking. A second after she finishes, I feel an elbow being dug into my side as she teases me. I direct my glance up to her, and see her grinning cheekily right at me; Dell now has his back to us.

“Come on, girls… It’s only Rin’s first day here, go easy on her.” Fukase speaks up in a quiet tone, in my defense. This earns another giggle from the girls, and then a collective sigh. This atmosphere is so strange. I’m getting along so well with this group so easily, and it feels incredibly nice. They’re seeing me as one of their own already.

“You’re right, you’re right...” I look to my right this time. “Oh, introductions! Ahah~ It really is nice to meet you, Rin. My name’s Teto.” The pink-haired girl finally introduces herself to me, and the girl to my left follows quickly.

“Neru is my name, don’t wear it out!” She winks at me, her dark blonde hair swaying casually as she walks. So… Dell, Fukase… Neru and Teto. It’s so refreshing to meet all these amazing people – maybe I’ll be okay over here after all. I can’t wait to tell Meiko all about these people when I get home tonight.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet all of you, too! You’ve made me feel so welcome already,” I answer, with a sincere smile. I think I’m going to love it here. I hope the rest of my first day goes just as well as this.

…

The walk down the path to school is longer than I first expected, but talking and messing around with the others makes it seem like it doesn’t take long at all. I’m in front of the building before I know it. There’s a metal fence surrounding the area, and the perimeter of the school grounds is pretty big overall for a supposedly small school. The building stretches out quite a bit, and I can see small children running around the play area at the front.

“So, what do you think? This is our humble little school. We’ve put our hearts and souls into improving this place and making it a wonderful place for all,” Dell says, and it’s clear how proud he is of the place. I’m a bit weirded out at how they’re talking about a school, but I suppose I’ll just have to stick around and see why they love it so much.

“It’s… uh, a lot to take in, but...” I honestly reply.

“You’ll see why we love it soon,” Fukase adds, and he flashes me a small smile.

“C’mon Rin, let’s go meet everybody!” Teto excitedly tugs on my arm, eyes bright at the prospect of showing around fresh meat. I remember being in this position a few years ago.

“Yeah, let’s head into class. We can get a head start on class work and dibs on the best seats,” Neru says, grinning along with the pink-haired girl. I shrug to myself – apparently I’m jumping straight into the deep end once again. I’ll have to meet the rest of my classmates. This shouldn’t be so bad, I hope. I’ve only met a few of them so far…

We enter the school building, and it’s clear it’s been designed for a smaller number of students compared to the city. The halls aren’t anywhere near as big as the ones at home, but somehow that just makes me feel less anxious and safer. I follow the group down the hall and take in my surroundings. There are some windows to the left, and to the right, there are a few doors into different rooms. Above the rooms, there are signs indicating which students are to go there, along with a teacher’s office and headmaster’s office. Between the gaps in the doors, there are art boards stuck up on the walls full of younger students’ art and posters advertising small school events.

The halls twist around a bit, with two different directions to go down at the end of the hall. Directly in front of us at the end must be our classroom, as everyone heads towards the door. I quickly look down each turn; there are some bathrooms to the left, and to the right is a slightly bigger door.

Dell slides the classroom door open, and we’re greeted by quiet chit-chat from the other students already there. I gulp, feeling my nerves start up again as I dart my eyes between the different teens. Some of them are putting things into their lockers at the back of the classroom, some chilling together at their desks, and there’s one by themselves at the front near the chalkboard.

“C’mon Rin, let’s grab our seats!” Teto nudges me lightly, which pulls my curious eyes from the one at the board, over to some empty rows of tables. The first thing I notice is that there’s five rows of three desks. Chewing on my lip out of a nervous habit, I follow the girls to the back row. Neru sits on the left, Teto sets herself beside Neru… So, I’m left to the last seat on the row. Dell and Fukase sit in front of us, but they both face us to continue our previous conversation.

I take in a deep breath, blocking out any talking for now. I need a moment to pull myself together and really get used to all this. They aren’t talking directly to me right now; it’s more of a group conversation, so I mumble ‘mhm’ and all that, acting like I’m still paying attention. But there’s something dragging my attention to the front of the classroom, over to the one who’s writing on the chalkboard.

I narrow my eyes to take in their appearance. Scanning over them, I finally realise it’s a girl who’s just a bit taller than the rest of us. She looks very mature for her age, just from the type of presence she’s radiating. She has long silver hair that falls down to the very end of her back, and it’s tied up by a purple bow. Hold on… That silver hair is familiar.

I wait for a gap in the conversation between my new friends before bringing this up. I pull my eyes off her and pay more attention to the group. Now, how do I ask if she’s related to Dell in a casual way…? I don’t want to sound weird. Hmm… Ah, of course! “So… How about you guys tell me who everyone is? If I know their names, it might be easier to get to know them.” Smooth enough, right? I hate to admit it, but Len definitely has a more natural, casual approach when he wants to know something specific. That damn idiot.

“Oh, that’s easy,” Neru says, being the first to take the opportunity. She begins to point out the students who are in the classroom, starting with the ones near their lockers and the others that are close to our desks. Then, she settles on the girl at the front, who’s only just packing away her chalk. “And that’s Haku. Heh… Dell, why don’tcha tell Rin all about her?” With that type of teasing voice, I suddenly get the feeling not everything is as perfect as they first told me.

“Ugh, seriously Neru?” That’s the first time I’ve heard Dell sounding genuinely annoyed.

“S-Sorry, it’s not important who she is. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want,” I quickly interrupt, dismissively waving my hands – although the curiosity is killing me now. Are they also siblings who don’t get along?

Fukase lightly coughs. “It’s best if we don’t go any further than that.”

Even Teto is frowning a bit. “Y-Yeah… We keep ourselves to ourselves, end of story.”

“...huh,” I softly mumble. When I make eye contact with Dell, he looks more upset than annoyed at this point, and that kinda brings my mood down as well. I hope Haku isn’t one of those ‘rude’ or ‘mean’ people that Dell briefly mentioned a couple days ago. I’ve had enough of those types back at home. But… Well, I don’t even know her… Maybe there’s been a misunderstanding between these guys? They might’ve all been friends at one point. I wonder if… Haku is lonely…? I know they’re essentially telling me to stay away, but I know how hard it is to go through pain alone. I could try to find a way to talk to her. At the same time, I don’t want to disappoint my new friends and make them mad at me. Hmm.

After a short silence hangs between us all, the conversation gradually begins to pick up again, and for the time being, I decide to forget about Haku and focus on getting through the day, one small step at a time.

We’ve been chatting for a few minutes now, and just as I begin to wonder when class will be starting, I hear the sound of the door being slid open. Haku has been standing to the right of the teacher’s desk ever since she finished writing on the board; as soon as the door opens, though, she stands alert. “Alright everyone, stand please.”

A strong, confident voice comes from Haku’s mouth. At first, the level of power and self-assuredness surprises me. That’s not the type of voice I imagined her to have. Despite me knowing nothing about village school life, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out she must be some type of class president, and runs things while the teacher is away. So, with that, I rise from my seat and watch as the teacher enters.

The one who enters is a tall, kind of scary but also kind of friendly-looking man. He wears a dark brown striped suit, carries a suitcase in one hand, and some thin-framed glasses rest on his face. “Thank you, Miss Yowane. You may take your seat now.” His voice is very soft – he might actually be the caring type, much like Miss Miki back at home. He sets down his suitcase on the desk and takes his seat.

So, her family name is Yowane. Looks like she might not be related to Dell after all. Hmm, or perhaps… Cousins? “Yes, Sir.” She promptly answers, and signals the rest of us to sit down. She takes her seat at the front of the class, and with the other rows of students between us, it’s hard to look at her any further. Oh, well.

“Now, to start with, I believe we have a new student joining us today.” Oh, god… Why do you have to embarrass me like this? This is ridiculous! My cheeks immediately start burning. A few people turn to look at me; I try my best to avoid their curious glances. “Everyone, this is Rin Kagamine. Please, make her feel welcome! Rin, I’m your year group teacher, Mr Kiyoteru Hiyama.”

I guess this must be the part where I say ‘thank you!’ or something…? “Uh… Um… Y-Yeah, I’m glad to be here…! Thank you, Sir.” Good enough. Suddenly, I remember about the sweet treats in my bag. “Oh, um, Sir…! I-I brought along some blueberry muffins for everyone, baked fresh this morning by my aunt Yukari.”

“Oooh!” Everyone turns to look at me with big bright, hungry eyes – I notice that Haku does not, however.

“Aw, thank you very much, Rin. Well, I don’t normally allow food during class time, but… This is a special occasion – it’s not very often we get new students. So, you may go and hand them out to everyone,” Kiyoteru announces.

Ah, more interaction with everyone…! This just keeps getting worse and worse, doesn’t it?

…

It’s only lunch time and I already feel exhausted. I know I didn’t travel by plane, but it feels like I have jet-lag… When the first lesson of the day is over, everyone gathers into their own small friendship groups to push their desks together for lunch; my new friends also invite me to do the same with them. We shift our chairs around and push the small desks together, before Dell moves towards the lockers, offering to retrieve everyone’s lunch boxes.

“I can’t get those blueberry muffins out of my mind, Rin…!” Teto is the first to speak up once we all sit down, waiting for Dell to return. She’s very dramatic, and the likeness to Meiko is almost too much. “I gotta go say hi to Yukari sometime soon – maybe she’ll make some cookies for me!~”

“Ahah,” Neru softly laughs. “Yeah, ya know what, that does sound like a good idea. Perhaps we’ll all take a trip at the weekend.”

“Ehh… S-Sure! I’ll tell Yukari to make some cookies for us all,” I answer, frantically nodding at the chance to spend more time with them all and become closer.

“Sounds good to me, too,” Fukase adds. “But if we’re going to spend some time together at the weekend, we might as well make a whole day out of it.”

“Hmm, make a day out of what?” Dell returns at just the right time, skilfully carrying all of our lunch boxes in his arms, each one stacked on top of the other.

“We’re gonna go over to Yukari’s place to see Rin and get some free cookies at the weekend!” Teto enthusiastically responds. Her eyes light up even more when Dell sets the boxes into the middle of the desks; he sits down a moment later.

“Oh, right. That does sound fun. Yukari’s such a sweet lady, but I did notice how lonely she was before you came to stay, Rin.” I raise a brow at this. I forgot that he helps her out quite a lot. “Of course, we all tried to look out for her, but… Well, I’m just glad you’re here for her now.” I smile softly at this, and for a short while, my chest feels all warm and kinda strange.

“Anyway, as I was saying...” For a split second, Fukase has a teasing grin pulling at his lips, but he regains his usual composure before I get a chance to point it out. “We should make a whole day of it. We can show Rin around the village – take her into town, show her some nature trails, and then when we’re done, we can return to Yukari’s house and have a sleepover. Like, a, uhm… Welcome party, maybe?”

“Ooh, yay! Sleepover!” Teto clasps her hands together.

Neru finishes organising the lunch boxes, before giving a nod of approval. “The last time we had a sleepover must’ve been at least a month ago. We can help Yukari make cookies, maybe some pizza, and then we can spend the whole night gossiping!”

Woah, this is all going a bit too fast. First of all, I had no idea they were all so close. Their friendship reminds me of the early days of my old friendship group at home. When we were just as close, but then it all just fell apart. I’m hoping the same doesn’t happen here. Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I go ahead and agree. I really need to relax and accept their friendship. “Alright, that actually doesn’t sound too bad! I’ll let Yukari know tonight, okay?”

“Awesome,” Dell grins brightly in response. “Now, Rin. We must make you aware of our traditions.”

“Huh…?” The mood suddenly changes to a very serious one – except it feels very… over the top. I raise a brow in curiosity, and wait for them to continue.

“Once our lunch boxes touch the desk, they’re no longer _yours_ any more. Basically… Your food is free game to everyone else here!” Teto decides to take over from Dell, and that just leaves me feeling more confused.

So, let me try to understand. I can’t eat my own food… but others can? That must mean I can eat anyone else’s food.

“Uh oh, I can tell which lunch box is Rin’s already,” Neru snickers, and she points to one of the boxes on the desk with her chopsticks. I trail my eyes toward where she’s pointing, and though at first I don’t recognise it as my own, I soon realise how mine is different. Mine is the smallest there – it’s clearly meant for one person, a small portion. The other lunch boxes are big and bright, packed full with food.

“That’s okay, Rin,” Fukase says, smiling at me. He can pick up on that pang of sadness I just felt deep in my heart. I’ve messed up already. God damn it! “You couldn’t have known. We’ll let you have the biggest share from us, okay?” His words feel very patronising. That’s sly… so very sly…

“Hah… So, that’s how it is here, huh?” I grin through gritted teeth. “Well, you guys better believe your butts that I’ll bring the biggest lunch box out of all of you tomorrow!” Game face is on. I’m no stranger to competition. These mortals ought to fear me…!

“Very good. Glad you understand,” Dell responds, with a slight smirk. “We haven’t invited a new person into our group for a long time. You should feel honoured.” It’s weird to hear that teasing from Dell rather than Neru.

“Well, with that, let’s dig in!” Teto starts us off.

“Thank you for the food!” Everyone else cheers together, and so I join in with them. That marks the beginning of a beautiful lunch experience.

…

I let out a long sigh at the end of the school day. It’s been so full of excitement, now I truly am tired. Exhausted, actually. It’s been as action-packed as a day at school back at home, with Meiko messing around, and all sorts of other things. I’ve kinda missed my old life today, but I think I’ll be able to get used to this life slowly. I’m looking forward to the weekend already, even though it’s only the start of the week right now.

Everyone begins to pack up; the bell signalled the end of the day a couple of minutes ago. It’s around 5pm. Glancing out the window, it’s still light outside. I’ve already finished putting away all my school stuff and food boxes, so now I’m just waiting for the others to get ready to leave. They’re currently chatting at the back of the room near the lockers, and I’m standing near the classroom door. I sneak a look over at Haku. She’s currently got her back turned to me, and she’s discussing something with Kiyoteru. I still don’t know how I’m going to approach her, or if I even should at all. This is something I’ll have to consider after the sleepover this weekend.

“Hey, Rin! We’re all ready to go!” Teto’s voice snaps me out of thought. I turn around to see the group standing together next to me. I give a smile and nod.

“I’ll drop you off at home, Rin,” Dell offers. “I doubt you know the way back. Besides… I did kind of promise your aunt that I’d show you the way to and from school until you know where to go.” He subtly winks at me.

“Ooh~” Neru mocks, in a sing-song tone of voice. I half-expect a suggestive whistle next. “Ow-!” I had no idea Fukase could move that fast. Within a flash, he’s whacked Neru across the back of the head, and just as quickly, he’s back to his usual position and blank expression. This earns a round of laughter from Teto and Dell.

“I believe we should get going,” the red-headed boy casually says. He is the first to stroll out of the door, and we follow after, Neru pouting and rubbing the back of her head.

The walk home is just as long as it had been in the morning. I think I’ll start to get used to this eventually. With such welcoming friends by my side, I have no doubt about that. Anyway, the only difference this time is that Neru, Teto and Fukase leave our side at different points, since their houses are off in different directions. That leaves Dell and I for the remaining ten minutes or so. For a while, we walk in silence, appreciating the cool afternoon breeze and the sounds of birds chirping far away. It’s been a hectic day, but now that I’m close to home, I start to think about my friends at home. Well, I barely have any friends at all at home any more… But perhaps I should get in contact with Meiko to tell her about today.

Eventually, Dell and I reach the path that’s close to Yukari’s home. The familiar white fence greets us, and this is where we’ll part ways. To say a proper goodbye, I stop outside the fence and turn to him with a warm smile. “Thanks for walking me home...”

Dell laughs, and it’s only now that I’m realising it’s the most refreshing, pure laugh I’ve heard in a long time. Unlike Luka, or Kaito, or any other idiot I’ve wasted my time on… I can tell that Dell really is genuine this time. I look into his eyes for quite a while without really thinking. I keep telling myself I can’t rush into things this time, but… those deep, emerald eyes are almost mesmerising… Or is it just that I’m desperate to feel wanted again? I can’t tell.

“Well, I’ll go tell Yukari about the weekend. She’ll be so happy to hear that I’ve made friends...” I softly chuckle. _I’m_ so happy that I’ve made friends. “You guys really are the best. You’re all some of the nicest people I’ve met in such a long time, aside from my old friends at home.”

“Hmm. Yeah, maybe one day you can tell us all about what your life was like before you came here,” Dell says, with a nod. “I bet you had quite the life, huh, city girl?” There’s that teasing grin again…

“Oh, if only you knew,” I remark playfully. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I give him a wave and turn on my heels – and with that, we part ways for today. I head down the path that leads to Yukari’s home, a bright smile on my face; a sharp contrast from the nervous wreck I had been this morning. I still have quite a lot ahead of me for tonight. I think I’ll spend the night talking with Meiko. I bet she won’t be able to believe how much fun I’m having over here. I wish she could be here with me, but…

I’ll do my best to be strong.

**...**


	12. An Unexpected Moment

[Len Kagamine’s P.O.V]

It hasn’t been all that long since Rin left. But being apart from her for even such a short amount of time feels like torture. I still can’t get over the fact that it’s all my fault she left in the first place. If only I had been just a little kinder to her, she wouldn’t be all alone in a new place… Wouldn’t have to leave any of her friends behind… Yet at the same time, I know this is best for her. Maybe it’s best for me, too. She can live a normal life and be surrounded by brand new faces and hopefully make some more lifelong friends. As for me… This feels like a punishment, but perhaps I can take this as a sign that we were never going to be together at all. Maybe I can even… slowly try to move on from her.

These thoughts have been racing through my mind from the moment I woke up this morning. It’s a mild Tuesday morning, and I’m currently sitting at the kitchen table, taking small bites of breakfast. The tension between me and my parents has been the only other problem since Rin left. Although they’re being kind to me, smiling, and preparing my breakfast and packing my lunch… I can just tell they don’t fully trust me any more. They’ve given me countless chances before this, and it seems that they’re finally all out of patience and our bond is irreparable now.

It’d be nice if I could just pack up and leave, too. I have nothing left here. Rin is gone, I can’t work things out with my parents, and my circle of friends is getting smaller. I’m pretty sure the only one who can still stand the mere sight of me is Meiko. I don’t blame Miku if she’s only being nice to me because she feels sorry for me at this point. Kaito and Piko have joined up with the local asshole group, so it’s only the two girls and I that remain. Yeah… Fuck. I barely have anything any more.

Finishing up my breakfast in silence, I take a quick glance between my mother and father. Father is hiding behind a newspaper as he usual, and Mother is making a start on loading the washing machine. Sighing lightly, I grab my backpack from where it rests on the floor next to my seat. I swing one of the straps over my shoulder, and use my free hand to pick up my plate and set it next to the sink. The least I can do is pull my own weight and put things away myself. Perhaps tomorrow, I’ll get up earlier and make my own lunch, too. I don’t want to burden my parents any further.

Once I’ve put away my plate, I slide the remaining strap over my shoulder and turn to head over to the front door. “I’m… I’ll be off now.” I speak in a low voice, saying goodbye to my parents. I don’t hear much back, but that’s probably because I get out of the house as quickly as possible.

When I arrive at school, I end up catching sight of Meiko and Miku walking together just a little further ahead of me. I make the decision at that moment to not let these strange new circumstances get in the way of my friendship with the girls. We’ve still been through a lot together, and if they don’t want to give up on that special bond, then I won’t either. “Hey, Meiko! Miku!” I call out, and they both stop in their tracks, turning around to face me.

“Ah, Lenny!” Meiko greets me with her usual bright grin. She seems to be in a much better mood than yesterday; that puts my worries at ease. I catch up to the girls within a few seconds, and we begin to walk into school together.

“Good morning, Len.” Miku smiles sweetly at me. Maybe she isn’t _just_ pitying me after all. I really should have more faith in my friends than that, huh?

“You seem to be in a good mood, Meiko,” I say.

“Mhm, mhm!” she nods, with a joy-filled giggle. “I stayed up practically all last night speaking with Rinny. It was so good to just see her and hear her voice!~ She told me all about her first day at her new school.” I feel slight jealousy tug at my heart, but I know I shouldn’t.

“Do you mind… telling me about it?” I hesitantly ask her. It feels wrong to ask that, considering Rin probably wouldn’t want me knowing all about her new life, but I just want to know if she’s settling in well.

“I’d love to hear, as well,” Miku softly adds. We have about half an hour until school begins, so Meiko agrees, and we head towards some of the benches situated on the field.

“For a start, Rinny really is settling in at her new home,” Meiko begins, leaning back against the bench. She closes her eyes for a moment, a thoughtful expression on her face, as though she’s remembering every little thing Rin told her.

Miku sits down beside Meiko, so I plop myself on the other end of the bench right next to Miku. “I’m glad to hear that,” the teal-haired girl says.

“Yeah...” I sigh in agreement. Rin fits in just about anywhere she goes. She’s got that sweet, charming type of personality – it’s hard not to love her from the moment you meet her. The way her eyes light up when that awkward phase melts away…

“She told me all about her aunt Yukari,” Meiko continues, before looking at me. “You don’t know Yukari very well, right?”

Hmm. “I think I briefly remember meeting her, but Mother told me she’s lived in some small village out in the countryside ever since she was old enough to leave home,” I answer, giving a shrug. So, that’s who Rin is living with right now. I just hope she takes care of my sister.

“Well, as lovely as her aunt is and all, Rin was saying that her school is even better,” Meiko says, although as she comes out with the next part, a bittersweet smile pulls at her lips. “Apparently, the people there are way nicer than everyone else here… There aren’t any bullies, everyone is super close with each other… And she found a new group to settle into. They’ve been best friends for years, but they welcomed her and treated her like she’s been there alongside them all this time.”

I understand that sad smile of hers. It’s very painful to hear the harsh reality that Rin is already starting to prefer her new school over this one at home. “It’s what she’s needed all this time, huh?” I quietly ask, lowering my gaze.

“I know Rin will always love all of us. Even you, Len...” Miku responds, trying her best to reassure me in a gentle tone. I resist the urge to laugh bitterly. She definitely does still love Miku and Meiko, that’s for sure. But not me.

“I must admit, being in such a friendly environment must be doing wonders for Rin’s confidence and self-esteem,” Meiko adds. “She didn’t need all those bullies constantly dragging her down. I don’t think she could’ve handled much more – in fact, she kinda said something along those lines last night. With Luka and her gang… And even Kaito.”

“Well… As long as she’s happy… Then I’m happy.” Miku confidently says this, nodding to herself. I wish I could have that kind of mentality. I simply remain silent, letting Meiko continue.

She tells us a bit about Rin’s new group of friends. Two girls named Teto and Neru. Two boys named Fukase and Dell. Again, that feeling of jealousy flares up when Meiko mentions the boys, even though I know Rin likes both boys _and_ girls. The only reason I feel jealousy specifically towards the boys is because Meiko ends up saying just a bit too much, and slips the fact that Rin is getting on very well with the boy named Dell. It’s so typical of Rin to get ahead of herself and catch a new crush… I can’t say I blame her. She wants to feel loved. I just hope Dell doesn’t mess with her like all the other people she once had a crush on. Because I _will_ find a way to catch up to him and make him pay if he ever hurts her.

Something that’s interesting, however, is the way Miku’s expression shifts ever so slightly once Meiko starts talking about Rin’s two new girl friends. Meiko is oblivious as always to those subtle kind of changes; I only notice in the first place because my eyes have been wandering between Meiko and Miku, as I expected Miku to add her thoughts just like she’s been doing up until now.

“Hehe, she told me that Teto totally reminds her of me,” Meiko laughs. “But apparently, this Neru girl isn’t anything like either of me or Miku. She’s like, uh… I dunno, I guess kind of tomboyish? But she sounds like the loyal, protective type, too.”

There it is again. That expression shift on Miku’s face. I don’t stare right at Miku, of course – I just keep watch from the corner of my eye, and I can pinpoint exactly when she looks a bit nervous. It’s when that Neru girl is mentioned. There’s no way Miku knows her though, right? As far as I know, Miku’s lived in this area all of her life. Then again, maybe I’m looking a bit too deep into this. I’ve been on edge this entire time too, stressing and worrying about Rin… Maybe Miku feels the same way.

Sighing quietly to myself, I decide not to focus on it. I push those thoughts from my mind, dismissing them as a silly overreaction. All of us are a little all over the place right now, so it’s likely nothing more than concern. Meiko talks for a little bit longer, but after a while, she’s interrupted by the sound of the bell from the distance.

My eyes widen a little bit, as I’m caught off guard by the sound ringing out. We must have been talking for a lot longer than anticipated. Which means we’re now late to class. “Ah, great,” I groan to myself. I don’t need to be in any more trouble at school than I already am. I feel bad for the girls as well, though. I don’t think they’ve ever been accidentally late – well, I think Meiko might have been because of how clumsy she is… But definitely not Miku. Never.

“Ooh, I’m sorry…! I talked for too long!” Meiko apologises, with a whine.

“Oh no, my perfect attendance record!” Miku cries out, jolting up from the bench. “Quickly, let’s go, let’s go!” Before Meiko and I are even fully stood up, Miku has already dashed away from the field and makes a beeline right for the school doors. It’s not that far away. She could have easily power walked and only be a couple minutes late.

This leaves the two of us dumbfounded at her uncharacteristic panic. Meiko and I exchange glances, expressions blank… and a bit confused. Miku’s always been the model student, so to see her absolutely lose her shit when she’s faced with being literally two minutes late… Wow. I can’t help but chuckle, and not long after Meiko also breaks and begins to giggle along with me.

“I’m really glad I still have you and Miku, Lenny,” she says, slowly regaining her composure. We start to walk at a leisurely pace towards the school from the benches, and I let out a long sigh.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I did to deserve those kind words… Not to mention you girls still being my friends,” I reply. After a little bit of silence, the school doors come into sight. Meiko mustn’t know how to respond to that at first.

With a thoughtful hum, Meiko soon answers once we enter the main hall. “I dunno… I just can’t hate you, Lenny. I’ve definitely been mad at you, though.” She flashes a teasing grin at me. That’s true. But I still can’t quite understand why she’s forgiven me. “It’s hard to explain. There’s just… this feeling inside of me...”

I raise a brow as she utters those words – I’m left speechless when she stops in her tracks for a moment. I stop beside her, and for some reason, the mood between us changes when our eyes meet. “What do you mean by that?” I try to push her to explain further.

Meiko breaks eye contact, looking down to the floor. She opens her mouth to say something. I swear I can see more colour in her cheeks than usual. But before she can get any words out, a harsh voice interrupts the moment.

“Oi, you two! Get a move on, didn’t you hear the bell?!” A hall monitor who’s two or three years our senior barks his orders at us, causing Meiko to look up from the floor and straight over to him. She smiles apologetically at him and begins walking to class without any other words.

“Huh…?” I mutter to myself, rubbing at the back of my neck. Why was that so intense all of a sudden? I stand for another couple of moments trying to figure out what just happened, but I’m snapped out of thought by that aggressive hall monitor once again. There’s a swift smack to the back of my head within a split second – there’s no way I could’ve seen something like that coming. “What the-?!” I stumble forward at impact.

“Are you deaf, kid?! Get a fuckin’ move on!” he growls.

“Geez! Alright, alright – I’m going!” I complain in an irritated tone, starting to swiftly make my way over to class, rubbing the back of my now sore head. “What an asshole.” I mumble this under my breath, making sure he doesn’t hear. I forgot how brutal this school is. Rin really has gotten a lucky break.

…

The school day is over before I know it. It’s also as uneventful as ever. Well, it’s only been uneventful since Kaito and Piko fucked us over, and of course, since Rin… It’s so hard to go a whole day without thinking about her. A lot of different things remind me of her, and all the fun we had as a group of best friends. It’s pretty hard to believe our birthday wasn’t that long ago, and it only took a short amount of time for it to go downhill from there.

When we’re dismissed from our last class of the day, I’m preparing to go home by myself. However, both Meiko and I are called over by Miku, who’s standing at the classroom door, waving to us. She must want to continue this morning’s conversation, since we didn’t touch on it any more at lunch time. We head over to meet up with her, and we exit the class together.

“What’s up, Miku?” I ask, once we’re a bit further away from the loud students hanging around right outside the classroom.

“Yeah, what is it?~” Meiko echoes my question, although in a much more cheerful, upbeat tone.

“Um, I...” Miku sounds hesitant. She pauses to find the right words. “I was wondering if you two would like to come over to my house tonight.”

“Ooh! I’d love to, I’d love to!” Meiko is the first to answer, jumping up and down happily. Enthusiastic as ever. Miku breaks out into a grin upon hearing Meiko’s answer, and then they both turn to look expectantly at me.

“Uhh...” They’re both looking at me with puppy eyes. Oh no. How am I supposed to resist this? It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with them… But I don’t think my parents trust me quite enough to let me stay out after school just yet. “Well, ya see…” My words trail off. I pause to think for a moment. My parents really can’t get _any_ more annoyed at me right now. If I stay out for a few extra hours after school, I don’t think they’ll care enough to shout at me again. Sure, they’ll be disappointed, but I doubt they’re going to forgive me any time soon, so why should I care? This is probably a dumb decision, but…

“Aww, please don’t say you can’t,” Meiko pouts at me.

“I-It’s okay, Len. I understand...” Miku is also frowning. God damn these two and their guilt trips…!

“N-No! No, it’s fine!” I immediately shake my head at them, trying to reassure them as it looks like they’re about to fake cry any moment now. Anything but that, please. “I’ll come along with you girls, don’t worry.”

Miku clasps her hands together, lighting up as soon as I say those words – Meiko is quick to follow in beaming brightly once more, too. Damn them… Why must they be this way…? “Yay! Then let’s go!” She links her arm through Meiko’s, and we begin to walk out of the school doors.

The time spent at Miku’s house isn’t so bad. Her house is a bit closer to school than mine, so the walk there doesn’t take long at all. Once we’re inside and chatting away in the living room, it begins to feel like the good old days. Her parents are out at work and won’t be home for a while, so we have the whole place to ourselves – it also means we can eat all the junk food we want and be as loud as we want for the time being. It’s a very fun time, and it serves as a good distraction to shut my mind up. It’s not that I don’t want to think about Rin, but the constant worries and thoughts are slowly driving me insane.

It’s around 8pm now, and we’ve only just finished watching some anime movie in the living room. I make a grab for the remains of the popcorn in our huge sharing bowl, with a smirk. Meiko makes a dive for it at the same time as me, but I’m only _just_ too fast for her. “Too slow,” I say, proudly shovelling the food into my mouth.

“Noooo, that’s no fair!” Meiko begins to whine, puffing her cheeks out in frustration.

Miku softly giggles at the interaction. “Such a meanie, Len. A gentleman never lets a lady go hungry.”

“A gentleman? Where?” I speak with my mouth half full, and exaggerate my movements, turning my head to the left then to the right. “I don’t see a gentleman anywhere around here.”

“Meanie, big meanie!” Meiko stomps her feet off the couch, and out of nowhere, I feel something being whacked off the side of my head.

“Ow!” I complain, groaning at the sneak attack. When I turn to look at Meiko, she’s the one who’s grinning proudly, holding a pillow in her hands. “Now that was mean.”

“Nuh-uh!” She shakes her head, before sticking her tongue out at me.

“Ahaha...” Miku lets out a laugh, followed by a happy sigh. She grabs the TV remote and switches the set off. She leans back against the couch, getting a bit more comfortable. Just as I’m about to squabble some more with Meiko, Miku speaks up to interrupt us. “Hey, guys…? There was kind of a reason why I invited you both here tonight.”

“Hmm?” I raise a brow, looking to the teal-haired girl. Her expression is now kinda serious, and there’s a nervous twitch of her eyebrows – that face matches the one I saw her make this morning while we were talking about Rin. The mood changes to a slightly more tense one; even Meiko is silent now, not daring to make a joke.

“Well, I… I couldn’t keep it in any longer, y’see...” Miku says, in a hushed tone. It’s like she feels guilty or something. Has Luka been bullying her again? I swear to all that is holy, I’ll mess her up if she’s going to try and hurt my friends again.

“What is it…?” Meiko gently urges Miku to continue, a sincere smile pulling at her lips. We’re both looking right at Miku, waiting.

“It’s about what you said this morning, Meiko. About Rin’s new friends,” she starts. I narrow my eyes slightly at this. Had that suspicion of mine really been correct? “Uh, well, more specifically… Neru.”

“Don’t tell me you know her...” My thoughts suddenly slip out of my mind. I couldn’t help but say that.

I expect Miku to look surprised, but instead, she hangs her head. “I grew up with her, actually. I know that doesn’t sound too bad on its own, but… Oh, god… I can’t believe this.” Those words must be an echo of what we’re all thinking right now. ‘I can’t believe this’. She buries her head in her hands for a few moments, appearing to lose her composure. Although I’m not mad at her, I am a bit disappointed. I thought everything she told me about Luka was the only thing that she’s keeping secret from us.

“It’s okay, Miku,” Meiko speaks up after a few moments of silence, during Miku’s heavy breathing. She reaches over to her friend, rubbing her back reassuringly. With the comfort of her friend, the teal-haired girl appears to regain control of herself; she lifts her head up, but her expression is miserable.

“Neru and I grew up together...” Miku starts again, and her eyes begin to sparkle lightly with tears. I hold my breath, waiting for the worst to come. The words that come out of her mouth next are words I never expected to hear. “But what I haven’t told either of you... is that… Luka grew up with us, too.”

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, totally unrelated question and 100% hypothetical, but would you guys kill me if I paired off Len and Meiko?


	13. Always There For Her

[Miku Hatsune’s P.O.V]

Looking between Meiko and Len, their facial expressions are wildly different from each other. Meiko doesn’t look anywhere near enough angry as Len, but I can see that subtle sort of disappointment because I didn’t mention any of this sooner. I’ve kept this secret for years because of the way Luka ended up being such a horrible bully to my best friends. I feel nothing but guilt and I know how badly I’ve betrayed them both – especially Rin. They’ve been my family ever since I moved here. I just didn’t expect Luka to turn into the person she is today.

“Lenny, give her a chance to explain please,” Meiko reaches forward and squeezes the top of Len’s hand. That touch doesn’t do much to calm his emotions, and understandably so.

“I… don’t even know where to start.” I chew on my lower lip, sniffling lightly.

“I’d say from the beginning,” Meiko softly answers, giving me a slight smile.

Taking a deep breath, I begin to recollect my memories.

I spent the first ten years of my life in a beautiful village. There were many other surrounding villages, this one being closest to a big city. I’ve always dreamed about city life, wondering how the outside world worked compared to our home. I used to think a lot of kids always wondered what a life outside of their own little world would be, but despite that, I had an amazing life.

The school was the best part. All the kids I grew up amongst at the village were all there along with me, and that was where I met my best friends, who I thought I’d be with forever. It really was perfect.

When I first told Len the truth about how I helped out Luka and convinced her to come back to the city for the second time… It was mostly true. Except my friendship with Luka stretched back a lot further than just a month. But when she transferred back at school in the city for the second time, it felt like she was a completely different person, even though I already knew about her mean ways. She had changed, a lot. I wasn’t sure what did it, but I had my suspicions.

That encounter I told Len was true, as well. When I helped her out in the bathroom. We used to be so close when we grew up together back at our true home, the village full of our happy memories. But I suppose those memories haunted Luka far too much, because when she came to the city, it was like she didn’t want anything to do with me. I was part of her painful past – she wanted to forget everything relating to that village, including me. And by the time she first came here, I had already settled in with my new group of best friends.

But I still wanted to help her. It was so foolish of me, but… Damn it. Seeing her again after being separated for a few years brought up feelings that I was deeply ashamed of. The effects of adolescence were already starting to set in during that time. Everyone around me was growing up; I didn’t expect it to hit me so hard, but it did. I couldn’t even describe those feelings at first. They came up so suddenly, and barely had any time to blossom into something beautiful, because Luka was gone again as quickly as she appeared. I was left confused and empty for a long time, but one summer, I decided to take a holiday back to my true home in the village with my family.

**...**

The hot air was almost overpowering. Stepping foot outside of an air-conditioned house was probably a very bad idea, but I wanted to go out and take a trip down memory lane. One of my uncles was still living in the village, and although our holiday here was very abrupt and unplanned, he agreed to take us in for the few weeks that we were staying. I was excited beyond belief to finally be back amongst everyone I used to know, but one of the main reasons I wanted to come back… was to see Luka. Not just Luka, of course, but Neru. My two childhood best friends.

I left the village when I was ten, almost eleven. Unfortunately, I never did get back in contact with Neru while I was living a brand new life in the big city. Same situation for Luka. I knew the kind of person Luka turned out to be, but I was hoping Neru was still as sweet yet mischievous as I remember. I took in a breath of the air – the scent of freshly cut grass and nearby blossom trees greeted me.

I stood on the front path of my uncle’s house, hands on hips as I surveyed my surroundings. It was still incredibly beautiful and breath-taking. I didn’t ever want to leave this place, but my father had a job opportunity over in the city that he just couldn’t deny. “Alright!” I grinned, putting my arms back at my sides and strutting down the front path. Along with taking a trip down memory lane, I also made plans to spend a day out with both Neru and Luka. My parents got into contact with Neru’s once we knew we were taking a holiday here, and Neru’s parents went ahead to plan a few trips out here and there so we could reconnect. According to her parents, Neru would see if Luka could come along for some outings.

Today was one of those outings that Luka agreed to come along on. I was a bit surprised at first when I heard that kind of news. I half expected Luka to want nothing to do with me after the way she treated my friends in the city, but perhaps all of us being together again changed her mind. Maybe even Neru was able to soften Luka’s heart and convince her to ease off. I laughed lightly to myself, all sorts of possibilities running through my mind.

We were scheduled to meet up at a cafe not too far away from my uncle’s house. With the way the houses were situated, we were in an area that was close to the small town. Of course, there weren’t many huge shops or anything – everything consisted of local businesses as opposed to big brand names. And that was one of the many things I loved about this village. I headed down the winding path that led down a hill into town, smiling and waving at the people who recognised me. It was lovely to see so many familiar faces, and it warmed my heart knowing they still remembered me.

I hummed lightly to myself as I walked down the hill, with a skip in my step. My hair was tied into one single ponytail today; I thought I’d change up my look a little bit, plus I figured it might help me cool down better in this heat. I wasn’t sure if it was working, but oh well. As I hopped along, I saw the town come into view finally, and so I adjusted the straw sun-hat that rested on my head, then straightened out my frilly, short white dress. I didn’t know why I was fussing so much over my appearance. And… Was my heart always pounding this much? Maybe it was the heat getting to me, causing my cheeks to feel so flushed.

Taking in a breath to steady myself, I soon found myself not too far from the cafe. Everything looked just the same as it did a few years ago. Trying not to lose myself in sweet nostalgia for too long, I caught sight of the tables outside of the cafe. Naturally, the town was bustling. A lot of villagers had shopping bags in their hands; children were running around and playing with each other, and some of the elderly villagers were taking a casual stroll. When I looked over to the tables again, I caught sight of them.

Two girls. There was no mistaking them. One with pink hair tied into high double buns, and another with hair tied into a side ponytail. Luka definitely looked different, but the girl with her… “Neru!” I called her name first, breaking out into a great big grin. The girls both turned to look at me as I approached their table.

“Oh, Miku! It’s sooo good to see you.~” Her voice had definitely gotten a little more mature than the last time we spoke – of course. She used to sound like a cute little scamp, like she was always trying to sound tougher than she was. But now, that toughness stood out, in a more playful way. She and Luka were sitting opposite each other, so I sat down on the chair that was sticking out from the side of the table.

“Wow, it’s been so long. I can’t believe we’re all together again!” I said, overjoyed. Neru genuinely did look happy to see me. It was a reunion long overdue, and it made me wish I never had to leave. When I flicked my glance over to Luka, she was smiling softly. It hadn’t been long since Luka and I last spoke, but for some reason, it really did feel like it had been forever. Had she always been this pretty…? I was breathless, but maybe it was just because I wasn’t used to hiking in the hot sun.

“Miku’s such a cutie now, isn’t she, Neru?” Luka spoke, smiling over at the blonde.

“Mm, totally,” she answered, snickering lightly. “So, what brings you here anyway, hmm, city mouse?”

I blinked in surprise for a moment at the strange way Neru referred to me. I certainly didn’t remember her speaking like that when we were last together. “O-Oh, y’know… My father had a bit of a break from work, so we were able to take a holiday for the first time in a while.”

“Hmm, I see. That’s nice,” Neru answered, giving a nod. That’s when I noticed the girls had already went ahead and ordered themselves some drinks. They both had ice cold milkshakes, and Luka was stirring hers with a straw while Neru and I chatted.

“Ah, you girls ordered?” I casually asked. I tried not to make a huge fuss over it, because I suppose it wasn’t, but… Huh.

“Of course we did, silly,” Luka said, giggling. I didn’t want to assume things, but something here felt… weird. That tone of hers was almost sort of patronising, and it caused my mouth to turn dry. I was getting worried. “It’s so hot out here, I felt like I might faint!”

“Ugh, tell me about it,” Neru agreed, rolling her eyes. She swirled her straw too, before taking another sip.

“Aha, of course...” I slowly nodded, giving a strained laugh. There was a bit of an awkward silence hanging between us after that, so I decided to flick my glance between the two. There definitely was a different sort of atmosphere around Neru, but I couldn’t quite figure out what was causing it.

I scanned my eyes over the girls quickly, and noted that they were dressed in a similar sort of fashion. They both had their nails done; they were long, sparkly and decorated neatly. I expected to see Luka with a brand new set of nails, but it wasn’t something I expected from Neru. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be so expectant, considering Neru and I hadn’t interacted for a while. It was only three years, but a lot could change in that span of time. She didn’t seem to be the same sweet, selfless girl she was… She reminded me far too much of Luka – almost like a mirror image, in terms of latest fashion, shallowness, and the way she spoke. More specifically, she near enough perfectly mimicked a city teenager. Or at least, she resembled a lot of the kids I had come across there.

“Sooo, Miku.” It seemed like Neru wanted to start a conversation with me. The girls were on their phones up until a moment ago; I felt like I was suffocating in the silence, so I was glad to talk some more. “Have you met any cute boys over at your new home? Anyone you’re possibly dating?”

Each thing she said was more absurd than the last. I didn’t recall Neru being like this at all. This was a nightmare. I didn’t let any of my feelings show on my face, though. I played it cool, trying to blend in. Why was I trying so hard all of a sudden? If SeeU, Lily or Gumi tried to ask me something like this, I would never give them the time of day. This was exactly the type of person Neru had become. So why was I trying? “Oh, ahah… N-No, not really. I guess I’m just focusing on schoolwork until I feel ready for that kind of stuff.”

“Aww. Miku’s always been the goody two shoe types,” Luka chimed in, a sickly sweet tone coming from her. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s quite… cute… that you’re still the same way.”

“She hasn’t changed a bit. She’s still our sweet little Miku,” Neru added, agreeing with the pink-haired girl. This felt so surreal. How were they being so patronising and rude, yet not directly saying anything too offensive? I felt like I was stuck as my ten year old self at this moment, whereas my old best friends had grown up without me. I had to try and do something to stop their attitude from becoming progressively worse, right…? I didn’t want to be too judgemental, considering Luka’s family circumstances – and Neru had always been easily impressionable.

I took in a breath to prepare myself. “Girls, I...”

“Oh! Sorry, I just got a text.” Neru suddenly blurted that out, interrupting me before I could even begin to speak my mind. She stared down at her phone for a few moments, and then let out a heavy groan. “Geez… Mom needs me back at home. Dad apparently got sick out of nowhere and apparently she can’t handle him on her own.”

“Seriously? She’s a grown adult, isn’t she?” Luka scoffed.

“Maybe your mom thinks you can help cheer your dad up while he’s sick…?” I sheepishly suggest, which earned me a blank stare from both girls. I gulped.

“Tch. Yeah, right.” Neru rolled her eyes right at me, and then stood up from her seat. “Well, it was cool to see you again, Miku. Maybe we’ll catch up later. Bye-bye.” She nonchalantly waved to both Luka and I, then began to head off in the direction of the houses.

“Bye, Neru!” Luka called to the blonde, before sipping up the rest of her milkshake. She sighed, sounding rather tired. That was such a strange reunion. And now I was left alone with Luka. I had the feeling this wouldn’t go well.

…

I’ve been pouring out my memories to my friends for a while now. I’m not even sure how much time has passed at this point, but Len and Meiko have been listening to me in silence, allowing me to tell them just about everything. It’s been incredibly difficult reliving all those things, especially remembering how cruel Neru turned out to be. I was only fourteen at the time, and after Neru left to help her mother, I didn’t see her again for the rest of my holiday.

I let out a shaky sigh, deciding to take a break, as I can feel my emotions starting to overwhelm me again. It’s too much to handle, and I’d rather not tell them every single thing. There are still some things I have to keep to myself, because I know they’d never accept me as their friend again if I told them. There’s silence for quite a long time, and I assume it’s because they want to process exactly what this new information means and how it’s relevant to Rin.

But finally, Len seems to get it. “So, my sister is stuck over there with that Neru girl,” he says. “Are you trying to say she might end up bullying Rin?”

I chew on my lower lip, unsure on how to answer that kind of question. Even though we had reunited just over a year ago, and it was clear just how different she was... It’s hard to tell if she’s still that kind of person. Anything could’ve happened to make her change her attitude between then and now. “I… I wish I knew how to answer that,” I mumble, in a defeated tone. My head is aching. “I honestly don’t think she’s a bully. She’s just a bit… passive aggressive. Nice on the outside, but she covers her insults by pretending they’re compliments and jokes. Think of the way Luka is, but maybe tone it down a little bit.” I feel bad even talking about Luka like that. Especially after what happened between us on that day…

“I’m glad you told us, Miku.” Meiko finally joins in the conversation, giving me a soft grin. “Maybe she only acted that way because Luka was around,” she suggests. I really don’t want to blame anyone. But I don’t want Rin to get hurt again.

“What was the point of telling us this, anyway?” Len asks, in a cold tone. I’m a bit stunned by the sudden change from him. “Rin is in the middle of nowhere, and we’re all the way over here, where we can’t do a single fucking thing to stop her from being hurt again!” He lashes out at me, and all I can do is stare with wide, teary eyes. I know he has good intentions, because he wants to protect his sister… But I thought it would be the best thing to tell the truth.

“Lenny...” Meiko reaches a hand out to him, trying to calm him down. He just swats her hand away, his eyebrows furrowing in irritation, before pulling himself up from the sofa. “Aren’t you just glad she told us the truth instead of hiding it?”

“Do you really think it makes a god damn difference either way?” Len remarks, with a scowl. “Knowing the truth or still being oblivious, there’s nothing we’ll be able to do. You’re just so… fucking useless…!” He spits those words out, and I’m not sure if they’re directed towards me or just to himself. Either way, it hurts.

“Please Lenny, calm down. This isn’t helping any of us…! Miku did what she thought was best, and that’s it,” Meiko calmly responds. I still can’t find words to defend myself. That look in his eyes… He’s full of fire.

“I can’t stand this shit any more.” Len isn’t yelling at me now. He mutters those words to himself in a fatigued tone. Without saying anything else, he turns on his heels and storms out of the living room, head hanging low.

Meiko and I can’t do anything to stop him. There’s silence for a few moments… The distant sound of footsteps, and then a loud door slam. I can’t help but flinch at the harsh noise, my heart pounding in my chest, and tears ready to spill from my eyes.

“I… ahh...” Meiko is visibly flustered; her eyes dart between the living room door and me. “H-He’s just a bit stressed, that’s all. He can’t bear to be apart from his own twin sister, y’know? Heh...” She weakly laughs.

“I shouldn’t have said anything… Should I?” I seek her approval now that he’s gone.

“I’m not sure if it was necessary or unnecessary,” Meiko quietly admits, lowering her glance momentarily. Then, she looks back up at me with confidence. “But you were honest with us, and that’s all that matters…!” Nothing more can be said about this situation at this point. I thought that by admitting my connection with Luka and Neru, we could somehow band together to protect Rin from those two. Thinking on it now, though, it was foolish and it really wouldn’t have made a difference if I kept my mouth shut.

“All I wanted to do… was protect Rin...” I whisper, though it’s mostly to myself.

“I’m sure he’ll understand that soon,” Meiko says, but even I can hear the lack of assurance in her voice. “A-Anyway… Do you want me to sleep over tonight? We can still have some fun, if you want. Maybe play some games?”

I look over at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s not long after 9pm – my parents still aren’t home yet. It seems like they’ll be staying out overnight, meaning if I let Meiko go home now, I’ll be left alone with my invasive thoughts all night. A sudden idea flashes into my mind. What if I politely ask Meiko to leave… and confide in someone else instead? Oh boy, this could be a very, very bad idea. But it’s what I want. “It’s okay, Meiko… You don’t need to worry about me, I’ll be fine.” I manage to flash a soft smile, wiping at my eyes.

She gives a pout in return. “I don’t mind looking after you if you’re still sad,” she tries to insist.

I shake my head, acting like I’ll be okay. “Thank you, Meiko. But you should go home and rest up. It’s getting late and all,” I gently laugh. With a sigh, she reluctantly gives in with a nod. She stands up, says goodnight to me and makes her way out of the house.

With that, I’m left alone. But I’m hoping I won’t have to be for long. I inhale deeply, trying to settle my nerves. I pull my phone out of my pocket and switch the screen on. I navigate through my contacts, and click on an all too familiar name. My movements pause for a moment; my fingertips hover over the call button. Whenever I get into contact with her, something bad always happens not too long after. Deep down, I know I should stay away from her, but something keeps telling me that she needs to be saved. Considering our history, I feel somewhat responsible for her…

“Besides, I need her right now,” I mutter to myself. “Maybe she needs me, too?” I finally stop delaying the inevitable, making the call.

…

It had taken quite a bit of convincing, but now I’m sitting on my bedroom floor, opposite Luka. I’m still not entirely sure why my mind went straight to her when I wanted comfort. The fact that she’s here now, though… It only proves what I’ve always thought. She’s not entirely heartless. “So, I...”

“I wanted to tell you something.” Just as I start speaking in a low tone, she also starts to say something, in a more audible tone.

“O-Oh...” I stutter, blinking in surprise. Is that why she’s here now? “Go ahead.” Even though there’s a lot I want to get off my chest, I figure it can’t hurt to hear her out first.

“I only came here because… Well...” She draws in a breath. “I think it’s best if we don’t see each other again. I mean… We should cut our, uh, ‘friendship’ off.”

“Huh?” I’m not sure how to take those words. But what I do know is that the moment I hear them, something deep in me starts to ache. Her eyes are so serious. I don’t say anything else, and wait for her to continue.

“I just wanted to let you know,” Luka says. She lowers her glance to the floor. “I’m… I’m a terrible person, Miku. You know that. I don’t want you wasting your time trying to help me any more.”

“Th-That’s ridiculous, Luka…!” Without thinking, I reach forward and grab hold of her shoulder. She lifts her head up to look at me, eyes wide. A nervous gasp gets caught in my throat when I realise what I’ve done, and for a short while, there’s silence as we gaze into each other’s eyes. I can see that she’s broken. She’s been through more than I can imagine during our time as friends, and I feel as though I’m the only one in the whole world who understands her.

“Stop being so nice to me…!” She hisses at me through gritted teeth, shoving my hand off her shoulder. She pulls herself to her feet after that, and folds her arms over her chest. “I don’t deserve to be helped. I don’t deserve a second chance. I… I wish you’d just stop trying to be my friend, damn it…!” She then turns on her heels, her back facing me.

Sighing, I stand up and decide to talk to her back. “I won’t pretend that you didn’t hurt my friends. You said some horrible things, especially about Rin...”

“Exactly. I made her life a waking nightmare, all because of my stupid insecurities, and my stupid family.” I can’t see her face, but I can hear the break in Luka’s voice.

“I wasn’t finished. You said all those awful things, but I know that deep down, you didn’t mean any of it!” Clutching a fist to my chest, I reach out my free hand to her back, wondering if she’ll accept my reassuring touch yet. “You got drawn in by Lily and the others because you were weak and vulnerable… And you thought they genuinely cared about you. It’s not your fault, Luka. That’s what truly cold-hearted people do; prey on insecure people like you. But it’s not too late to break free from them.” I lower my arm, realising my words might not be getting through to her.

Her head hangs low, and she’s unresponsive for quite some time. I desperately want to help her now that she’s revealing her true feelings. Finally, she breaks the silence, turning back around to slowly face me. Our eyes meet. I can see the tears in her eyes, something I haven’t seen in a long time. “I can’t break free any more, Miku...” she whispers. “I’ve said so many horrible things. I’ve completely fucked up things between your friends, and now… Rin is gone because of me…! I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do!” She breaks eye contact, only to squeeze her eyes shut and begin to break down in tears.

I can only watch as she stands in front of me, her entire body trembling, with soft sobbing noises escaping her lips. I have no idea how to react to this at first – am I supposed to hug her? Tell her everything will be okay? Even if I forgive her, I highly doubt that Meiko and Len will do the same. And I know Rin will never forgive her. “Luka… Please don’t cry. We’ll work something out.” I’m not sure if I can carry out that promise, but I don’t want her to feel any more pain than what she’s expressing right now.

Luka furiously shakes her head, refusing to believe me. “We can’t work anything out… It’s impossible…!” she cries out, and her body begins to shake even more. Her chest rises and falls quicker than before, her sobs growing heavier. Seeing her like this is tearing me apart. It’s in that moment, I understand my feelings better than I ever have before. All the confusion and lack of confidence I felt before melts away. “Please, please don’t be nice to me… Please, please...” She repeats that over and over in a quiet voice.

I take a step forward and wrap my arms around her. I pull Luka into a tight, warm embrace and let my eyes slip shut. She remains static, arms at her sides for the longest time. “I’m here for you, Luka. I’m not going to give up on you, so please… Don’t give up on yourself. You deserve a second chance, and I promise you, we’ll work together to gain everyone’s trust back.”

And then, she finally breaks again. Letting out a pained howl, she returns my embrace, throwing her arms around me and accepting my help at long last. She gives up on trying to fight me; instead, she buries her head into my chest, and lets out all of the anger and sadness that’s been pent up for years. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… P-Please, please help me, Miku. I can’t stand this any longer, please, I’m begging you, help me…!”

Smiling softly, I remain silent and allow her to vent her emotions to me, all while gently rubbing her back to reassure her that everything will be okay. That warm feeling is still there deep inside me, making my heart pound lightly. Perhaps now is the worst possible time to express those feelings, but a little voice is telling me to go ahead and do it.

Luka and I stay in our embrace for what feels like forever. As time passes by, she eventually begins to calm down, her sobs growing quieter until she’s calmed down enough to pull away from my chest. When she sets herself straight, she takes in a deep breath. I look into her eyes again; her cheeks are quite red, and her eyes must be stinging, but… She still looks so beautiful even after exposing all of her inner emotions to me. She sniffles, an embarrassed expression replacing the one of sadness she was just wearing.

Seeing that she’s calmed down, I slowly lower my arms and release her from the embrace. I take a slight step back to give her some space. My shirt is soaked from her tears, but I don’t mind. Luka appears to be a bit breathless after all that. “You know, you’re welcome to stay here a bit longer. We can, um… talk some more...” I try to be as vague as possible.

“Y-Yeah, maybe,” Luka quietly mutters, giving a single nod. She wipes her eyes, sighing heavily. She turns on her heels and heads towards my bed – she sets herself down on the edge, groaning. “You’ve always been so good to me, Miku. How did I get so lucky?”

She looks over at me, so I decide to make my way over to the bed and sit down beside her. I feel the nerves welling up inside me once more; I get lost in my thoughts for a moment, wondering to myself how on earth I should bring up what I want to say. Eventually, I grow tired of overthinking it, so I just blurt something out. “I think I love you.” Apparently the filter between my brain and my mouth stops working in the process. I immediately clamp a palm over my mouth, and I’m met with a blank, wide-eyed stare from the pink-haired girl. “Ahh… I-I didn’t mean to say it like that…!”

Luka simply pouts at this. I half expect her to freak out and make fun of me, despite everything that went down previously. However, all I get is a half-hearted laugh. “You don’t love me, silly. I’ve been nothing but a total bitch to you ever since we got back in contact a few years ago. Besides, all I’ve done apart from being a bully is string you along and play with your feelings.”

I chew on my lower lip as she answers me. She’s technically correct – when I convinced her to come back home around the time of Len and Rin’s birthday, she didn’t bully me into it. She pretty much flirted with me and tricked me into thinking she was going to kiss me. I think she knew for a long time how I felt about her, even when I didn’t know my own feelings. It was definitely a cruel thing for her to do, but I can’t be mad at her for it. She’s been confused for a long time. “I already told you it wasn’t your fault. I know you didn’t mean to mess with me.”

Luka rolls her eyes – but promptly apologises for the reaction. “S-Sorry… It’s still kind of an impulse,” she nervously laughs. “But still… Just because I was vulnerable, it was no excuse to pretty much rip out your heart and crush it under my foot.” Brutal... But I guess I understand how she sees it.

“I know. But if anything, what you told me today has only reaffirmed how I feel...” I shyly answer.

“Still, it doesn’t feel right,” Luka averts her eyes. “I made fun of Rin for her crush on me… I said disgusting things just because she was a girl who liked a girl. All because of-”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me,” I interrupt, not letting her finish. I know exactly why Luka felt so strongly against anyone who isn’t straight.

“Well, the whole reason was…” She pauses to gulp. “I… I think I’m that way, too. I like boys, but… I like girls, too. I fought against it for a long, long time. I couldn’t accept myself – I was disgusted and outraged at the very mention of it, because of… Well, yeah, you know.”

I’m not that surprised to hear this from Luka. I figured a while ago she must like both, simply because of the way she used to toy with my feelings and openly flirt with me. Of course, that doesn’t mean I expected her to actually like _me._ I’m guessing she’ll tell me we’re better off as friends. “Don’t misunderstand me or anything. I don’t love you out of pity or anything… I love you for the person you are, down to every last flaw of yours. I’ve had these feelings for a few years, and I’ve only just started to accept them and realise what they are.”

“I’m not sure how I feel,” Luka answers, smiling weakly at me. “Right now, I feel… empty.”

“Well, I can help you through those feelings, you know...” I softly say, and part of me wonders where this sudden confidence boost has come from. Boldly, I continue. “Maybe if you let me… kiss you…?” I can’t believe I’ve suggested such a thing.

Luka raises a brow at me, and that’s when I see her cheeks turn red. “I… I...” She’s struggling to get her words out. Even I’m starting to feel embarrassment now. Wordlessly, she finally gives a nod.

“Aha...” I awkwardly giggle. I didn’t expect to get this far. “Y-You were supposed to turn me down. I dunno where to start now.”

A smile breaks out on Luka’s face. Her smile is so pretty… “W-Well, you get a little closer, first. Like this, see?” She shuffles closer to me on the bed, closing the small space between us. My cheeks flush with embarrassment as I feel her rest a hand on top of mine; she slides her fingers between mine, and then she takes hold of my wrist with her free hand. I’m confused at this. She moves my hand to rest against her cheek. When she lets go, I start to acknowledge how lovely and soft her skin feels. “And you… kinda sit like this.”

Oh, gosh. Is it just me or is it suddenly very hot in here? I break out into nervous laughter, unable to look her directly in the eyes. The mood is a lot different now. There’s slight tension between us and it’s starting to suffocate me. “R-Right… then I guess I…?” My words trail off, as I realise what I have to do next. “Mmph...” I can’t help but almost inaudibly whine due to the amount of pressure I’m feeling.

“Mhm… G-Go ahead...” Luka lightly nods, and with that, I watch her eyes slip shut. Her cheeks are still rosy from the tears earlier; her pink lips are parted and shining. She appears to be waiting in anticipation for me to initiate the kiss. The look on her face makes it clear that she’s just as nervous as I am, and for a short while, I can’t think of anything else except how adorable she is.

Shaking my head at myself, I snap out of it and slowly lean in. I quickly dart my eyes down to her lips, my breathing growing shaky the closer I am… And then I screw my eyes shut and very abruptly press my lips to hers. I may have done it a bit rougher and quicker than I intended, but there aren’t any complaints from Luka. Once I let go of my apprehensions and racing thoughts, an overwhelming warmth and rush of adrenaline takes control of me. My heart beats slightly harder in my chest. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I squeeze her hand a little tighter, and I can feel myself growing breathless already.

I break away from the kiss after a few moments, gasping out quietly when our lips part so that I can catch my breath. I lower my hand from her cheek. Once our eyes open, we gaze at each other for what seems like an eternity.

“I… I’ve always loved you too, you know,” Luka whispers out of nowhere. Although I should be in shock, I really only feel overjoyed from hearing those words. “So much got in the way, though… which made it impossible for me to tell you how I feel.”

That rush of adrenaline is still kicking deep inside me. And the more Luka says, the more I’m filled with a strong urge to do things I’ve never even thought of before. So, wordlessly, I cut her off just as she opens her mouth to speak. I swiftly close the gap between us, gripping onto her shoulder as our lips meet for a passionate kiss once more. I find myself putting in a lot more emotion than the first time, and I can feel her return the same level of desire. Her hand rests against my cheek, and our grips on each other makes that desire burn stronger.

“M-Miku...” Luka softly hisses against my lips when I part to take a breath. “L-Let me… show you something...” I have no time to ask her what exactly she means, as her lips are back on top of mine. I’m overcome with slight surprise when I feel a strange new sensation; Luka begins to swirl her tongue over mine, and I’m met with an indescribable, warm tingle in the pit of my stomach. As soon as she crosses our tongues, she follows it up by beginning to suck on my tongue.

“Mm…!” I softly gasp, unable to control my reaction. I’ve never felt such an amazing sensation before, and there’s another wave of that tingling feeling, except it’s stronger than before. She plays with my tongue for a little while longer before pulling back again.

“Feels good, right?” Luka breathlessly whispers, and all I can manage is a nod. “Here, you should do this...” She grabs my right hand that’s still resting on her shoulder, then guides it down to instead rest on her hip. I feel slightly embarrassed holding Luka like this, but she must want it. I’ll gladly let her guide me – I’m feeling more and more eager to experiment with her with each second that passes.

“Your body is… a-amazing,” I softly laugh, even though I’m only touching her hip.

“Aw, thank you. You’re so sweet, Miku.” Luka sincerely answers, grinning with joy in her eyes. “You want more pleasure?”

“M-Mmh...” I nod. I’m not totally stupid. That tingly feeling I got when Luka kissed me must be from… down below. Now I understand. She instructs me to stick my tongue out. I feel awkward upon hearing that request, and so I reluctantly poke a little bit of my tongue out of my parted lips.

“Hehe...~” Luka’s sweet giggle fills my ears. “You look sooo cute like that. And you taste so good. Let me have all of you...” I want to answer with some kind of stutter, but I can’t. She asks me to close my eyes, and the second I do so, I can feel Luka wrap her warm, soft lips around my tongue. I can also feel both of her hands lightly gripping my cheeks to hold me in place.

“Mm...” I quietly moan. I can feel more of that tingling sensation down below, and it’s starting to become more and more intense, the more Luka sucks on my tongue and connects our lips. She slides a hand down from my cheek and rests it on top of my thigh – I feel her gently squeeze my skin, before caressing the area. It’s such an overwhelming, unbelievable sensation. The pleasure is too much to handle. I’ve never done anything like this in my life. I’ve always been a good girl, focusing on school…! I’ve never… never even touched myself before…!

I kiss Luka back when she’s done with deeply sucking my tongue, and hesitantly following her lead, I decide to take the next step. I slip my hand under her shirt from its original position on her hip, tracing my fingertips up her stomach and then into her bra. A surprised gasp comes from Luka when I gently squeeze against her.

“O-Oh...” she whispers, breaking our kiss. “M-Miku, don’t tease me… if you don’t want to go all the way...”

I look her in the eyes and respond with confidence. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life. If I want to have my first time… I really want to have it with Luka. I don’t care if she’s done way more than me before, with other people and all that. It’s clear that the only one for me is Luka, and I’m the only one for her now. “And… if I do want to go all the way?”

Her eyes light up. “Then let me get my hands on you...” she smirks.

I can’t help but gasp, but also laugh in excitement, when she very quickly slips her hand up my skirt. She teases the hem of my panties with her fingers, sliding only her fingertips under the band. “I’m… I’m ready for you, Luka.”

Thanks to this wonderful thing called adolescence, I’ve been ready for her for a long time. “A-Ahhh...~ L-Luka…!”

**...**


	14. Temptation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey just a quick note to apologise for the delay in updates! I've been hammered down hard by college and exams over the past couple of months but now I'm finally free, I have time to work on updating a little more frequently. I can't guarantee I'll get content out quickly, but I appreciate all the support I've received so far on this story, which motivates me to keep pushing forward! <33

The events of last night had made their way into my dreams up until morning. I’ve never experienced anything like it, and it’s like my mind wants to constantly replay it. The bright rays spilling through my curtains put an early end to a particularly intimate dream. My eyes twitch from the blinding light, and a grumble escapes my lips. “Hmm… Good morning, Luka...” I whisper, shuffling over from my back onto my side, before opening my eyes. “Huh?”

Once my eyes are open, I’m met with the absence of the pink-haired girl. The other half of my bed is empty and I realise that it’s a bit more cold than usual in the bedroom now. “I...” I haven’t dreamt the whole situation, right? Luka and I definitely went to sleep in each other’s arms late last night. A pout pulls at my lips until I rationalise the current situation. Perhaps she’s already up and is using the bathroom. Or perhaps she wanted to leave before my parents return home – which they still haven’t yet, or at least I don’t think so.

I lie in bed for a few minutes in silence, listening carefully for any slight movements around the house. And… Nothing. There’s nothing. My mind instantly races with regrets. I know my feelings better than I ever have. I love Luka Megurine. But now there’s the possibility that she may have been lying the entire time, just so she can use me. I hate myself for even thinking these things, but a part of me can’t deny what Luka is really like. For a long time, she has been a bully, and she’s used people for her own personal gain. Maybe I’ve been a complete idiot to trust her.

“Tell me it’s not true...” I sit up, pulling my knees up to my chin. Groaning softly, I reach over to my bedside table and grab my phone. I feel my heart lightly pounding in my chest as I prepare to switch the screen on. I squeeze one eye shut – it’s silly, but I feel nervous to even see if there are any text messages or missed phone calls. “Ah, no...”

At the very least, I’m glad I suspected the worse… It doesn’t sting as much when I see a pretty long text in my notifications, from none other than Luka, of course. Swallowing my nerves, I open up my previously squeezed shut eye and decide to get it over with. I shift up in bed to sit, running a finger through my messy hair with a sigh. I have some time before I have to leave for school, thankfully.

‘ _I’m sorry for leaving so unexpectedly, Miku. I really hope I haven’t hurt your feelings too badly. I just don’t think we’re a good match after all. You deserve someone better than me, and after watching you fall asleep in my arms last night, stroking your cheek… I realised I can’t be the girlfriend you need. I’m too damaged, and I’ve caused you pain ever since I came back into your life. Please, move on from me. I’m going back to Lily and the other girls. They’re not perfect, but they’re all I have left in this shitty situation. If you see me at school, don’t approach me, please. I love you.’_

With each word I read, I feel my chest grow tighter and the knot in my stomach becomes almost unbearable. Tears well up in my eyes as I come to the realisation that Luka is right. I’ve been such an idiot, thinking that she and I would ever be a good couple. But still… I thought we could at least try. I sniffle, weakly wiping my tears away. I have to pull myself together. I’m just a kid, right? Things don’t have to be this complicated. I’ll have so many more chances at love in a few years. “But still… L-Luka…!”

More uncontrollable tears spill from my eyes. I can’t fight my true emotions after all. I bury my face in my hands, sobbing into my palms and shutting out the world.

…

[Rin Kagamine’s P.O.V]

“Hmm...” I lightly tap at my chin, eyes fixated on the kitchen wall opposite me. I’m lost in thought while I wait for my breakfast. There’s been so much on my mind ever since I moved here, even though it’s only been a couple of days. I just can’t help my curiosity – I’m itching to talk to Haku and find out what kind of person she is. Same old Rin, I suppose… Always attracted to the mystery. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn out to be a repeat of the situation with Luka.

“Something on your mind, dearie?” A hearty chuckle comes from beside me. When I blink and snap out of thought, I look to my left and see Yukari leaning down to place a plate of food in front of me.

“Oh… Thank you, aunty!” The serious, thoughtful expression on my face is replaced with a bright grin at the sight of food. “Mmm, yummy…!”

“Thought I’d make some good old bacon and eggs for you,” Yukari cheerily says. She’s always so full of energy in the morning. It almost motivates me to put more effort into my own day. _Almost._

“That’s wonderful, it looks great!” Her cheerful mood rubs off onto me, and I find myself grinning along with her. “Oh, and uh… No, there isn’t really much on my mind. Just kinda overwhelmed with school. Settling in is weird.”

“Hmm, I see,” Yukari hums, giving a nod in understanding. She slips herself down onto the seat beside me. “I’m glad you’re making friends, though. Gosh, I’m super excited to make pizza and cookies for everyone this weekend!”

“Hmm...” I can’t help but sort of grimace at that. I’m not even sure why I feel so odd. Perhaps I’m still homesick. “School is great, honestly. But I get the feeling that...” That it’s almost too perfect. That’s the other thing I was thinking about. I get the feeling I’m overreacting though.

“That…?” Yukari repeats, curious and urging me to continue.

I’ve only _just_ moved here. I can’t jump to such absurd conclusions so soon. “Ah, nevermind,” I shyly laugh, shaking my head dismissively. “I think I’m still nervous, that’s all. I’ll try to enjoy my time here a bit more – go with the flow, ya know?”

“Ooh, I know.” Yukari giggles, probably at my rhyming.

Anyway, if I uncover the mysterious tension between Dell and Haku, I might feel more at ease. I already know it’s none of my business but maybe I can help them make up again. I’ll be sure to tread carefully when talking to Dell about it. The only thing that scares me a bit is approaching Haku. I have no idea what her personality is like at all. Only one way to find out, huh?

Sighing softly, I pick up a fork and start scoffing down the delicious breakfast my aunty made for me. It’s not as hot anymore since Yukari and I talked for a couple of minutes; it’s at the perfect temperature to inhale.

“Woah-hoh, slow down there, young lady.” Yukari tuts at my bad manners, but when I look up to her, I see a light grin on her face. “What’s the big rush?”

My cheeks flush in embarrassment. It’s not that this food isn’t delicious, but… I kind of wanted to gulp it all down so I wouldn’t be late by the time Dell arrives. I can’t exactly keep him waiting. Ah, what are these feelings, anyway? I feel my blush darkening as the weird thought that he reminds me of Len creeps into my mind. I drop my fork and cover my face with a squeak – Yukari’s eyes are digging into me like tiny little knives.

“Oooh~” She snickers in a sing-song tone. She’s just like a child…! Unbelievable! “I remember now. Dell is coming to pick you up and walk you to school. Aww, young love… Makes me yearn for my childhood.”

I subtly raise a brow. Doesn’t seem like her childhood was all that long ago. I slowly shake my head, starting to finish up my food. “Don’t be ridiculous, Aunty,” I say, with a mouth full of bacon. “Dell and I barely even know each other. Besides… All I want is a friend, nothing more.”

“Mmhm...” She softly laughs. Pssh, why do grown-ups always think they know everything that goes on in a child’s mind? Just as I scoop up the last bite, the doorbell rings out into the kitchen. “Oh, looks like he’s early. He must be very eager… to get to school, that is.”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you!” I choke, slamming my fist right against my chest to clear my airways properly. I nearly inhaled the rest of that bite from the shock of her suggestive words. I drop my fork onto the plate, swiftly jumping up from my seat at the table. Yukari just bursts into laughter as I start rushing around to grab my bag and the rest of my school things.

“I’ll open the door for Dell~” Yukari calls over to me from the other end of the kitchen, while my back is turned and I’m grabbing my shoes.

“No, no, no!” I frantically exclaim, extending my arm and waving it about, while also hopping around to face the door. My pitiable efforts are in vain, as she’s already at the door and pulling it open. Dell’s soft smile greets me, and that causes me to lose my balance while trying to pull my shoes on. I crash to the floor, making a complete fool of myself right in front of him. “Owwie!”

Dell lets out a concerned gasp; at the same time, Yukari can’t help but laugh at my misfortune.

“Grrr...” I hiss under my breath, seething as I wonder how I’m going to pay Yukari back for mocking me in front of Dell. It only takes a split second before I pull myself together and hop up from the floor. “I’m okay!” I announce, in a bright and cheery tone. _Everything hurts._

“Is she… always this clumsy…?” Dell asks Yukari, while I dash over to the front door. I stop in front of the two, desperate to stop my aunt from saying anything more.

“It’s a one off, I swear,” I smile through clenched teeth, side-eyeing the hell out of Yukari, begging her silently to not say another word. “Anyway, c’mon, let’s go!” Before he has a chance to wave goodbye to my aunt, I grab hold of his arm and yank him out of the house.

Once we’re outside, I quickly walk down the path. I can feel the steam seeping out of my head – I’ve been here five minutes and I’m already giving my new friends an excuse to ditch me…! I can’t believe myself. Taking in a deep breath, I finally slow down once I’m far enough away from the house.

“You’re a bit energetic this morning,” Dell’s voice comes from behind me. He hurries to catch up with me, a quizzical sort of tone in his statement.

“I think the, uh… um… hot air is getting to me,” I answer, tripping over my words as I try to come up with a not totally lame excuse. “It’s a big change from home, hehe...”

The silver-haired boy simply shrugs. “It’s okay if it’s nerves that are getting to you. We’ve all been there at least once.”

A long, drawn out sigh passes my lips. I feel relieved knowing that he understands. Not that I understand my feelings entirely myself. Those soft eyes… Why are they so similar to Len’s…? I flick my glance to the side, taking in the grassy scenery to my right, so that I don’t have to think about my idiot brother. I decide to focus on something else instead. “Dell, I… I hope you don’t mind me asking...” My words trail off as I wonder how to approach the matter sensitively.

“Hmm, what is it?” He tilts his head to the side, a curious glint in his eyes.

I grip my bag a little tighter while we walk. “What, uh… what exactly happened with Haku? Why do you not get along with her?” My breath gets caught in my throat when I notice Dell’s expression shift to a bitter one, with a hint of pain. I soon regret even asking at all.

“Rin, since you’re new here, I’ll let it slide...” Dell quietly responds, stopping in his tracks for a moment. I pause just behind him, a pang of guilt hitting my heart. “I understand that you’re curious and all, but it’s better if you stay out of that mess and away from her.”

“I...” Is it even worth apologising? I get the feeling he’s kind of annoyed with me, and telling him I’m sorry for sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong seems more like a slap in the face than being helpful.

Even so, he gives a nod and starts walking again. “I know.” It’s like he can read my mind or something.

I take in a light breath, walking alongside him once more, only this time silence hangs between us. All I can hear is the chirping of birds being carried along the cool morning breeze, and the squealing of cicadas in the distance. My guilt still remains but a part of me doesn’t want to let this go. I fight with myself internally for a short while; should I try to talk to Haku and get her side of the story? Do I want to go behind Dell’s back and get information? It could be a complete misunderstanding, and I could fix their friendship…! Being alone must be really hard for Haku.

“Anyway, did you come prepared for lunch this time?” Dell’s tone is brighter now, and it’s like he’s back to his usual self after I overstepped his boundaries. I’m glad I haven’t messed up… not yet, at least. He changes the subject to something better.

“Oh...” I raise my brows, realising what he means. Of course, I’ve come prepared for lunch today. Remembering how much food I put together last night, my bag suddenly feels a lot heavier than when I first left the house. I flash him a confident grin. “You bet I did! My aunty is a pro chef, you know?”

“Hahaha, I don’t doubt it,” Dell chuckles. “You’re gonna leave all of us in the dust, aren’t you?”

Relax, Rin. Don’t worry about things that’ll happen later… Just focus on the present, and you’ll be just fine. “Mhm!” I enthusiastically hum, nodding. We continue to talk about the upcoming school day, and the once tense, almost suffocating atmosphere begins to fade.

…

Morning classes pass by rather quick. The teachers only seem to be about halfway through the syllabus for the year, which means nothing too important has come up yet, giving me more than enough time to catch up and get right on track for the rest of the school year. This also means everything is relatively pressure free; the lessons are similar to the ones I had back at home, which makes it easier.

Before I know it, it’s time for lunch but this time, the others aren’t making a start at pushing our desks together. I look around at the four of them, a brow raised in curiosity. They’re moving to their small lockers at the back of the class, grabbing their bags. “Uh, am I missing something?” I ask, with a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Oh, we’re gonna eat lunch outside today.~” Teto speaks up first, answering before the others can.

“Ah, right...” I nod. Of course, I’m curious as to why they’re going outside today, but I figure they must switch it up every once in a while. It _is_ pretty hot inside the classroom today, anyway. The fresh air will be a nice change. Rubbing at the back of my neck, I sneak a glance over to the front of the class, where Kiyoteru’s desk stands. He’s out of sight, but there is someone standing there, with their back turned and a stick of chalk in their hand. I recognise the long silver hair almost straight away.

“C’mon, let’s get a move on, Rin!” Neru’s excited voice calls out to me, and the second I turn to face her, I see a bag hurtling toward me.

“Wah-!” I gasp, eyes widening. The closer it is to smacking me in the face, the sooner I realise it’s my own bag. My reflexes kick in quick enough – just in time for me to catch it. I let out a huff as it makes contact with my chest. “Geez… Thanks, Neru.”

She smirks playfully as a response, sticking her thumb up. “No prob, girl.”

“You should’ve at least given her a warning, Neru...” Fukase speaks up in his usual quiet, lecturing tone.

“But surprises are always fun, Fukase!” Teto adds, poking her nose into the conversation. I roll my eyes with a light smile pulling at my lips, throwing my bag over my shoulders.

“Alright, let’s move.” Dell gestures to the door, allowing Neru and Teto to walk out first. I dart my eyes between Dell and Haku’s back.

“Uhh, I’ll catch up in a minute – I wanna talk to Mr. Hiyama about something real quick, okay?” Without even fully making a decision in my head, I make up an excuse on impulse. I’m kind of shocked when those words slip out. Too late to go back now. Dell and Fukase momentarily exchange glances, before shrugging and accepting what I told them.

“Alright, don’t take too long, though,” Dell says.

“We’ll wait for you to come back before starting to eat,” Fukase adds, with a nod. With that, the two boys make their way out of the classroom.

I take in a deep breath to prepare myself. I wait until they close the door behind him. There are only a few other students in the class; those who’ve chosen to get lunch indoors, and of course, Haku scribbling away on the board. It feels wrong to go behind their backs like this, although I’m somewhat optimistic that nothing but good will come from this in the end. I head to the front of the classroom and stop just in front of Kiyoteru’s desk, giving a light cough to gain her attention. “Um…” How do I even begin a conversation like this? ‘Hey Haku, let me ask you all about a private and potentially upsetting topic real quick’?

“Hmm?” She lowers her arm and spins around on her heels to face me. She’s holding a textbook in her other hand. I take a couple of seconds to take in her appearance. Her expression is very relaxed but something tells me she isn’t in the mood to be friendly, especially not to me, as I’m friends with Dell. “If you’re looking for Mr. Hiyama to sign up to the sports club, then he won’t be back for another ten minutes or so.” She gets straight to the point, her tone blunt.

“I’m not looking to-” Wait. Sports club? “I didn’t know there was a club here...”

“There are plenty. The sports club just happens to be holding a big event very soon,” she responds. I half-expected her to give me an attitude when she answered, but… She doesn’t do anything of the sort. She snaps the textbook shut, setting it down onto the teacher’s desk. “Our team really needs an extra member, so if you’re interested in that sort of thing, talk to Mr. Hiyama.”

Well, I’ve learned something that I hadn’t even set out to look for. If this goes badly, it won’t totally be a waste of time. I suppose this is good, though. Talking casually like this will give me a better idea on what kind of person Haku is. “Oh, so what event is the school holding?” I’m not incredibly interested, but if it’s an easy sport, I might be able to give it a try. I want to settle in as much as I can.

“Water volleyball.” She answers so quickly that I almost don’t register exactly what she just told me.

“Ah… W-Wait, water volleyball?” I can’t say I’ve ever heard of such a thing. “And this is a… serious competition?”

Haku gives a single nod. “It was my idea, actually...” For the first time, her cold outer shell breaks, and a small proud yet modest smile crosses her features.

“That’s so cool! Whenever we suggested things like that at my old school, it was never taken into account,” I giggle. Hold up, why am I blabbing to her about my old school as if we’re friends or something? She makes me feel like I can tell her anything.

“Wait...” Her warm smile is gone as quickly as it came on. She throws up a protective barrier around herself, immediately narrowing her eyes at me. “Why are you talking to me?”

I know exactly what she means by this. It’s obvious she’s seen me walking around with Dell and the others. She must think I’m trying to get some information out of her – or maybe she thinks I’m hoping for her to slip up and bad mouth them. “That’s, uh… that’s what I was going to get to,” I answer, the awkward tension practically starting to wrap itself around my neck. “What… what exactly happened with you and Dell…?”

Her eyes reflect that of the same glare Dell gave me on the way to school this morning, although the girl looks a lot more upset and hurt than he did. She lowers her glance to the floor, unable to give me an answer. “Maybe you’re just faking sympathy for me, or maybe you’re not… Whatever it is you’re hoping to get out of this, it’s better that you just leave it. Dell… made it perfectly clear how he feels about me, as did the rest of your friends.”

Those words are so vague. Literally anything could’ve happened between the two. But at least she doesn’t appear to be annoyed at me for butting in. Still, I feel like I can’t let it go. “Forgive me for sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong but… I really think it’s all been a misunderstanding. Can you please tell me what happened?”

Haku folds her arms over her chest at this, narrowing her eyes at me. I can feel her scanning me, taking in my appearance. I squirm at the uncomfortable feeling of being watched. Is she trying to figure out what makes me tick? However, when she speaks, it doesn’t end in disaster. “Alright. But _only_ if you join the water volley team.”

“E-Eh?” I squeak, taken back by the strange deal. Then again, if that’s _all_ I need to do in order to know more… “S-Sure, I guess. But I’ll have you know, I don’t think I’ll be a valuable asset to the team...”

“No worries. I happen to be the unofficially elected captain of the team,” Haku responds, with a light grin. She holds her hand out to me.

“Huh…?” I bite down on my lower lip, glancing down to her extended palm. I suppose she wants to shake on it. But why is my heart suddenly pounding a little faster in my chest? “Oh… Alright, you sold me.” I hesitantly stick my own hand out, and take hold of hers. The second I make contact with her – when I actually touch her – my heart skips a beat. What the hell is going on with me?!

Haku snaps me out of thought a moment later, by vigorously shaking my hand. “Great! Oh, and um, it’s probably best you don’t mention this to your friends. Our conversation, I mean. They kinda… hate me.” She lets out a sorrowful chuckle.

I pull my hand back with a quiet sigh. “No problem, I won’t tell them anything,” I answer. “I feel bad enough going behind their back while they’re waiting for me… Oh!” I forgot, they’re waiting outside for me!

“Ah?” Haku tilts her head, puzzled.

“I’m sorry, I really need to go,” I squeak, becoming a nervous mess as I realise just how long I’ve been in the classroom for. “I’ll see you later, Haku!” I give her a wave before turning around in a rush.

“Oh, Rin – we have practice after school, please be there for 5!”

I can hear her call behind me as I dash into the hallway, feeling bad for not letting her know I’ll be there. But I have so much more on my mind to worry about right now, not even including the fact that I just signed up for a sport that I’ve never heard of in my life.

I arrive outside about a few minutes later, and after rushing around the fields, I finally catch sight of my group of friends. The most noticeable thing sticking out being Teto’s bright pink hair, and Fukase’s slightly less bright red hair. Although I’m running out of breath – because I’m not exactly super fit – I power through and approach the benches that overlook the running track.

“Oh, there she is,” comes Neru’s teasing voice. The group all fix their eyes on me with welcoming smiles.

“Sorry! Sorry I’m- haaah… I’m late...” I stop in front of the bench, pressing my palms against my thighs and heaving to catch my breath.

“What were you doing for so long?” Teto wonders. She pulls herself up from the bench, and the others follow a few moments later.

“Aha, funny story, actually...” I scratch at my cheek with a finger.

“Well, tell us all about it during lunch,” Dell replies, before leading us over to a patch of grass in front of the benches. There are some students not too far down, doing warm ups and such. It must be for the event Haku mentioned.

Fukase slides his bag off his shoulders and kneels down to unzip his bag. He digs deep into the bag, tongue slightly sticking out and one eye squished shut.

“Need a hand?” Neru offers, although there’s a teasing hint in her words.

“I got it...” Fukase grumbles, cheeks flushing pink.

“Uhm, got what, exactly?” I pipe up. I feel so out of the loop, but I guess that’s only natural.

“Got… this…!” He finally pulls his arm out of the bag, and in his hand he reveals a small, folded up piece of cloth. Of course, he starts to unwrap it before our eyes, which soon reveals a picnic blanket big enough for the five of us.

“Ooh, it’s pretty and pink!” Teto points out the obvious, her eyes all starry at the alluring colour.

“Wow, Fukase. Don’t tell me you borrowed Cul’s blanket,” Dell says, clearly straining to stop himself from snickering.

“H-Huh?” The red-head’s eyes grow wide, and the blush on his cheeks becomes about ten shades darker. Figuratively speaking, that is. “Ahhh, I packed this in the dark… I thought it was a nice red…!”

“A nice red, just like your face right now,” Neru remarks, which causes Dell to lose his composure and begin to double over laughing.

“Aww, poor Fukase...” Although I say that, seeing the others giggle and laugh away at his clumsy mistake kind of makes me want to join in. I’ve made my fair share of dumb mistakes though, so I resist the urge.

“I want the biggest share of your food today, you damn monsters...” Fukase hisses under his breath, setting the picnic blanket up. He shuffles onto the blanket first with a light huff.

“S-Sorry, Fukase. I just… Wow, how does that even happen?” Neru isn’t going to let it go that easily, it seems. She sits down with the rest of us.

“If it makes you feel better, I love the blanket...” Teto’s bubbly tone is intended to make him feel less embarrassed, but I imagine it just makes him feel so much worse.

“You’re all going to pay for this, I swear,” Fukase huffs again, sticking his cheeks out in a childish manner.

I can’t help but quietly giggle. These guys are incredibly fun to be around. I just hope it lasts once the truth starts to unfold itself. I place my bag down in front of me and pull my extra large lunch-box out, setting it onto the blanket. “Well, what do you all think?~” I slyly grin, knowing I’ve outdone them this time.

“Woah. You really have blown us all out of the water,” Dell says, with a raised brow.

I look around the circle at the others’ lunch-boxes. They’re as big as yesterday and packed full of the same food, but mine is clearly the winner here today.

“Wooow, Rin…! Did your aunt make all of that?” Teto gasps, staring at it in awe.

I’d be lying if I said I made the majority of the food. “Well, I kinda helped out here and there. But yeah, she did it all.”

Neru eyes up the lunch-box, giving an impressed whistle. “Let’s not waste any time then, huh? It may look good, but let’s see if it tastes good!”

With that, we crack open our own lunch-boxes – a mixture of different food scents hit my nose, making my mouth water in anticipation. There’s rice, bright veggies, small cuts of meat and more. It all looks so delicious. I don’t even want to think about dessert. If I get too ahead of myself, I won’t be able to enjoy all this food here. There’s some silence as we take the first few bites, picking out of each other’s boxes, and a few ‘mm’ noises in delight.

Once we’ve settled the hunger in our stomachs, conversation starts back up. I figure I should speak first, letting them know about my new place on the sports team. “So, uh… I heard some students talking about the sports event that’s coming up, so I decided to ask Mr. Hiyama about it.”

“Uh oh.” Teto is the only one who responds, and it’s not a good reaction.

“Rin, you… didn’t sign up for water volley, did you?” Neru reluctantly asks.

Why are they all staring at me like that? Is it because Haku is on the team? I hold my breath for a moment. “W-Well, I just wanted a club to join, to try and settle in a bit more...”

“You know that _she’s_ on the team, don’t you?” Dell emphasises ‘her’ very bitterly, almost like he refuses to utter her name.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Rin,” Fukase quietly says.

“Well… Maybe… maybe if you guys just told me what the deal with Haku is rather than hiding it…!” I don’t fully lash out but I do end up raising my voice, making it clear that I’m offended about being kept in the dark. I don’t even mean to be so childish and demanding, but I know that keeping secrets just fucks everything up. Despite all this, no one gives in.

The silver-haired boy lets out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “Rin, please just forget about it. You can do whatever you want – join the sports team if it’s your passion. But please don’t try to get any info out of Haku.”

Part of me wants to challenge him and interrogate further. Though the rational part of me knows not to push it any further right here. This still doesn’t mean I’m going to give up talking to Haku. Silence falls once more, but this time, no one else starts a new conversation for the rest of the lunch period.

…

A loud whistle echoes through the building. “Alright everybody, into the water!” The whistle is soon followed by Haku’s booming orders, which makes me feel increasingly uncomfortable. I don’t know any of these students. It’s going to be difficult to jump right into the deep end. Both literally and figuratively.

Since I don’t own a school branded swimsuit, Haku graciously pulled a spare from some dusty old locker in the changing rooms. Perhaps that’s part of the reason why I feel so fidgety right now. The swimsuit is just a plain old black with some school and event related prints on the back.

I follow the rest of the team toward the pool, hanging at the back of the line. They’re all in their own pairs; at the front there’s a girl and boy with brown hair, behind those two there’s a girl with short black hair and a boy with light pink hair, and at the back there’s little old me. Of course, someone is walking alongside me – a boy with messy blonde hair, and what sticks out the most straight away is the large bandage wrapped around his right eye.

“You all know the drill. Move it!” Haku shouts out again, hurrying us into the pool. Dang, she’s scary when she’s in bossy leader mode.

I watch silently as everybody dips themselves into the pool. The boy at the front with the brown hair dives in from the side, whereas the others walk down the steps. When he surfaces from his dive, another sharp whistle echoes out as a way of telling him off. It finally comes to my turn; I anxiously grip the metal rail as I descend into the water, hoping I don’t make a fool of myself and slip face first in.

I gasp under my breath as the chilly water makes contact with my bare legs at first and then the rest of my body. I can’t remember the last time I went swimming except for leisure back at home. Drifting toward the others, I slowly spin around to look up at Haku, who is now standing by the edge of the pool. She’s also wearing a swimsuit but it doesn’t look like she’s going to be joining us in here just yet.

“First of all, I’d like you all to meet your new teammate – Rin Kagamine,” Haku announces, pushing the spotlight onto me. I lightly roll my eyes before giving everyone a small wave. “Let us keep Mayu in our thoughts, however. Her accident was truly tragic. If fate hadn’t betrayed her that day, she’d still be here to win the event for us.”

I awkwardly glance around at the others, whose expressions are all serious. It’s almost comedic. I’m left wondering who Mayu is and just what the hell happened to her. And wait, did Haku imply that we’re going to lose because I took the star player’s spot?

Haku brightens up after wiping away a fake tear under her eye.

Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into? This is… a group full of freaks…! Ugh, right, I can’t really judge them after everything I’ve done.

“Rin, I’d like you to meet your teammates.” Haku begins to point to each of the members casually bobbing in the water. She starts by gesturing to the two brown haired kids: Clara and Bruno. They appear to be bright and full of energy, pumped and ready to play. She then moves to the duo that had been walking in front of me on the way into the pool: Mizki and Yuuma. These two seem far more reserved, yet I catch a glimpse of determination in their eyes. Finally, she points to the boy with the bandage around his eye: Oliver.

“Wow, uh...” I rub at the back of my head, wondering if I’ll be able to remember so many names at once. “It’s nice to meet you all. I gotta give you guys fair warning, I’ve never heard of water volleyball, let alone played it.” Honesty is the best policy, right?

Clara lets out a sort of snort laugh, and when she talks, she comes out with a strong Spanish accent, something I hadn’t really expected. “Don’t worry, _dulzura,_ none of us knew what the hell this game was before Ms. Team Leader here introduced us to the crazy concept.” She gestures her head to the left, obviously referencing Haku as ‘Ms. Team Leader’. Cute.

“It’s true,” Mizki softly says, with a sly smile as she agrees with Clara.

“But of course, we’re true pros at this now!” Bruno has the same strong accent as Clara, except his words are more accentuated due to his apparent large ego.

“We’ll help you get the hang of it, basically,” Yuuma adds, with a shrug.

“I’m still kind of struggling myself, so we’ll learn together, Rin.” Oliver admits in a low, bashful voice, flashing me a smile.

“Now that we’re all acquainted, let’s do less talking and more playing.” Haku finally brings the chit-chat to an end, just like a teacher would regain control over a noisy classroom. Her natural talent to be a leader is incredibly admirable. Although I suppose she still has a hint of childishness, as she blows into the whistle to make it squeak out and get our attention. She begins pointing once more, this time to give her orders. “Rin, Mizki, Yuuma – on the left side of the net! Clara, Bruno, Oliver – other side!”

When I turn around, I finally notice the giant net in the centre of the pool. Man, I must really be dumb. I hadn’t seen it when I had first come in from the changing rooms. Not entirely sure on where to position myself, I swim after Mizki to our side of the net and await more instructions. Suddenly, before I turn around to look at Haku, a rather loud ‘heads up!’ comes from behind me, followed by a pelting sort of noise.

“I got it, I got it-!” Bruno jumps up in the water, waving his arms around. That’s when I see a ball fly over my head. All I can do is watch its movement, turning my head while dumbfounded. Bruno’s hands miss the ball, causing it to create a pretty big splash radius.

“Pff-!” Clara coughs, throwing her arms up instinctively to cover her face, but it’s too late. “Aughh, _idiota,_ you got water all over my face.”

I snicker quietly under my breath at the entertaining sight before my eyes. Dell really was telling the truth. Everyone at this school is super nice, and it’s been so easy to fit into my new club. I feel like I’ve been part of it forever.

“Alright, Rin. Ready to learn the basics?” Haku grabs my attention, snapping me out of thought. “We’ll run through a simple set so you can get the hang of it. Show her what you’ve got, guys. And don’t go easy on her!”

Gulping, I face the three on the opposite side of the net. Wait, please do go easy on me. I don’t wanna get smacked in the face with a ball. With a scream of the whistle, my suffering begins now.

…

The session lasts for around an hour and a half. Quite possibly the worst hour and a half of my life, in fact. By the time the set finishes, I’m left soaking wet and miserable, having made only a fraction of progress. Even Oliver has shown improvement by the end, and he was in the same position as me. A final whistle signals the end of the session, and Haku begins shouting out her orders for everyone to get out of the pool, praising our work for the day. It’s funny… At the start, I felt so confident and like I was part of the team… Now I just feel like a sort of burden on them.

“Wait, Rin. Stay in the pool for a sec there, okay?” I’m about to clamber up the steps, until Haku cuts my movements short with a strange request to stay behind. I puff my cheeks out, groaning quietly to myself. She dismisses everybody else, who head toward the changing rooms laughing and chattering all about the fun they had. I rest my arms against the edge of the pool, grumbling to myself.

Once everyone has cleared off, Haku walks over to the steps. “I couldn’t help but notice you aren’t exactly getting the hang of this...” Way to be blunt about it and straight to the point. “I know it’s all new and confusing, and I don’t wanna be a bitch about it, alright? But you gotta stick in just a little bit more than you did today.”

Ugh, now she really seems like a teacher. Lecturing me about ‘sticking in more’ and pressing me to ‘do better’. “C’mon, it’s only day one,” I sigh.

“Yes, and there’s only seven days until the tournament,” Haku retorts, slightly stern but also remaining calm. “I’m gonna teach you a few pointers. It’ll only take an extra ten minutes or so.”

It must be some time past 7pm right now. When I texted my aunty earlier, I told her I’d be home before 7. If I stay any later, she might get all worried. “Can’t we do this in our next practice session?” I raise a brow at her, trying to compromise or something.

“Nuh-uh,” she hums, shaking her head. She slips into the water beside me, and before I can say anything, she grabs my wrist and pulls me along to the centre of the pool. A mischievous chuckle escapes her lips. When we arrive at the centre, she twirls me around so that my back is facing her. I look ahead to the net with uncertainty. “First of all, your techniques of hitting the ball are all off.”

“Is this some sort of critique session?” I raise a brow, resisting the urge to look over my shoulder at her in annoyance. I’m met with a ‘shush’ from her, so I simply grin and bear it.

Haku floats along to the left of me, reaching an arm around me to place her hands on my shoulders. What is she doing…? “Let’s start with the way you move when hitting the ball,” she says, in a sort of quiet tone.

“Is there really a _wrong_ way to hit a ball?” I can’t help but question her logic, but she shushes me once more.

“You gotta get your arms like this...” She traces her hands down from my shoulders, controlling my position by gently lifting my arms so they’re only just out of the water. The way she traces her smooth fingertips over my body sends a light shiver down my spine. She moves forward slightly again, wrapping her palms over my hands. “And sort of join your hands together...”

I find that my breath gets caught in my throat – the exact same thing I felt with Dell. I allow her to shift my hands into the correct position, which ends up being some weird thing where my fingers are linked together. I keep my eyes forward, feeling far too awkward to actually look at her. I hear the gentle splashes of water to my left; she shifts herself behind me. My heart is pounding a bit faster, knowing she’s right behind me. I bite down on my lip, waiting to see what comes next.

“And finally, you have to straighten yourself out… Like this...” She slides her hands down, resting her palms right against my waist, holding me loosely in place. She doesn’t even need to fix my posture; I jolt upright practically as soon as her hands touch such a typically intimate area.

“H-Haku…?” I whisper, getting the feeling this isn’t _just_ a lesson for volleyball. I feel her breath tickling against the back of my neck, causing a blush to sneak up on my cheeks. I lightly shut my eyes, trying to gulp but it’s no use – my mouth has gone dry. I can’t be imagining this tense atmosphere. She must know what she’s doing to me. My heart… won’t stop pounding…

“You’re so interesting, Rin,” the silver-haired girl hisses from behind. Am I dreaming? Am I hearing this right – is she really speaking in such a… a… suggestive tone…?! A shaky breath passes my lips as her fingertips slowly trace up and down my hip. “You’re the first person who’s been nice to me in such a long time… I know you aren’t doing it just to be friends.”

Shit, is my love of girls really that obvious? Have I been giving off those signals the entire time? The fact that Haku wants me makes me feel incredibly good about myself, but something inside me gets the horrible feeling that this is wrong; that I’m betraying my friends for doing this. “H-Haku, I… All I wanted to know is...”

My words get all tangled up and I can’t say any more than that. Taking in a breath, I turn around to look her in the eye. The expression on her face is breathtaking. Her eyes full of mystery, begging me to uncover all her hidden secrets. I’m really not imagining this. I’m floored, left utterly speechless after one look at her.

“Please, let’s not talk about that,” Haku softly requests, pulling a hand away from my hip and instead trailing it up to rest on my cheek. Water drips down my face but that’s the least of my concerns right now. My mind goes back to the talk we had earlier. She said she’d tell me if I joined her team, but still nothing… However, it doesn’t even seem important right now. All that matters is this moment and nothing else. “I feel the same way as you, you know. You are truly innocent, I can see that… Your empathy for others is so strong and it makes you so beautiful.”

All the doubts that Dell and the others filled my head with earlier start to fade away. Now I’m more sure than ever that there’s been a misunderstanding between them, and it can be fixed, somehow. And Haku is right. Something drew me to her, something unexplainable.

I’m left unsure on how to answer her compliments. I really want to grab this chance at a possible romance, but I’m apprehensive due to the string of failures I’ve left behind. But, the way she looks at me and gently caresses my cheek… I find myself believing every word she tells me. She’s the only one that matters to me in this moment. No Dell… But for some reason, I still have Len at the very back of my mind. The way she’s holding me close with an arm around my waist gives me the feeling of deja vu; back to my birthday, when my brother held me…

“Honestly, I was going to try and avoid you. Not let myself get too close, in case you ended up hurting me like Dell hurt me,” Haku sighs, a look of pain and sadness overcoming her. “But something is telling me you’d never do that.”

Completely hypnotised, love-struck… I slowly shake my head, affirming that I’d indeed never do such a thing. After all, my purpose the entire time has been to get to know her and let her know she’s not alone, and that this _can_ be fixed. Just not in this moment right now, but maybe later. “I understand how you feel… It’s lonely, isn’t it?” I finally speak, a frown pulling at my lips.

“R-Rin, I… There’s something special about you...” Haku seems to be at a loss for words now, stuttering. I can see the pink in her cheeks now. In the blink of an eye, she dives forward and crashes her lips on top of mine.

My eyes grow wide in shock. I didn’t expect her to be so forward… and I barely even saw her move toward me…! She wastes absolutely no time at all – a moment later, while I’m still trying to process it, she yanks me closer to her, so that our bodies are now pressing against each other. My eyelids grow heavy as a sensation of passion and lust overwhelms me. I can feel the warmth of her lips. I can’t resist any longer. My eyes finally slip shut, and I slowly move my arms up to rest around the back of her neck. Her hand finally falls from my cheek and takes it place back against my hip. This is unbelievable… The fiery lust is too much for me to handle already…!

“Mmh,” she mumbles, pulling back from my lips after a good few seconds. She only pulls back a small bit; when I open my eyes, I’m in a sort of daze, breathless from it. “I’m sorry for that, but...”

I guess the only thing I can do is convince her that I want this. I close my eyes once more, this time being the one to initiate a kiss for the first time. I return the burning passion she passed onto me just a few seconds ago, sliding my hand up the back of her neck to her hair. I fumble around a little bit, distracted from the deepening kiss, before loosening the bun she’s wearing and allowing her hair to fall freely over her shoulders. I then start to run my fingers through her hair, tilting my head slightly to the side with a soft groan of what can only be pleasure.

After remaining locked at the lips for at least a minute, Haku and I slowly pull away from one another, unable to handle going any further. I open my eyes, this time truly breathless from such an intense kiss. I’ve literally never felt like this before. My entire body… it’s like I’m numb and weak, after giving into my feelings. And to think, I’ve only been at school for a couple of days.

Haku softly laughs, untangling our bodies. She swims back a pace or two, giving me some personal space again. She grabs her hair bow which is floating beside her. She looks pretty cute with her hair down like that. “Now my hair is all wet...” she playfully pouts.

“Long hair problems. Can’t relate,” I remark, giving a casual shrug with a slight smirk. “We… better get out of here, right?”

“Yeah, I’m starting to freeze my butt off,” Haku snickers, nodding in agreement. We make our way over to the steps and when I exit the water, I immediately begin to suffer from the cold. “C’mon, let’s get a towel over you, you poor thing.”

I’m still slightly dazed from what just happened. This is the first person I feel like I’m able to fully trust, on an intimate level. It’s different with Meiko and Miku at home. I’ve trusted them ever since we met. But, to finally feel like I’ve been successful in the intimacy department… It’s a huge relief, and it’s making me giddy. I can’t jump to conclusions, I know that. One step at a time. But still… Damn, she’s such a good kisser. The two of us make our way to the changing rooms.

My mind suddenly jumps to Yukari. Oh man, I’m going to be home so late. And Haku is the cause of it this time, not Dell. I wonder how I’ll explain this one to her.

**...**


End file.
